Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

Barking Orders

| Cape Town, South Africa | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals, Popular

(I am a customer at a supermarket. I watch this scene unfold at the checkout. It’s extremely busy and there are long lines at all the checkouts. The customer in front of me is a middle-aged woman.)

Customer: “Please, please hurry! You’re so slow. I’ve left my dog in my car, and it’s so terribly hot.”

(It’s actually a cool, cloudy day. As the employee scans the large number of items in her trolley as fast as she possibly can, the customer keeps muttering about her dog and how slow she is.)

Customer: “Wait! Isn’t there a discount on this item? It’s showing [amount] on the display, but there’s supposed to be a special offer of [amount] off.”

Employee: “Yes, ma’am, if you just look at the line below:” *indicating the display*

Customer: *ignoring her* “No, you’re wrong. I’ll prove it! Wait a minute.”

(She rushes off into the supermarket, leaving the whole line standing and waiting. She’s gone a long time, and everyone is showing signs of impatience. Eventually she comes back carrying the price tag and special offer notice that she’s ripped off the shelf.)

Customer: “You see! There’s supposed to be a discount of [amount].”

Employee: “Yes, ma’am. There’s the discount correctly shown on the line below the item.” *she shows her on the display*

(After much peering she reluctantly agrees.)

Customer: “Wait! Here’s my loyalty card. Oh, my poor dog! He’s waiting for me in that hot car.”

(She fishes around in her purse for some time before producing her loyalty card.)

Customer: *repacking a bag* “No, don’t put that in this bag.” *she fusses around, transferring items from one bag to another*

Employee: “Your total is [amount].”

(She spends some time looking slowly through her wallet before she produces a credit card.)

Customer: “And I’d like [amount] cash back, please.”

(The employee processes the transaction and hands her her cash back. With a look of relief, the employee turns to me, next in line.)

Customer: “Wait! You gave me all hundreds. Can you please give me two fifties instead of this hundred? I need some change.”

Employee: “I’ve already closed the drawer ma’am. You’ll have to wait until it opens for the next transaction.”

Customer: “You’re so slow and inefficient. Don’t you know that I have a dog waiting in my hot car?”

Customer Behind Me: *coming forward* “Here, I’ve got change for you.”

(He handed her two fifties for her hundred and she finally left, still muttering about the dog in the hot car. I quickly finished checking out, and walked out into the parking lot. I walked past the customer, busy putting her bags into her car. There was no dog in the car.)

Kindness Is The Missing Seasoning

| CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Popular

Customer: “I want a burger with nothing on it.”

Me: “Nothing? No sauce at all?”

Customer: “No, nothing at all on the burger, but –” *counts the words out on her fingers* “ — the meat and the bun.” *kind of smug* “Got that?”

Me: “Okay, I’ll let the cook know.”

(I move over and let the cook know the woman only wants meat. It isn’t an odd order, actually a really easy one. It gets finished fast so I get it right out to the women. She sits down and proceeds to look inside her burger as I clean up, but suddenly she back at the counter.)

Customer: “What is all this black stuff on the meat?”

Me: *taking a moment to process* “Oh, isn’t that seasoning?”

Manager: *who has approached to look too* “Yes, that is the seasoning we put on meat when we cook it.”

Customer: *now getting angry* “I told her I wanted NOTHING on my burger!”

Manager: “We can make one without seasoning but—”

Customer: *cuts him off* “I want a new burger! And I want it done right with nothing on it!”

(I raise my brows and look at the cook as my manager tries to get in that without seasoning the meat will be flavorless, but she won’t listen. She even moves close to the door of the restaurant where she can see back by the grill and watch the cook. And when I hand her the burger she unwraps it in front of me and my manager, smirking to herself when she finds no seasoning, and rolling her eyes at us for not “getting it right” the first time.)

Manager: *to me* “If she comes back up here, she’s not getting a new one.”

(The manager goes over to tell the cook as well, before standing back from the counter with his arms crossed and waits. Sure enough the women comes back up to complain about her flavorless burger being *drum roll* FLAVORLESS!)

Customer: “Can you redo this? It doesn’t taste… like anything. Like, cook it with the seasonings?”

Cook: “It’s already cooked. It gets the flavor while cooked with the seasonings.”

