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Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

Lack Of Register Does Not Register, Part 6

| CA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Time

(At my store, the place you punch in is at the registers. However, the storage for the employee’s items is in the back. You need to go to the back to put your items in before punching in. I have just clocked in and am going up to my supervisor to see what register I’m on and what duties I have. Before I get to her, I’m stopped by a customer.)

Customer: “Are you an employee?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Why aren’t you at a register?”

Me: “I just clocked in two seconds ago. I’m going to—”

Customer: “Well, I saw you walking past. Why weren’t you on the register?”

Me: “I’m sorry. It’s store policy for the employees to put their things in the back before clocking in.”

Customer: “Have you seen this line? I want your manager. There need to be more employees on the register. What I want to know is why you aren’t on a register now.”

Me: “Because I’m busy talking to you.”

(In the time it took for her to complain, I could have gotten on my register and checked her out.)

Related:
Lack of Register Does Not Register, Part 5
Lack of Register Does Not Register, Part 4
Lack of Register Does Not Register, Part 3

In Line And Out Of Line, Part 9

| Chicago, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

(I’ve just started scanning a customer’s purchases, which are coming at me on a belt from the left, when an older woman approaches me from the right – the bagging area.)

Woman: *holding newspaper and money* “I just want a paper.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I’ve already begun scanning this customer’s purchases. I can’t ring you up until this transaction is complete.”

Woman: *twitches her offerings at me* “But I just want the newspaper! Can’t you scan it quick?”

Me: “No, ma’am. I’ve already begun this person’s transaction and cannot start a new one now. If you step behind her in line, I can ring up your purchase next.”

Woman: *grumbling and stepping into line* “Well, SOME stores let you just do it quick…”

(She keeps mumbling to herself as I scan the first woman’s items, and addresses me a few seconds later:)

Woman: “It’s true, some stores WILL just do it quick…”

Me: “Ma’am, as I’ve already explained, I cannot void an ongoing transaction. This customer was here before you, and I had already started when you walked up.”

Woman: *points rudely at customer I’m still ringing up* “So what you’re telling me is that if I had gotten here before her, you would have rang me up first?”

Me: *still cool as a cucumber* “Yes, ma’am. That’s generally how lines work.”

(She was dead silent as I rang up her paper, and left without her receipt. I’m glad I could provide her with such an important teaching moment, as she seems to have missed when it was given in kindergarten!)

Related:
In Line And Out Of Line, Part 8
In Line And Out Of Line, Part 7
In Line And Out Of Line, Part 6

Tip Of The Stupidity Iceberg

| CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(My sister and I are waiting to order coffee, and there is a high school cheerleader in front of us talking to the barista.)

Cheerleader: “So, um, like, you know the iced coffee? Can you make it… like… hot?”

Barista: “…What?”

Cheerleader: “You know, the iced coffee with caramel? Can you make it hot?”

(By this point, I am looking at my sister in disbelief.)

Barista: “Well, um, yeah, we can make you a regular hot coffee with a pump of caramel.”

Cheerleader: “…oh…”

(She discusses this for a little bit more before simply ordering the iced coffee. It takes everything in me not to laugh at the poor girl. She seemed sweet, but that’s not defying stereotypes!)

Will Not Lie Down On This Job

| CO, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal

Caller: “Do you do polygraphs for infidelity problems?”

Me: “Yes.”

Caller: “Do you charge money for them?”

Me: “Yes.”

(I can already see where this is going, but I remain professional.)

Caller: “Uhm, do you do the kind, where, uh…”

Me: “Maybe it would help if you could explain the situation to me.”

Caller: “Well… my brother’s wife wants him to take a polygraph for cheating on her and he knows he would fail. Do you do the ones where you just write up something and what do you charge?”

Me: “No, sir! That would be…”

Caller: “Illegal? They do ’em in Texas.”

Me: “Well, we don’t do ‘that kind’ and no polygrapher with professional standards would. It would be unethical.”

Caller: “But not illegal… right?”

Picture Perfect Response

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Crazy Requests, Money

(I am a claims adjuster in motor vehicle damage. I’m talking to a claimant who is trying to get me to pay for their damage without pictures to go with the estimate of the repairs.)

Claimant: “I don’t understand why you haven’t paid me yet. I sent you an estimate!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, but I also requested that you get pictures of the damage. I offered to send someone out to take pictures and write up the damage but you told me you’d take care of that yourself. I can’t pay anything out on this claim until I have images of the damage.”

Claimant: “Ohhhhh. So you’re gonna play that game.”

Me: “…The one where we require that you provide documentation of damages before we write you a check?”

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