Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!


Better ‘Watch’ Out

| LA, USA | Crazy Requests, Time

(A woman comes up to the in window.)

Customer: “I’d like to get these filled, please.”

(We are going to close soon, but we aren’t very busy and she’s getting an important medication, so I can get it ready for her if she needs it tonight.)

Me: “Sure thing. Did you want to get this tonight or come back tomorrow?”

Customer: “Oh, I need it tonight. When will it be done?”

Me: “Well, we close at six, so before then!”

Customer: “Oh, you can’t get it ready any sooner…?”

Me: “Uh… It’s 5:45 right now.”

Customer: *in a snippy tone* “Well, how was I supposed to know?! I’m not wearing a watch!”


Dutifully Confused

| MN, USA | Crazy Requests

(I work at a grocery store chain near my house. On this particular day I’m off but have stopped in to grab some snack items. While I’m loading my cart up with chips, soda, and other good stuff one of our regular customers comes up to me.)

Customer: “Hey, don’t you work here?”

Me: “I do, but I’m off duty today. I just need some munchies for a party I’m hosting.”

Customer: “You know you really should be helping folk if you work here.”

Me: “Erm… yes, but as I said I’m not working today. Today is my day off.”

Customer: “You work here, and you’re not doing anything right now. Put the cart down and help me find some stuff on my list or I’m reporting you to your manager!”

Me: “Before I do that sir, can I ask you a question?”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “Where do you work?”

Customer: “Huh? At [Nearby Business Firm].”

Me: “So what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at your job?”

Customer: “What? It’s Saturday! I don’t work today!”

Me: “Well, neither do I.”

(The customer stares at me dumbfounded.)

Customer: “But… but… you’re here! You can’t be here if you aren’t working! That confuses people!”

(It took another ten minutes of explaining that yes, retail workers get days off and are allowed to still make use of their place of business before he finally went off to find one of my coworkers.)


Can’t Predict The Cards

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Crazy Requests

(We recently got a whole new computer system installed in our store, complete with new machines for customers’ cards; as it’s now done differently, our manager has asked us to talk all customers through the new system for the first week.)

Me: “Will you be paying by cash or card today?”

Customer: “Card.”

Me: “Just to let you know we have a new system now, and how it works—”

Customer: “I’m not a f****** moron! I know how these things work!”

Me: “If you need any help then let me know and I’ll talk you through it.”

Customer: “Are you f****** deaf?! I know how to do it!”

(I just sit back and watch her for several minutes trying to figure out the new system. The old system let customers type in any cash out they would like before swiping their cards; the new system will not do anything until the card has been swiped.)

Customer: “Your f****** machine is broken!”

Me: “It isn’t broken; it’s a new system. Things are done in a different order now.”

Customer: “Why didn’t you tell me that?”

Me: “With respect, ma’am, you told me not to talk you through it.”

Customer: “Well, you should have known that I would be stuck!”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t have psychic abilities that allow me to read minds or predict the future!”

Customer: “Well, you should! They shouldn’t hire you if you can’t make accurate predictions!”

(After all that she paid for her purchases by allowing me to talk her through the new system!)

Customer: “You have lost a very good customer! I’m never coming back here again!”

(The very next day the customer came in again.)


Let That Entitlement Slide Into The Bus Lane

| OH, USA | Crazy Requests, Transportation

(A customer comes to the customer service desk.)

Customer: “You! Are you the manager here?”

Manager: “I am.”

(The customer slams down a written statement on the counter.)

Customer: “I have a complaint to make about one of your employees. A disgusting little b****, she is!”

(My manager picks up the statement and reads through it thoughtfully. He looks over the rim of his glasses at the customer in disbelief as he finishes.)

Manager: “So… you were waiting at the bus stop and saw [Employee] drive past you to the store. You tried to flag her down and she didn’t stop?”

Customer: “Yes! I never felt so disrespected!”

Manager: “Erm… do you know [Employee] personally?”

Customer: “What? No, of course not.”

Manager: “Was she meant to be picking you up?”

Customer: “No, but she works here! And I spend a lot of money here!”

Manager: “Meaning what? She’s supposed to stop and give you a ride?”

Customer: “Yes!”

(By this point I’m now gaping in shock from where I’m trying to sort through lottery tickets and scratch cards.)

Manager: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but that’s not how it works. We appreciate that you spend so much here but that does not entitle you to treat employees like they’re a taxi service.”

(My manager then proceeds to rip up the customer’s statement and throws it in the trash can. The customer now gapes and silently flaps her mouth.)


(She storms out while my manager sighs in relief.)

