Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

Baby Cart

| MI, USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

(I am a fifteen-year-old man. I’m pulling in carts from the parking lot and putting them in the lobby so customers can just grab a cart and go shopping. I have just set a large group of carts as a young woman comes up to me pulling a stroller.)

Woman: “Hey, can you watch my baby while I go get groceries, please?”

Me: *startled* “Ma’am, you can bring your baby inside.”

Woman: *ignores me* “Thanks, here.”

(The woman pushed the stroller to me and I caught it to prevent it from rolling down the hill from the store’s entrance. I was stuck at the entrance, seriously worried that, at 15, I just got stuck with a kid. A few minutes later the lady came out with an armful of groceries, grabbed the stroller, and without even a thank you walked away…)

Doesn’t Give A Truck, Part 3

| AZ, USA | Crazy Requests, Money

Caller: “I need to place an order for a 10′ truck.”

Me: “No problem, ma’am! Can I start with your phone number?”

Caller: “My WHAT?”

Me: “Your phone number, ma’am?”

Caller: “Why do you need my phone number?”

Me: “I’m building a customer profile for you, so we can contact you with your rental information later.”

Caller: “Well, I don’t want one. Just reserve a truck for me.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can’t finish making a reservation if I don’t have a name and phone number to put on it.”

Caller: “So now you want my name, too? I’m not letting you data-farm me!”

Me: “Ma’am, we aren’t data-farming you. We just need to know who’s renting the truck.”

Caller: “Just put me down as ‘Jane Doe.’”

Me: “Okay… I still need a phone number.”

Caller: “Again? Fine, just put [phone number].”

Me: “All right, thank you, ma’am. We’ll just skip the email address for now…” *clicks buttons*

Caller: “What, and now you want my email? I thought this was a rental company?”

Me: “I don’t need your email address; it’s an optional step for people who want us to email them their order information.”

Caller: “Well, I’m not giving it to you. I don’t want my inbox to get spammed with junkmail.”

Me: “All right, ma’am. So will you be using this rental in the [Township] area?”

Caller: “How do you know I’m from [Township]?!”

Me: “Well, that’s the center you called, so I assumed that’s where you want to—”

Caller: “Are you tracing my call? If you knew that, then why did you ask for my name?”

Me: “Ma’am, you called a [Township] [Rental Company] dealer. No one is tracing your call.”

Caller: “How do I know you’re not tracking me right now? Can you tell where I am?”

Me: “I can’t, ma’am… I have no idea where you are.”

Caller: “Good. Keep it that way.”

Me: “So, do you need it for the [Township] area?”

Caller: “Where I go with my rental is my business. All YOU need to know is that I’m picking it up at your center at 10:00 am tomorrow and I’m dropping it off before you close. ”

Me: “Okay, got it. Let me see what’s available…” *skips a few forms to get to the truck list* “All right, I see a 10′ truck here, but it won’t be available until tomorrow afternoon. Is that still okay?”

Caller: “No, you’re not listening. I said I need it tomorrow at 10:00 am.”

Me: “I understand that ma’am, but our 10′ trucks are booked all morning. Would you like me to check other nearby centers to see if there are more available?”

Caller: “No, you’re still not listening. I need it at YOUR center at 10:00 am. I didn’t call a different center because I don’t want it at their center. I need it from THIS center, and I need it at 10:00 am.”

Me: “Well, in that case, would you consider an alternate truck size? I see here that the 15′ truck would be available in your time frame.”

Caller: “NO. I DO NOT WANT A 15′ TRUCK. Stop trying to up-sell me and give me the truck I asked for.”

Me: “I’m trying to ma’am, but I’m telling you it’s booked for tomorrow morning. Someone else will have it.”

Caller: “Then what’s the point of calling ahead?”

Me: “Ah… you called the night before. That’s still very short notice.”

Caller: “So how far in advance am I supposed to call?”

Me: “Well, first of all, the weekends are very busy, and you’re calling on a Friday night to pick up a truck on Saturday. If you want a better shot at getting a truck you should try reserving a week or two in advance and set it up on a weekday. I know Tuesdays tend to be very slow—”

Caller: “Well, I didn’t know I would need a truck a week ago, and I have to work during the week.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, and that’s typically the case for everyone.”

Caller: “So instead of giving me what I ask for, all you can do is make excuses.”

Me: *slightly agitated* “Ma’am, I am doing the best I can for you. You’re telling me what you want, and I’m telling you what we have. What I have is a 15′ truck that you can pick up tomorrow at 10:00 am and keep all day. Frankly, I’m shocked I can offer that deal on such short notice. If that doesn’t work for you, then I’m afraid you’ll have to alter your plans a little bit to fit the situation.”

