Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

Too Much TV Turns Us Into Idiots

| AZ, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Movies & TV, Technology

Me: “Thank you for contacting [Cable Tech Support]; my name is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “My cable box isn’t working and I’m sick of this crappy service! I’m almost ready to cancel!”

Me: “Oh, okay, I can definitely help you out with that, ma’am. So your cable box receiver is out? Let’s see what is going on.”

Customer: “There is just a blank screen and nothing is coming on at all. The cable box is on and all the lights are on but the TV is blank!”

Me: “Okay, is it on the correct channel for the cable?”

Customer: “How the h*** am I supposed to know that if it’s blank?!”

Me: “Even with the cable box down the TV should still function.”

Customer: “That’s the thing! The TV WON’T COME ON! I PRESS POWER ON THE TV AND NOTHING HAPPENS!”

Me: “Ma’am… you may need a new TV.”

Hats Off To Your Patience

| Honolulu, HI, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

(I work in a hat store in a hotel. If they’re guests of the hotel, they can ask to do room charges. A woman comes in with a coupon that she wants to use on a previous purchase. We are allowed to do this but the hat needs to be in good condition. I’m training someone so I’m trying to do everything by the book.)

Customer: “I’m just trying to get my discount. I’m not going to return the hat.”

Me: “I understand that, ma’am. But this is policy and we are in the process of training new employees so I’m trying to do everything by the book.”

Customer: “Well, it’s a waste of time.”

(Right away I know she is going to be a difficult customer. She leaves to get the hat from her hotel room and comes back. I do the return. Because the purchase is originally a room charge, she has two options.)

Me: “Would you like it back in cash or to put it back on your room?”

Customer: “Just change the original amount.”

Me: “Oh, I’m afraid that’s not possible. The amount has already been charged. We can refund the amount to your room, though, or give you the cash difference.”

(She looks at me like I’m crazy.)

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Well, when your husband made the purchase, he put on a room charge. That has already been charged. We would have to process a refund order.”

Customer: “Why can’t you just change the amount from the first order?”

Me: “Because the amount has already been charged to your room. I can give it to you back in cash or do a refund order.”

Customer: “I don’t understand. Just change the amount. It was just yesterday. Just change it.”

(At this point, I’m smiling because I’m ready to smack a b****.)

Me: “Ma’am, the amount has already been added to your room. We are required to process all room charges at the end of the day. We can give you a refund—”

Customer: “I just want you to change the amount.”

Me: “Ma’am, I told you, we cannot do that. The hotel has already charged it. We cannot un-charge it and change the amount. We have to give you a refund.”

(Customer looks at me like I’m stupid.)

Customer: “Well, then what do I do now?”

Me: “Like I said, we can give you the refund by either making another hotel order or giving it to you in cash.”

Customer: “So you can’t just go back and change the order?”

Me: “No, ma’am. Like I said, the hotel has already processed it. But we can give you a refund in either of the two forms.”

Customer: “Well, I still don’t understand but I guess you can just refund it to my room.”

Me: “All right. The amount is $9.42.”

Customer: “I thought my refund was $40 dollars.”

Me: “The coupon is ten percent off. Your purchase was $94.23 cents.”

Customer: “Oh. Is it only $9?”

Me: “Yes, because that is ten percent of $94.23.”

Customer: “Are you sure the coupon is not more?”

Me: “Would you like to look at the coupon again?”

Customer: “No, it’s fine. Just get it done.”

(I take out the form for a room charge. I fill out the paperwork. I have to call the front desk to confirm. It’s the afternoon so they are super busy. It takes a long time.)

Me: “I’m sorry. They’re quite busy right since people are checking in.”

Customer: “Are you sure you can’t just change the amount? That way I won’t have to wait.”

(Honestly, if I wasn’t training someone, I would have yelled at her.)

It’s Like Talking To A Wall-Phone

| Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Technology

Me: “Welcome to [Phone Company]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Hi. My phone doesn’t work.”

Me: “Okay, You’ve rung the number to find out who your phone company is currently. Would you like to know who your phone company is so you can report it?”

Customer: *getting angry* “No, I want to know why my phone doesn’t work. There is nothing on the other end, no dial tone, nothing. I can’t make any calls!”

Me: “You would have to report that to your phone company. Do you know who that is?”

Customer: “I don’t have one.”

Me: *now a bit confused* “Erm… sorry?”

Customer: “I don’t have a phone company. I found an old telephone in the shed, so I plugged it in to the wall to see what would happen, and I can’t make any calls! It’s a disgrace!”

Me: *rendered speechless* “Erm…”

Customer: “What if I was dying or something ? How would I make a call? The government should do something about it; this is a disgrace!”

Me: “So how are you calling me right now?”

Customer: “On my cell phone.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t help you unless you want to know who your home-phone company is, and… you don’t have one.”

Customer: “That’s not good enough! I’m not hanging up until you tell me who I can complain to about this!”

Me: “Madam, as I said before, we are a customer service line to let you know who your current land-line provider is. As you don’t have a land-line, you don’t have a provider. And plugging a phone into a random socket doesn’t mean you automatically have a phone service. With anyone.”

(The customer would not hang up until I gave them the number of ‘someone’ who could fix this. Eventually I gave them the number of the Telecommunications Ombudsman, which she seemed quite happy with. I wonder what THEY made of her call?)

