Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

Espresso: Katy Perry Edition

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(The beverage menu for the coffeehouse is extensive, about 75 pages. I’m taking an order from a trio of young looking kids.)

Me: “And for you, sir?”

Customer #1: “I’d like an iced espresso.”

Me: “Well, that’s not really an item. Is there anything else I could get you?”

Customer #1: “No, I want an iced espresso.”

Me: “We have lots of iced drinks and hot drinks, or if there was a specific way you wanted it prepared maybe that would help me serve you?”

Customer #1: “I don’t see why I can’t get an iced espresso.”

Me: *starting to lose my cool* “Well, I can bring you espresso and ice, but what you’re asking me to do is impossible.”

Customer #1: “What? How do you mean?”

Me: “You’re asking for both the hottest and coldest items on the menu. If I put ice in espresso, it’s going to melt and make you an Americano, which you said you don’t want. So because I cannot bend the laws of physics, I’m not going to bring you something you don’t want and set myself up for failure.”

Customer #1: *to [Customer #2]* “This is ridiculous.”

Customer #2: *gives me a sympathetic look, then urges [Customer #1] to order something else*

Me: *totally done with this as everyone else ordered and have told Customer #1 to stop being difficult* “I can bring you an actual Americano, or I could try bringing you ice and espresso so you can see for yourself, but I’m not bringing you an espresso with melting ice in it so you can tell me I’m wrong.”

(The customer ended up getting something COMPLETELY different, which made me wonder if he was “testing” me.)

Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 9

| MD, USA | Crazy Requests

(The customer has just finished giving me a large order over the phone.)

Customer: “Will that go out today?”

Me: “Everything is in stock, so I should get it out with today’s mail.”

Customer: “Will I have it by Thursday?”

Me: “Probably! Shipping to your area is usually two days. I’ll just need your credit card…”

Customer: “Oh, I’ll get that to you Friday or Saturday.”

Me: “Ok… You want me to hold the order until the end of the week?”

Customer: “Nah, send it out today, and I’ll get back to you with the payment after I get it.”

Me: “Sir, I’m afraid I’m not allowed to send out an order without payment.”

Customer: “But I need it by Thursday, but I don’t want to pay until the end of the week.”

Me: “I can’t send out two thousand dollars worth of merchandise without payment.”

Customer: “Well, that seems like a ridiculous policy.”

Related:
Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 8
Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 7
Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 6

She’s The Carrier

| UK | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

(In the UK we have implemented a 5p charge on carrier bags; this is to help reduce the number of carrier bags going into landfills. Our store had implemented this well before the other stores. If a customer came in for one item that was easy to carry or put in pocket/handbag, no carrier bag was offered, yet if they had sufficient items, you would offer a carrier bag but explain it would cost them 5p. A very posh looking woman enters the store, walks up the sweets aisle, picks up a small chocolate bar and comes over to my till.)

Me: “Hello, did you find everything you needed today?”

Customer: *said in a posh voice but also very belittling* “Yes, that will be all.”

Me: “Okay, that is [price], please.”

Customer: “Give me a carrier bag.”

Me: “Okay, but carrier bags are 5p now, what with our store’s initiatives to—”

Customer: *cuts me off* “I AM NOT PAYING FOR A CARRIER BAG!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but it’s just company policy—”

Customer: “I WILL NOT PAY FOR A CARRIER BAG! I HAVE ASKED YOU FOR ONE AND I WOULD LIKE A CARRIER BAG SUITABLE FOR MY PURCHASE!”

(A queue has built up now and I am beginning to lose my temper. Suddenly an idea pops in my head.)

Me: “One moment, please.”

(I walk out of my till, and walk over to the fruit and veg section nearby, pick up a small plastic bag that would be used to place small amounts of loose fruit or veg in. I walk back to the till and place the chocolate bar inside the bag and hand it to the customer.)

Me: “There we go. So, that was [price], please.”

Customer: “WHAT IS THAT?”

Me: “Well, it is a carrier bag suitable for the small nature of your product and will not cost you a penny extra on your [price], please.”

(The queue of people are making comments about how silly she has been, asking for a carrier bag for a chocolate bar and refusing to pay for a one.)

Customer: “I WANT TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER!”

(The manager is called down, and the story was told from both sides with other customers backing me up as she was accusing me of yelling and swearing. The customer was basically told the same thing that I was trying to say about the carrier bags. She admitted defeat but told my manager she wanted this logged as an official complaint against me. The manager pulled me to one side saying by company policy they are meant to give me a verbal warning but that they found it so funny that no such action would take place.)

Doesn’t Give A Truck, Part 6

| USA | Crazy Requests, Transportation

Customer: “Hey, my friend works for [Company I work for]. Can I get a discount?”

Me: “Ah, no, sir. Your friend would have to be the one making the rental.”

Customer: “Well, can you be my friend?”

Me: “That’s not how it works, sir.”

Customer: “No, really, let’s be friends! I’m [Customer]! What’s your name?”

Me: “I’m [My Name], and I think we should get back to—”

Customer: “Now, hold on, what’s your last name?”

Me: “I’m a [Company] employee, sir.”

Customer: “So they don’t have last names at [Company]?”

Me: “Sir, do you want to finish this reservation? I can’t give you a discount.”

Customer: “Well, that’s cold. What kind of friend are you?”

Related:
Doesn’t Give A Truck, Part 5
Doesn’t Give A Truck, Part 4
Doesn’t Give A Truck, Part 3

Departmental Or Just Mental?

| USA | Crazy Requests

(I answer phones as a receptionist at a college, transferring callers to the correct department.)

Caller: “Hello. May I please speak with the department?”

Me: “May I ask which department you need me to connect you with?”

Caller: “No, just the department.”

Me: “Ma’am, we have many departments. If you tell me what your call is about, I can transfer you to the correct one.”

Caller: “The one where I spoke with the lady the other day!”

Me: “Do you remember the name of the person you spoke with?”

Caller: “No. She was a lady, though.”

Me: “What did she help you with, ma’am?”

Caller: “I don’t remember. Can you please transfer me?”

(At this point, I just transferred the caller to one of our many departments that had a female worker. She called back multiple times before getting to the correct department. I was baffled!)

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