Caller: “Fine, whatever. I’ll take that one. I’m tired of hearing you b**** and moan.”

Me: *takes a deep breath* “All right, ma’am, I have the 15′ truck scheduled to pick up at 10:00 am. The price will be $29.95 plus $0.79 per mile and a $1 environmental fee.” *a feeling of dread creeps in* “Which credit card would you like to use to confirm this reservation?”

Caller: “NOW, HOLD ON! First you want my personal information, and now you want my CREDIT CARD?!”

Me: “Ma’am, we aren’t going to charge it. We just need it to—”

Caller: “THE H*** YOU AREN’T! After all this trouble you’re giving me, now you’re trying to hack my bank account? If you think I’m giving you something as valuable as that over the phone, then you’re crazy. I’ll pay in cash.”

Me: “I understand, but I can’t put a hold on the equipment without a card number.”

Caller: “So now you’re blackmailing me? You’re going to hold my rental hostage until I give you what you want? GO F*** YOURSELF!” *hangs up*

Related:
Doesn’t Give A Truck, Part 2
Doesn’t Give A Truck

Wouldn’t Want To Be In Her Prescription Shoes

| USA | Crazy Requests, Technology

(I work at a call center for one of the nation’s largest insurance firms. Today I’m handling an irate caller who’s very upset that she can’t get back more money on her last claim for her prescription shoes.)

Customer: “This is absolutely disgusting! I’ve been a member for ten years and this is how you treat me?”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but $500 is the annual limit for footwear so you’ve already gotten the maximum rebate. That’s the same for everyone no matter how long they’ve been with us.”

Customer: “I don’t care about anyone else! I’ve been with you for ten years and I expect to be shown some gratitude!”

Me: “Ma’am, you’ve only been with us for a year at the most.”

Customer: “WHAT?! HOW DARE YOU! How dare you say that to me! Do you know who you’re talking to!?”

Me: “Yes, you are [Customer] of [Address]. You activated your policy [number] on [Date that’s just barely 12 months from today] and so far have tried to defraud us several times claiming you deserve more money than your policy allows.”

Customer: “HOW THE H*** DO YOU KNOW ALL THAT?!”

Me: “It’s right here on my screen, in your profile. We do pride ourselves on making sure we keep detailed records and know everything important about our customers so we can handle their issues at a moment’s notice.”

Customer: “F***!” *click*

Your Demand Is Not Kosher

| Seattle, WA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

Me: “Hello, [Pizza Place].”

Caller: “You guys delivered the wrong order to me!”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. Can I get some details from you?”

(I get the caller’s name and address and look them up in the system.)

Me: “So you ordered a vegetarian special? What did you receive?”

Caller: “We got sausage with the vegetables! We are Jewish! How dare you insult us by putting pork products on our pizza!”

Me: “I assure you, we did not intend to offend you in anyway. I see here that you’re in an area we deliver a lot to, meaning our delivery drivers tend to have more than one pizza on their runs at a given time. It’s possible they accidentally mixed up your order with someone else’s.”

Caller: “I still think I deserve to be compensated!”

Me: “Certainly, just bring the pizza back and we’ll make you a fresh one with no pork, free of charge.”

Caller: “What? That doesn’t do me any good!

Me: “Uh, and why’s that?”

Caller: “Well, we were starving so we ate the whole thing already. Giving us another pizza is pointless because we aren’t hungry anymore!”

Changing Payment Method Requires A New Method

| Crazy Requests

(I am working a morning shift and only have an hour left until I get to go home. A customer comes in wanting to update the payment method on a product he purchased. I am a customer service manager, have been for 5 years, so I know what I am doing.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but you have to call [Credit Company] and they will update the payment method for you.”

Customer: *raises his hand* “No, I don’t. You will change it for me. It’s not your fault. You are new and don’t know what to do.”

Me: “Sir, I have been working here for five years. When I tell you that we can’t change the payment method, I’m not BS-ing you. We cannot do it.”

Customer: “No. I come in here every time, and they allow me to change the payment method on this card from six months revolving payments to three months on this card.”

(At this time the customer starts yelling at me about how I know nothing so I call the store manager down.)

Store Manager: “Well, sir, like the Customer Service manager said, you need to phone the number on the back of your credit card.”

Customer: “NO! I come in here every time and I am always allowed to—”

Store Manager: “You come in here every time, I am always called down, and every time I tell you the same thing: We cannot do it. The next time you will not be told; you will be turned away.”

(The customer left. Next week he came back with the same problem. The manager came down to customer service immediately and told the customer he had to leave.)

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