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Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

About To Get Charged With Battery, Part 6

| Pasadena, MD, USA | Crazy Requests

(A customer comes up to my register with store brand mid-grade car battery.)

Customer: “This battery is no good. Can I upgrade to [high quality battery]?”

Me: “Sure thing. Let me grab that for you.” *I set up the exchange, and ring up to new battery* “All right, since you are moving up in batteries there is a price difference. Your total comes to $11.53.”

Customer: “Why? It should be free, because the old one was bad.”

Me: “Well, sir, if you want a free battery then we can do a defective exchange and you can have to the same battery that you already have… or you can pay the $12 and upgrade, but since you have made it clear that you wish to have the better product then I’m afraid you have to pay the 12 bucks. It’s just like going to a car dealership. They won’t just give you a BMW because the Toyota they sold you broke down.” *customer sulkily pays and leaves*

Related:
About To Get Charged With Battery, Part 5
About To Get Charged With Battery, Part 4
About To Get Charged With Battery, Part 3

Totally Checked Out

| GA, USA | Crazy Requests, Money

(I am working on the customer service desk; we cash payroll and tax return type checks. The phone rings.)

Me: “Customer service, how may I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I just got my state tax refund check. How much do y’all charge to cash checks?”

Me: “It’s $3 up to $1,000; after that it’s $6.”

Customer: “Oh, well, see, my check is only $4… How much do you charge for that?”

Me: “It’s still a $3 fee. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “Can I give you the $3 in cash, so it doesn’t come out of my check?”

Me: “Uh… it’s… gonna automatically take it out. You’re probably going to be better off finding a bank to cash it.”

Customer: *huff* “Fine.”

The Maine Reason For Coming

| San Rafael, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Books & Reading, Crazy Requests

(As a smaller bookstore, we do not have many books on hand and encourage people to call our store number to see if we have the book they desire. When we do have the book, we hold it behind the register for them until they come in; when we don’t happen to have the book, most people are very forgiving and understanding.)

Woman: “Hi, do you have any travel books on Maine?”

Me: “Let’s take a look!”

(I walk her over to our travel section. Unfortunately, there are no books on Maine. I try to make my disappointment obvious the customer.)

Me: “Darn. I’m really sorry, but we don’t seem to have any books on Maine!”

Woman: “Well. That’s really too bad.”

(I walk back toward the register with her.)

Me: “No, really, I am very sorry. I know how frustrating it can be to come in and see that we don’t have a book.”

Woman: “Well, I drove down here, put money in the meter, and walked in here, only to find out that you don’t have what I’m looking for.”

Me: “Ma’am, as I said, I really am truly sorry.”

(The woman proceeds to repeat how inconvenienced she’s been because she paid for a parking meter and storms off. My manager walks up to me.)

Manager: “What was that all about?”

Me: *after explaining* “Let’s just say she wasn’t thrilled about paying for parking.”

Must Be A Poultrinarian

| Gold Coast, QLD, Australia | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I overhear this in a buffet style restaurant in a popular theme park:)

Customer: “Is this vegetarian?”

(There is a sign clearly marking to dish as chicken.)

Waiter: “No, ma’am, it’s chicken.”

Customer: “I KNOW IT’S CHICKEN! I WANT TO KNOW IF IT IS VEGETARIAN! YOU ARE SO RUDE!” *moves on to next dish* “Is this vegetarian?”

Waiter: “No, ma’am, that’s chicken, too.”

Doesn’t Meet Their Egg-spectations

| Long Island, NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(A friend and I go boating one weekend with our wives and decide to stop at a diner for breakfast. My friend’s wife is looking over the menu and is having a hard time deciding what to get.)

Friend’s Wife: *to the waitress* “Can I make my own omelet? I mean, can I get one with whatever I want?”

Waitress: “Oh absolutely! Tell me what you want and we’ll make it up for you.”

Friend’s Wife: “Okay, great. I’ll have the Super, Premium, Deluxe omelet but take out the bacon, take out the sausage, take out the peppers, take out the onions, take out the mushrooms and take out the cheddar cheese. Put in some steak and American cheese.”

Waitress: *with an exasperated look* “So you want an omelet with steak and American cheese?”

Friend’s Wife: “Yes! Oh, and throw some ham in there, too.”

(A little bit later we get our food and my friend’s wife, immediately starts picking all the ham out and puts it to the side. She then just picks at the omelet but never eats any of it. The waitress stops by to check up on us.)

Waitress: “Is everything all right? Is there something wrong with the omelet?”

Friend’s Wife: “Oh, no. I just don’t like eggs.”

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