Customer: “Can you sprinkle some of the flavoring on?”

(The cook does so, but now it clearly just tastes like flavorless meat with peppercorns and spices sitting on top of it.)

Customer: “I want a new burger! This is disgusting!”

Manager: *moves back up to the counter* “We made two burgers for you now and you’ve been rude to my associates. YOU messed up. You can leave if you don’t wanna pay for your next burger. I don’t care!”

(The customer looks at all of us.)

Customer: “Can I get a chicken sandwich to replace it instead?”

The Number One Way To Travel

| USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

(I work customer service via email for a large ticketing company, usually dealing with disabled customers in need of specialty seating.)

Customer: “I need an aisle seat for my husband.”

Me: “I’m sorry; we’re out of aisle seats for that event. Is there another way we could accommodate him?”

Customer: “Well, he can walk okay, but he has a bladder problem so he has to pee frequently. I just wanted an aisle seat so he could get in and out quickly. But I guess he could wear a poncho and pee under it at his seat into a mayo jar. You know, like on an airplane?”

Me: “…Um. Well… wait. LIKE ON AN AIRPLANE?!”

Caught In Her World Wide Web

, | Sacramento, CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology

(I’m a supervisor at a retail office supply company that sells web hosting packages to the public. One of the perks of purchasing through our store and not direct from the web host is that the packages come with a setup feature that allows users who don’t know code to click and drag elements onto their page and create a professional looking site.)

Customer: “I want your deluxe web hosting package.”

Coworker: “That’ll be [total], and here’s a print out telling you how you can get started setting up your website at home! If you have any questions, just call the web host’s customer service number and they’ll be happy to help.”

(The client pays for his purchase, then stands at the register and stares at my coworker.)

Coworker: “Was there something else?”

Customer: “Well, obviously. I need to know when you’re going to design my site for me!”

Me: “Sir, those packages are designed so that customers can set everything up from home. That’s what makes them different from a lot of other companies who sell web hosting packages. You don’t need to know any code to set your site up. It’s really very easy and the web host’s customer service agents can help you if you get stuck!”

(The customer becomes angry.)

Customer: “You didn’t tell me I had to do it myself! I paid for a website package! You should set it up FOR me!”

Me: “Sir, what you paid for was the web domain, a custom email, and space on the Internet to display your information about your company. We’re just [Store] employees; we aren’t web designers.”

Customer: “Unacceptable! You can’t just sell website packages to people and expect them to do it themselves!”

(This continues in a similar fashion for several minutes, while my co-worker tries to explain the whole idea of the web host’s package and how it’s user-friendly, even for people without any experience with HTML or CSS. Eventually, I make a decision.)

Me: “Look, we generally aren’t supposed to do this, but we’ll make an exception this time. My associates will help you set up the site, but it costs an additional fee for every half hour they spend working on the site setup.”

(Thankfully we had a miscellaneous $29.99 UPC which we were permitted to use for generic computer repairs at the tech repair desk. This customer ended up paying roughly $1 USD per minute for something he could have easily done himself!)

A Tale Of Two Cities

| Madison, WI, USA | Crazy Requests, Geography

(I am delivering to an address which seemed like it was out of our range. I get to the business and go upstairs. A lady helps me to the unmarked room of the woman who has ordered. I knock on the door…)

Woman: “Oh! You’re here. I didn’t even get a phone call. You know, the new guy you have there doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

Me: “Oh?”

Woman: “He said I was in a different city.”

(Since she was out of our range, he recommended that she call the store that was in range. It happened to technically be in a different city.)

Me: “Well, I believe this store is a little out of our range.”

Woman: “Well, you figured out how to get here. It wasn’t that far, was it?”

(She digs around in her purse… babbling on as she does so.)

Me: “That will be $6.11.”

(She’s holding on to $7.00, but still wants to find the coins. She finds a quarter and starts handing me the money. She then realizes her “error” and takes back a dollar leaving me a whopping 14-cent tip!)

Me: “Would you like change for that?” *okay, so I had to be a bit of an a**-hole*

Woman: “No, you can keep it.”

(I’m gonna put the 14 cents in my piggy bank and someday I may be able to afford a gumball…)