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Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

Experience Tells Me That You’re An Idiot

| IL, USA | Crazy Requests

Me: *answering the phone* “Hello, [Company]. This is [My name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Hello, [My Name]. Are you experienced enough to help me?”

Me: *having worked in this company for several years now* “I can certainly do my best. What can I do for you?”

(The customer proceeds to describe a sensitive issue that I immediately recognize is beyond my authority to address.)

Me: “Okay, you will need to speak with my manager. They will be able to address this issue with you and make sure that appropriate action is taken.”

Customer: “What is your manager’s name?”

Me: “Their name is [Manager].”

Customer: “And are you sure that they’ll be able to help me?”

Me: “Yes, I can assure you that they will be able to help you with this issue.”

Customer: “Well, put me through to them, then! This is why I asked if you were experienced in the first place!”

Me: “Of course. I’ll transfer you now.”

(I have to wonder how they expected me to know if I was “experienced” enough without knowing what the issue was in the first place!)

Only Five Minutes Away From Crazy

| UK | Crazy Requests, Time

(I am working on the phones first thing in the morning at a busy medical centre. About half of our appointments are bookable in advance and half are on the day only. I take the third call of the day.)

Me: “Hello, [Centre]. How can I help?”

Patient: “Hello, dearie, I would like to book an appointment with [Doctor] at about 10 am. Do you have anything?”

(I check the computer system.)

Me: “Yes, we have an appointment at 10, actually.”

Patient: “Oh, that’s a bit early. Have you got anything else around that time?”

Me: “Yes, we have 10:10 or 10:20.”

Patient: “Well, both of those are a bit late; do you have anything at five past?”

(All our appointments last ten minutes, so we never have appointments at five past.)

Me: “Sorry, ma’am, we don’t do appointments at five past.”

Patient: “Bloody NHS! I’ve paid taxes my whole life and you can’t even give me an appointment around 10 am!” *click*

I Physically Despair

| CA, USA | Crazy Requests

Me: “It appears you’re going to have to get your title notarized at a local bank for us to transfer that title out of your name.”

Customer: “You mean I have to do something physical outside of the house?”