Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!


I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 21

| Vidalia, GA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Popular

(I work for a small department store chain as a store manager. One night after closing my store, I head out to the local [Big Chain Store] to pick up some things, and I find myself heading in the direction of the pet department. As I near, a lady comes out and grabs my arm, stopping me.)

Woman: “I need help in pets, and there’s no one here.”

Me: “Probably someone over in toys. Just go ask them.”

Woman: “I need HELP.”

Me: “Then ask someone.”

Woman: “What’s your name?”

Me: “None of your business.”

(With that I walk off, leaving the lady fuming and angry. A bit later I am talking to a manager. As I’m doing this, I see the lady come out. She spots me and her face lights up full of anger.)

Woman: “I’m going to get you fired!”

(Turning to the manager she starts ranting on how she asked me for help, and various things, adding that I was rude, and she was going to call [Big Chain Store]’s help line if the manager didn’t fire me on the spot.)

Manager: “Uh… I can’t fire him.”

Woman: “Why the f*** not?” *starts dialing*

(I reach up to my company’s badge, pull it off and extend it in front of the lady’s face.)

Me: “Because I don’t work here. I, like you, am a customer. I’m not bound to help you, and you shouldn’t just assume that everyone in a shirt and tie is a manager.”

(The woman stares at the badge, and then looks to me, before looking back at the manager.)

Woman: “I’m still going to complain.”

Manager: “Yeah, see how well that works out for you. ‘Oh, yes, I was at [Big Chain Store] and asked a customer to help me, and they told me they wouldn’t help me. So I’m complaining about rude customers like myself.’”

(She caved at that point and sulked away.)

I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 20
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 19
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 18


Draining Training

| WI, USA | Crazy Requests

(We’re in the middle of a busy spurt of the day in the deli of a grocery store. At this time, there are only two deli clerks: a boy, who is still training, and me. The trainee lands himself a customer known to have an attitude problem and wants him to open a new ham and block of cheese to slice. I am helping other customers as they come.)

Me: “Who was next?”

Bad Customer: “This is taking forever! I’ll have some potato salad!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we’re not supposed to double up on a guest; I need to help other customers first.”

(I return to helping others after apologizing and offering her a free sample of our dessert, as the trainee emerges from the cooler with the items in tow. He begins to slice her two pounds after she repeatedly reminds him to lay the ham flat. Two minutes then pass.)

Bad Customer: “He’s taking such a long time! How hard is it to slice some d*** cheese and ham?!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but he’s still in training, and it probably took him a minute to find them.”

Bad Customer: “I’m in a hurry! I want an experienced worker!”

(I’m barely out of training myself, but I inform the trainee that I was going to take over and for him to take care of other customers. He thanks me and rushes off. I begin to slice her ham and cheese, after she informs me twice that she wants them flat.)

Me: “Here you go, ma’am. Was there anything else tonight?”

Bad Customer: “No, thank you. But you should inform your manager that trainees shouldn’t be out here where customers are busy and want to go home. I only want experienced workers helping me!”

(I’m still not sure how you can be experienced if you’re not trained.)


Time To Face The Customer

| USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

Patron: “Where’s the bathroom?”

Coworker: *points to area behind patron* “Oh, it’s over there on the right.”

Patron: “Thank you.” *leaves*

(Patron comes back a minute later, angry.)

Patron: “I thought you said the bathroom was on the right!?”

Coworker: “It is.”

Patron: “No, it’s not! I was facing you, so that means the bathroom was on my left!”

Coworker: *stunned*


Objectionable And Uninterruptable

| Manhattan, NY, USA | Books & Reading, Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal, Popular

(An irate customer has found a book she objects to and is complaining to the cashier. Another customer in a suit and tie is quietly browsing books in the back.)

Irate Customer: “Hey. Hey. Hey, you. Why do you stock this filth?”

Cashier: “I, uh…”

Irate Customer: “No. Listen to me. Get rid of this. It’s wrong. Okay? It’s wrong.”

Cashier: “We just have what people want to–”

Irate Customer: “NO. It’s your job to be a gatekeeper. You protect your customers. Take this off your shelves.”

Cashier: “I don’t choose what to stock. I–”

Irate Customer: “Fine. Manager. Where’s the manager?”

Cashier: “Wait, he’s—”

(The irate customer has already sighted the suited customer and zeroed in on him.)

Irate Customer: “Hey. Hey, you. You can’t have this in your bookstore.”

Suited Customer: “I don’t–”

Irate Customer: “Yes. Yes, you do. It’s right here.”

Suited Customer: “But I’m–”

Irate Customer: “You’ve also got [list of other objectionable books]. You have a duty.”

Suited Customer: “But I–”

Irate Customer: “Don’t give me that free speech garbage. You have a duty. A moral duty. Above the law.”

(As the angry customer keeps ranting, the suited customer wordlessly takes something out of his pocket and shows her. She lets out an ‘Oh!’ and hurries out of the store.)

Cashier: “What was that?”

Suited Customer: “FBI badge. Just in time for ‘above the law,’ too.”

Cashier: “Uh, she didn’t pay for her copy of [Objectionable Book].”


Read Write Error

, | Eindhoven, The Netherlands | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work in IT in the Netherlands. An end-user files a complaint.)

End-User: “My PC won’t start. Just gives me an error message.”

Me: “Okay, which one of the 100,000 errors do you get?”

End-User: “I don’t know.”

Me: “It isn’t written in Arabic or old-Mesopotamian, so what does the error message say?”

End-User: “It’s a bunch of white characters on a black background.”

Me: “And what does it say?”

End-User: “I don’t know. I don’t know how to read this.”

Me: “So you’re telling me that you don’t know how to read?”

End-User: “YES. Come and fix it.”

(The end-user is a teacher.)

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