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Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

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This Is A Shopping Emergency!

| MI, USA | Crazy Requests

(I have just made a call to emergency services for a resident who is in a dire state. They respond in record time as I’ve called in ‘stat,’ meaning the person isn’t breathing or their heart isn’t functioning. The fire truck arrives first and parks in the middle of our parking lot, first responders leaping out and coming inside. I direct them where to go. A minute later, a woman leaves out the door after visiting her mother and then comes directly back in.)

Me: “Hello again, is something wrong?”

Woman: *angrily* “Yes, I can’t move my car! That truck is in the way!”

Me: “I’m sorry… the fire truck?”

Woman: “Yes, the fire truck! I have to get going! Can you have someone move it?!”

Me: “Umm, no? They’re upstairs dealing with a medical emergency. I can have someone come out and try to direct you out of the space.”

Woman: “Fine, just hurry up!”

(I get another staff member to go outside and try to direct her out, all the while fielding calls from the bosses about the emergency. The woman and my coworker come back in.)

Coworker: “There’s not enough room. You’ll have to wait, I’m sorry.”

Woman: “But I have to get going! I HAVE TO GO SHOPPING!”

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Better ‘Watch’ Out

| LA, USA | Crazy Requests, Time

(A woman comes up to the in window.)

Customer: “I’d like to get these filled, please.”

(We are going to close soon, but we aren’t very busy and she’s getting an important medication, so I can get it ready for her if she needs it tonight.)

Me: “Sure thing. Did you want to get this tonight or come back tomorrow?”

Customer: “Oh, I need it tonight. When will it be done?”

Me: “Well, we close at six, so before then!”

Customer: “Oh, you can’t get it ready any sooner…?”

Me: “Uh… It’s 5:45 right now.”

Customer: *in a snippy tone* “Well, how was I supposed to know?! I’m not wearing a watch!”

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Dutifully Confused

| MN, USA | Crazy Requests

(I work at a grocery store chain near my house. On this particular day I’m off but have stopped in to grab some snack items. While I’m loading my cart up with chips, soda, and other good stuff one of our regular customers comes up to me.)

Customer: “Hey, don’t you work here?”

Me: “I do, but I’m off duty today. I just need some munchies for a party I’m hosting.”

Customer: “You know you really should be helping folk if you work here.”

Me: “Erm… yes, but as I said I’m not working today. Today is my day off.”

Customer: “You work here, and you’re not doing anything right now. Put the cart down and help me find some stuff on my list or I’m reporting you to your manager!”

Me: “Before I do that sir, can I ask you a question?”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “Where do you work?”

Customer: “Huh? At [Nearby Business Firm].”

Me: “So what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at your job?”

Customer: “What? It’s Saturday! I don’t work today!”

Me: “Well, neither do I.”

(The customer stares at me dumbfounded.)

Customer: “But… but… you’re here! You can’t be here if you aren’t working! That confuses people!”

(It took another ten minutes of explaining that yes, retail workers get days off and are allowed to still make use of their place of business before he finally went off to find one of my coworkers.)

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Can’t Predict The Cards

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Crazy Requests

(We recently got a whole new computer system installed in our store, complete with new machines for customers’ cards; as it’s now done differently, our manager has asked us to talk all customers through the new system for the first week.)

Me: “Will you be paying by cash or card today?”

Customer: “Card.”

Me: “Just to let you know we have a new system now, and how it works—”

Customer: “I’m not a f****** moron! I know how these things work!”

Me: “If you need any help then let me know and I’ll talk you through it.”

Customer: “Are you f****** deaf?! I know how to do it!”

(I just sit back and watch her for several minutes trying to figure out the new system. The old system let customers type in any cash out they would like before swiping their cards; the new system will not do anything until the card has been swiped.)

Customer: “Your f****** machine is broken!”

Me: “It isn’t broken; it’s a new system. Things are done in a different order now.”

Customer: “Why didn’t you tell me that?”

Me: “With respect, ma’am, you told me not to talk you through it.”

Customer: “Well, you should have known that I would be stuck!”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t have psychic abilities that allow me to read minds or predict the future!”

Customer: “Well, you should! They shouldn’t hire you if you can’t make accurate predictions!”

(After all that she paid for her purchases by allowing me to talk her through the new system!)

Customer: “You have lost a very good customer! I’m never coming back here again!”

(The very next day the customer came in again.)

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Let That Entitlement Slide Into The Bus Lane

| OH, USA | Crazy Requests, Transportation

(A customer comes to the customer service desk.)

Customer: “You! Are you the manager here?”

Manager: “I am.”

(The customer slams down a written statement on the counter.)

Customer: “I have a complaint to make about one of your employees. A disgusting little b****, she is!”

(My manager picks up the statement and reads through it thoughtfully. He looks over the rim of his glasses at the customer in disbelief as he finishes.)

Manager: “So… you were waiting at the bus stop and saw [Employee] drive past you to the store. You tried to flag her down and she didn’t stop?”

Customer: “Yes! I never felt so disrespected!”

Manager: “Erm… do you know [Employee] personally?”

Customer: “What? No, of course not.”

Manager: “Was she meant to be picking you up?”

Customer: “No, but she works here! And I spend a lot of money here!”

Manager: “Meaning what? She’s supposed to stop and give you a ride?”

Customer: “Yes!”

(By this point I’m now gaping in shock from where I’m trying to sort through lottery tickets and scratch cards.)

Manager: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but that’s not how it works. We appreciate that you spend so much here but that does not entitle you to treat employees like they’re a taxi service.”

(My manager then proceeds to rip up the customer’s statement and throws it in the trash can. The customer now gapes and silently flaps her mouth.)

Customer: “But… you… I’M TELLING YOUR CORPORATE OFFICE ABOUT THIS, YOU B******!”

(She storms out while my manager sighs in relief.)

Manager: “Whatever the fallout from that may be, it was totally worth it. There’s only so much entitlement I’m willing to let slide!”

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