Manager: “Whatever the fallout from that may be, it was totally worth it. There’s only so much entitlement I’m willing to let slide!”


Coffee Is Brewing And So Is Trouble

| Tampa, FL, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I am a customer standing in line behind an elderly couple while they place their order with the cashier. I’m already quite annoyed since the lady held up a line of people outside in the tropical storm so she could stand in the doorway and shake off her umbrella until she was satisfied it was dry enough. Then, the man held up the line while he tried to decide what he wanted, but refused to lose “his place” in line. Finally…)

Cashier: “Okay, Mr. [Customer], your total is [amount]. Will that be for here or to-go?”

Husband: “For here! Always for here! Here is all we get!”

Wife: *pacing the counter over and over* “Where is the coffee? Why is there NO coffee for us?”

Cashier: “It’s brewing, ma’am. The customers before you took the last of it. I will be glad to bring it to your table once it’s ready. It won’t be long.”

(The cashier turns around to start toasting their bread and getting things ready for them.)

Husband: *leans over the counter* “Let me see the bread slices.”

Cashier: *holds up the slices* “Are these okay?”

Husband: “Let me see the other side!”

Cashier: *still holding them up, she turns the slices around for him to inspect the other side, still smiling*

Husband: “That is NOT toasted! Run them through again!”

Cashier: “I assure you, sir, they will be crispy. Our toasters are designed to not burn the bread, but they are toas—”

Husband: “AGAIN!”

Cashier: “Of course! I just want to make sure you understand they could get burnt if they go through again. It’s a set time; I can’t take them out sooner.”

(The husband grumbles and the cashier places the slices back in the toaster, giving the rest of us a “Sorry” look.)

Wife: *still pacing the counter* “They don’t have ANY coffee! No decaf, nothing! I can’t believe this. They know we come here; it should always be ready.” *she grabs a young male cashier that’s mopping nearby* “Young man, is that coffee brewing? We ARE waiting, you know.”

Cashier #2: “Yes, ma’am! It’s nearly done.” *walks off to the back as quickly as he can*

Cashier: *hold up the toast slices* “I’m sorry, they’re a bit black now, is this okay?”

Husband: “Fine. They’ll do. Next time don’t burn them, just toast them! Where is the coffee? My wife wants her coffee. You know we come here. Only here!”

Customer Behind Me: “Heaven help them, then…”

Wife: “This is ridiculous. Everyone is being so rude.” *yelling across the cafe at another worker that is wiping down counters* “HEY! [CASHIER #3]! HELLLOOOO? [CASHIER #3]! HELLLOOOO!”

(Cashier #3, a young girl, closes her eyes and lets out a sigh before turning to them, smiling.)

Cashier #3: “Hello Mr. and Mrs. [Customer]! That coffee will be right out, I promise you. I just checked on it.” *walks in the back as quick as she can, while the original cashier gives her a look of desperation*

Wife: “GOOD! At least [Cashier #3] is doing her job today! She’s our favorite. The only one we like.”

Cashier: *places the toast and their creamers on a plate and holds them out to the husband* “All set! I’ll go check on the coffee for you and bring it right out! Okay? It should be done.”

Husband: “TWO plates! ALWAYS TWO plates!”

Cashier: *still smiling and pleasant while she splits the toast and creamers evenly on two plates* “Of course, sir. I forgot. Please have a seat and I’ll—”

Wife: “We will wait RIGHT here! Do you understand me? It makes you work faster if we wait, you know. You guys are so lazy! Is the coffee done YET?!”

(I have FINALLY had enough, I’ve been in line so long that I’ve dried off from the heavy rain and need to get to work.)

Me: “NO! You will not! These people have done everything and more to give you great service! You need to get out of my way so I can order my food and get to work. This is enough already! MOVE! Right now! I mean it!”

Customer Behind Me: “Absolutely! I agree! Or I’ll move you myself, understand? You have done nothing but abuse these people! I’m SICK of it and I’m SICK of you!”

Cashier: “I’m so sorr—”

Me: “No, please don’t apologize to anyone in here. You have done nothing to be sorry for.”

Wife: “You people are SO RUDE! We are just trying to get our food and they’re so lazy! They didn’t even make our coffee!”

Customer Behind Me: “Shut up, you witch! MOVE. You have exactly five seconds before I do it myself. One… Two…”

(The couples eyes go wide and they both FINALLY shuffle out of the way all while grumbling about being cut in line and demanding their coffee.)

Cashier #3: “Can we come out now? Is it safe? I am SO switching my shift to nights! They know my NAME now!”

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