Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

The Internet Loves Stories About Them, Too

| Dallas, TX, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Technology

Customer: “Excuse me, ma’am, where would I go to complain to a manager?”

Me: “What is the issue? Maybe I can help?”

Customer: “Forget it. I’ll just go complain on the Internet.”

Me: “Are you sure? It won’t be but a couple of seconds.”

Customer: “Yes, I’m sure. The Internet loves this stuff.”

Me: *gives him a weird look* “Well, okay then. Have a good day!”

(I later tell my manager what happened, and he just laughs.)

Manager: “Okay, I’m sure he’ll get real far with that. One less dumb-a** I have to deal with.”

She Has Taken The Black

| Scotland, UK | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Hotels & Lodging

(I am a breakfast chef at a five-star hotel. We have a lot of North American customers who are unfamiliar with some popular European foods. A waiter draws my attention to an order they have just taken.)

Waiter: “Vegetarian breakfast with black pudding. I tried explaining but she just shoo-ed me away.”

(Black pudding is made from pigs’ blood.)

Me: “Do you want to check again, that she’s sure?”

(The waiter goes off to check again with the customer and returns a minute later.)

Waiter: “She’s sure. She ate it before and it was delicious. And she isn’t very happy at her order being questioned.”

Me: “I’ll just go and check.”

(I go to the customer’s table.)

Me: “Are you a vegetarian, ma’am?”

Guest: “Yes. Yes, I am.”

Me: “Are you aware of what black pudding is?”

Guest: “Look, I had it for the first time a few days ago and it was delicious. Now, just get me my d*** breakfast.”

Me: “Can I just explain…”

(I go into the full details of how black pudding is made, with the boiling of the pigs’ blood, the addition of oatmeal and diced pig fat, etc. I note the customer going greener and greener as the story goes on.)

Guest: “Actually, could I just have cereal and toast, please?”

The Mark Of A Bad Customer

| Australia | Crazy Requests, Home Improvement

(A customer comes to my counter with a roll of fabric.)

Customer: “Hi, I’d like two metres, please. But there’s a mark on the fabric.”

Me: “Not a problem. Just show me where the mark is and I can sort something out for you.”

(She shows me a really tiny pinhead-sized section of the fabric that is slightly lighter than the rest. You’d practically need a magnifying glass to even notice it.)

Me: “Oh, I wouldn’t worry about that. It will come right out in the wash.”

Customer: *horrified* “I’m not washing it!”

Me: “It’s a cotton fabric, ma’am. I highly recommend you pre-wash it. It will shrink a little bit the first time; if you sew it first the seams will pucker.”

Customer: “I am not having that bit with the mark!”

(It’s a cheap fabric, so I decide not to argue with her.)

Me: “Okay, well, I can give you a discount—”

Customer: “CUT THAT BIT WITH THE MARK OFF!”

(I had to cut off over a metre of fabric off just to avoid ‘the mark’, which we then had to put in our half-price box. Normally I’d let the customer keep the extra bit of fabric, but there was no way I was wasting it on her.)

Warning Signs: AKA Price Tags

| MN, USA | Crazy Requests, Money

(In addition to selling coffee we also sell things like mugs and greeting cards. A woman brings three cards up to the counter.)

Me: *after ringing them up* “That’ll be $16.50.”

Customer: “What? $16.50 for three cards? Are you sure?”

Me: *checks* “Yes, I’m sure. See, on the back it shows how much it is. These are all around $5 so with tax that makes $16.50.”

Woman: “Well, that seems like too much.”

Me: “Well,they are kind of expensive, but they are also really great cards and I’m sure whoever you are buying them for will love them.”

Customer: “But still, $16.50!”

Me: “Do you still want to buy them?”

Customer: “Well, yes, but you should have some sort of warning sign up.”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “A warning sign. Write a sign that says, ‘Beware: cards are expensive!’”

Won’t Be Checking Out With This Cart

| San Diego, CA, USA | Bigotry, Crazy Requests, Money

(I have been operating a business for the past year where I buy merchandise from auctions, etc. and sell them on Craigslist. I’ve got seven years of customer service under my belt, so I know how to deal with people. The following conversation occurs through text messages. He contacts me about a janitorial cart I have listed for $75.)

Craigslister: “Do you still have your janitor cart still for sale to make an offer on?”

Me: “Hi there! Yes, it’s still available. I won’t be around tomorrow but my boyfriend will be here all day if you’d like to come check it out.”

Craigslister: “Will you ask him if he will take $30 for it?”

Me: “Definitely not. The lowest we can go is $60. They sell in store for over $100 and this one hasn’t been used. If you can do $60 we have a deal.”

Craigslister: “Highest I’ll do is $40. They’ve got almost new ones on Craigslist for $50.”

Me: “And my new one for $60, no almost about it. But there’s no use haggling. Your mind is made up. Best of luck to you.”

Craigslister: “I actually wanted one so I could make my grandpa a fishing cart for his birthday. So no use being a jerk. If it’s so new you should return it.”

Me: “I’m not being a jerk. If you won’t do my asking price, you don’t need to point out what others are selling it for. If you can find it for less, why even ask me? I think it’s a sweet idea what you’re doing but you’re not going to coerce me into selling it for next to nothing because others have it for $10 less than I’m willing to go. Get it from them then and be done.”

Craigslister: “You must be a woman.”

Me: “You must be an idiot.”

Craigslister: “Nah, the idiot is gonna be the guy that buys the cart. You’re probably an illegal if anything. Who buys janitorial supplies? Or you stole it.”

Me: “You’re funny. This is my business. I buy and sell things on Craigslist. I deal with people like you all the time. You think that by telling me someone has it for cheaper that I will lower my price. Just get it from them then! Don’t waste my time. I really don’t care what you’re going to do with it. If you don’t like my price, move on. Don’t attempt to insult me because I won’t take half price for it. That’s your problem, not mine.”

Craigslister: “Yup, I was totally right. You’re illegal. Go back to Mexico.”

(My blood was boiling at this point, so I decided to just walk away from it. After cooling down several hours later, I posted an ad on Craigslist in Spanish asking for yard work with his phone number as the contact. I giggled and have now moved on with my life.)