No Time-Out

| Arlington, TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Time

(We had a power outage on a Thursday, and Friday morning the power is back on but we have a lot of work that needs to be done before we can officially open. I put a sign on the door that says “Due to last night’s power outage we are closed until further notice.” At about one in the afternoon a customer comes up to the door and knocks.)

Customer: “Do you know when you’re going to be open?”

Employee: “No, sir, that’s why the sign says ‘until further notice.’”

Customer: “Well, can I go ahead and place my order and then you can just call me when you’re open and it’s ready?”

Bra-ce Yourself For This Customer

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(A woman comes in looking for something to make her “boobs pop!” on her wedding day. She’s wearing a push up bra already and is dissatisfied with her cleavage. As it’s for her wedding I suggest things like corsets, and suggest she add more padding if she wants even more cleavage. With every suggestion I make, her answer is “No, already tried that. Do you have something else?” all the while constantly pushing her boobs together and wiggling them in front of me while she’s asking her questions. At the time, silicone inserts are new to the scene. We call them “chicken fillets” amongst ourselves because that’s what they look like: raw chicken breast fillets. They are bits of silicone made to look and feel like part of a breast that you could insert into your bra for added cleavage. We don’t have any to sell but I explain to her what they look like and suggest she go down to a boutique lingerie store to get them. There is one less than five minutes walk away from us.)

Customer: “Sounds interesting but I don’t know what you’re talking about. It’s not like I’m going to go into a lingerie store and ask for chicken fillets! How do I know you’re not just saying it so I leave the store because you don’t want to help me and are sending me on a wild goose chase?! I don’t even know if what you’re talking about exists!”

(To prove I’m not making it up, I remember where we have a pair. They’re in the maternity bra on display on a mannequin.)

Me: “See that mannequin over there? She’s wearing a maternity bra. She’s the same size as all the other mannequins but as you can see, the bra is filled out and her breasts look bigger.”

Customer: “So?”

Me: “That’s because there are silicone inserts in her bra. Looks pretty realistic right?”

Customer: “I want to see them.”

(I realise right then that I just made a mistake. The mannequin is quite high and I need to get a ladder to pull it down. What’s worse is it’s a display and property of the maternity bra brand, not our store. I explain why I can’t pull the thing down and the woman just stands there ignoring everything I’m saying and taps her foot waiting for me to take it all down to show her.)

Customer: “I want to see them.”

(I bite my tongue, find a ladder, pull the mannequin down, take out the insert, and show her. I tell myself I can put it all back together quite easily.)

Me: “Just remember, these aren’t for sale. They belong to this brand specifically and are for display purposes only. I’m just showing you so you know what they look like so you—”

Customer: “Oh, my god!! That’s EXACTLY WHAT I WANT!”

(Squealing in excitement, she grabs the insert out of my hand and puts it into her bra. Seeing her boobs are now lopsided, she takes the maternity bra out of my hand, pulls out the other insert, and shoves it into her bra on the other side, pushing her boobs together again.)

Customer: “They’re perfect! I’ll take them! How much?!”

(I’m speechless. I didn’t expect her to actually take them and shove them into her bra. I repeat that they’re not for sale, that they’re for display; I was just showing her what they looked like and that they do exist and if she wants to buy a pair, she’s better off getting a new one at the boutique store. She refuses and demands we ring up the bill.)

Customer: “Why would I look elsewhere when I know I can get them right here?”

(I tell her again that it is not possible for me ring up a bill to sell something the store doesn’t own and to kindly return the inserts. She refuses to take the inserts out of her bra knowing nobody can actually take them out without touching her breasts and she threatens to walk out of the store and take them for free if we refuse to sell them to her. This incident extends for over an hour, going back and forth. She asks to see the rep for the maternity bra and asks HER to take money. She can’t take money because they weren’t made by the brand she represents, they were provided to help display the maternity bra. My line manager gets involved; the one above her does, too. Security is asked to come down but cannot escort her out of the store until she pulls the silicone out of her bra and returns them. At this point, it’s a stand off. A rep from another lingerie company comes in and asks what’s going on. We explain to her.)

Rep: “We can’t sell you the inserts, darling, but I’ll tell you what I’ll do. I’ll find you someone who can.”

(She calls the boutique store, the one that I had suggested the customer go to right at the beginning, and asks them to hold a box under the lady’s name.)

Rep: “There you go, sweetheart. There’s a brand new pair waiting for you on hold, at their store, five minutes away. If you don’t go now, you might not get it. They sell like hotcakes and they’ve only got two pairs left.”

Customer: *thinks about it, smiles* “Thank you.” *as if to say “Now that wasn’t that hard, now, was it?”*

(She pulls out the inserts from her bra and drops them into my hands (they’re disgustingly warm) and walks out of the store. I thank the rep and explain how I couldn’t understand why she didn’t go to the boutique store that I’d already suggested at the beginning.)

Rep: “Because people like that, darling, aren’t shopping. They’re out to torment people like you.”

Me: “Well, thank you. And thank God [Boutique Store] had them!”

Rep: “Yes, but if they didn’t, I would have told her they did anyway.”

Me: “But then wouldn’t she come back and complain?”

Rep: *giving me a wink* “Yes, but she wouldn’t have the inserts in her bra and security can walk her out.”

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