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Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

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Unable To Register With Some Customers

| ID, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

My first day on the job, it is our grand opening. I had even helped build the store. I am standing at the register waiting for customers to arrive. For a grand opening it’s pretty slow.)

Trainer: “Okay, so the goal is to get people registered in our system, so always ask for a name, email, and phone number. It also helps them get the sales price on items. You may override the system but only in special circumstances.”

(A grumpy looking elderly man walks up to register. I already didn’t want to ask but I do because the trainer is there.)

Me: “Hello, sir, did you find everything okay?”

Customer: “Yeah, I guess so.”

Me: “Do you have a savings card with us yet?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Okay, well, would you like to get enrolled to get the sales price?”

Customer: “So, I won’t get the sales price without it?”

Me: “No. It doesn’t take very long. It’s just a phone number, and your name and email are optional.”

Customer: “I don’t want to give my information out; do you know where all this information goes?”

Me: “Uhm… no.” *thinking maybe he is worried about theft*

Customer: “The government. They use our numbers and emails in your system to monitor and track us down.”

(At this the point the trainer is very concerned and is still trying to convince the man to sign up.)

Trainer: “Sir, I assure you, we don’t give your information out to anyone.”

Customer: “YOU DON’T BELIEVE ME, BUT IT’S TRUE! THEY HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR ME AND THEY’RE WAITING IN A WHITE VAN TO GRAB ME!”

Trainer: *looks at me and sighs* “Just go ahead and override it.”

(This was my very FIRST customer.)

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PDF = Pretty Dumb Fail

, | Sacramento, CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology, Wild & Unruly

(My copy center normally just prints things for customers, but we also offer a word processing service for those without the equipment or ability to type many pages of text. One of my regulars, an elderly gentleman who barely knows how to access email from his PC, has asked me to type up several pages of text for a legal document. For this particular project, he asked that we create an editable PDF form so that he can reuse it for multiple different projects. His work is completed, emailed to him with instructions on how to save the file and use it, and he goes home. About an hour later, the phone rings.)

Customer: “Hello, [My Name]? This is [Customer] and the files you sent to me don’t work!”

Me: “Err, that’s strange, sir. We tested them while you were still here and they worked fine. What is it that’s happening, or not happening?”

Customer: “I don’t know! It just doesn’t work!”

Me: “Err… Is it that the blue boxes aren’t showing up for you to type in?”

Customer: “I don’t care about that; my tech guy says you can’t edit PDFs!”

Me: *sighs* “Sir, I assure you that the document allows you to type in custom information in the blue boxes. Do you see blue boxes?”

Customer: “I don’t care about blue boxes! I want you to fix this!”

Me: “Well, since I can’t see what’s going on with your document, and you are unable to tell me, I’m not sure what you want me to fix, sir. If your ‘tech guy’ is still there, maybe he can help you?”

Customer: “No, YOU made this document, so YOU need to fix the problem!”

Me: “Sir, it’s sounding to me like the problem is with your computer, or perhaps the version of Acrobat you’re using. Maybe if you could have your tech guy update Acrobat…”

Customer: “This is [Popular Email Client]!”

(From this, I surmise that he’s previewing the document from his email and hadn’t actually saved it to his PC. If that’s the case, it explains why the document isn’t editable. I try to explain this to the customer, and tell him we’re going to walk through the steps to save it to his desktop so that he can edit it. I go slowly, making sure to wait for him to confirm what I asked him to do before going on to the next step. Finally….)

Me: “All right, good. Once you save it, we can open it and see if th—”

Customer: *interrupts* “I TOLD YOU TO TELL ME HOW TO FIX THIS PROBLEM!”

Me: “Sir, this WILL fix the problem. Did you do ANY of the steps I just told you?”

Customer: “NO! I didn’t! I said you need to tell me how to fix the problem! I don’t want to hear any of that s***!”

Me: *sighs* “Well, then, sir, looks like you’re going to have to call your ‘tech guy’ over and have him figure it out for you. There’s nothing else I can do for you, since you don’t want to follow my instructions to fix the problem. Have a nice day.”

(The customer grumbled some threats about “If I have to come back down there…!” but hung up. Since I never heard back from him on that subject, I’m assuming his ‘tech guy’ got him all squared away!)

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What A Bunch Of Old (Hand)Bags

, | Northampton, England, UK | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

(I am serving on the till and currently dealing with a woman who has sat her child on the counter as she deals with her payment. Two ladies are behind her waiting.)

Customer In Line: *to me* “Should she really have her daughter sitting up there?”

Me: “Well, we don’t have any policy about this and her child is being very well behaved.”

Customer In Line: “Well, it’s very dirty and food is prepared here so I don’t think the child should be sitting there.”

(At this point I am shocked at the rudeness of the customer, speaking as if the mother was not there. The mother in question has kept quiet the entire time, counting out her change. I have no patience for rude customers so I speak up.)

Me: “Actually, food is not prepared here. Anything that sits on this counter is either wrapped, on a plate, or on a tray, so it does not come in direct contact with the surface. Plus people put their handbags on here all the time as well as their money, two incredibly dirty objects, anyway.”

(Both ladies behind the mother have their handbags on the counter.)

Customer In Line: *ignores me* “I just can’t believe you’d let a child sit up there. It’s so dirty! Food is prepared here!”

(At this point, the mother finally speaks up.)

Mother: “I’ll sit my child wherever I please.”

(She then paid and left with her child. I just wish I could have high-fived her for putting the other customer in her place!)

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We’re Closed Eight Ways From Sunday

| ME, USA | Crazy Requests, Time

(It’s Father’s Day. It’s been about 20 minutes since we’ve had new customers, and it being five minutes before we close, my manager gives the kitchen the OK to shut down. Not one minute after the kitchen has closed, a group of three walk in.)

Me: “I’m sorry folks, we just closed.”

Man: “But it’s Father’s Day!”

Me: “I know, and I’m sorry, but we close at eight on Sundays.”

(They start complaining about how it’s a special day for him and that we should serve them, when the man suddenly looks at me.)

Man: “But it’s not eight yet!”

Me: “It’s five minutes before…”

(They walk out grumbling.)

Manager: “If they wanted to make it such a special day for him, why couldn’t they get him a steak and cook it for him themselves?”

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You Can’t Control The Birds And The Bees

| USA | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

(I’m a supervisor at the water park. As I walk by Guest Relations I overhear a woman demanding corporate’s phone number and a copy of her complaint form. I head out to cover turnstiles. Shortly after the woman walks by.)

Woman: *loudly* “I’m going to social media with this! This is terrible customer service!”

Me: “What’s she upset about?”

Coworker: “She’s mad about the seagulls and bees. Things we literally have no control over.”

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