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Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

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Protect From Rain But Not From Thieves

| PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal

(After a recent renovation, the break room where staff leaves their belongings in the store I manage is visible to customers shopping. I’ve been pushing to have a door put up, but my district manager told me it’s unnecessary. She is visiting one day, during a huge rain shower.)

Customer: *gesturing towards the break room* “How much for that umbrella?”

Me: “Oh, that’s my district manager’s. I’m afraid we don’t sell umbrellas, but the store next door does.”

Customer: “But I don’t want one from there. I want THAT one. How much?”

Me: “I’m afraid it’s not for sale. She just left it open to dry. But the neighboring store’s umbrellas will keep you just as dry.”

Customer: “Oh, sweetie, I’m not worrying about being dry. I got an umbrella in my purse. But that one’s way prettier. How much?”

Me: “Like I said, my manager needs it to stay dry. It’s not for sale.”

(The customer harrumphed, and went on shopping. Later, the district manager noticed her umbrella was missing. Reviewing the security footage, we saw the customer sneak back and steal the umbrella. A week later, a door was installed in front of the break room.)

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Don’t Bank On A Search Engine

| Ottawa, ON, Canada | Crazy Requests

(I work at a software company where our main clients are American. Depending on your Google search our ad often pops up first and being the receptionist I end up with a lot of calls like this…)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company].”

Caller: “Hi, I can’t get into my bank account.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, this is a software company.”

Caller: “Huh? Google gave me this number to call and complain.”

(Realizing there is a good chance the caller is American I try another tactic.)

Me: “I do apologize, sir, but this is a software company located in Canada.”

Caller: “Well, then, why does your number show up as the person to call?!”

Me: “It depends on what you searched online.”

(After another minute of explaining he seems to get it.)

Caller: “Are you sure you aren’t the bank?”

Me: “Yes, sir, the company hasn’t magically changed in the past five minutes of talking to you.”

(I wish I could say this was a rare conversation but it happened almost every day.)

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Refunder Blunder, Part 21

| Wales, UK | Crazy Requests, Money, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

(I am approached by an initially-pleasant elderly couple.)

Me: “Prynhawn da, good afternoon; may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, we were wondering if you know anything about yesterday’s car crash?”

Me: “The one at [Tiny Village] about six pm? Yes, it affected my route home – I took a quick diversion through a mountain pass that runs parallel to the main road.”

Customer: “What happened, then?”

Me: “Well, I’m not privy to all the details but from what I hear, nobody died.”

Customer: “Well, that’s good. The poor dears.”

Customer’s Husband: “The poor dears. Anyway, since you said nobody died, we’d like to know how we may apply for compensation?”

Me: “Sir, if you were involved in the accident or a witness you need to contact the police straight away! You could have vital information. Your insurance company might want to know too.”

Customer: “Oh, no, dear, no! Nothing like that.”

Customer’s Husband: “The road had been closed for over an hour when we got there and we didn’t see a thing.”

Me: “Then how could you possibly need compensating? I’m really sorry, but I don’t understand.”

Customer: “Well, the policeman at the road block gave us directions.”

Me: “O… kay?”

Customer’s Husband: “He offered us two routes back to [Town I am working in].”

Customer: “One sounds like that single track road you said you used.”

Customer’s Husband: “And the other was sticking to the main roads and driving back around the mountain range the other way.”

Customer: “We didn’t want to go into the mountains, you see. Imagine if we met another car!”

Customer’s Husband: “So we went the long way. And now we’d like to claim our money back for the extra fuel.”

(I am dumbstruck and stand there with my mouth open for a good few seconds whilst I think of something useful to tell them.)

Me: “Well, sir and ma’am, I’m not aware of any council-run schemes to compensate people for inconveniences or extra costs incurred for those not involved in a roadside emergency. I can give you the number for the department in the council that deals with roadways, but if anything like this IS available, my guess is that it would take the form of an insurance payout from the companies the vehicles actually involved were insured with. I have no idea if you can even get that information, but I can give you contact details for the nearest police station, who should be able to tell you.”

Customer’s Husband: “That sounds complicated.”

Customer: “We were hoping you might have a refund button on your till for it and could just give us cash today.”

Customer’s Husband: “We don’t mind if you have to refund it on our card, though.”

Me: “Sir, you’ve come to a tourist information kiosk. The ONLY functions on my till are for the sale and returns of maps and souvenirs. On the off-chance that there IS a law somewhere that says you may claim compensation for the type of issue you had yesterday, it would be dealt with centrally anyway and you’d get a cheque in the post. As I’ve said, it is NOT something we can deal with here. You would need to contact the police, a solicitor, or perhaps our roadways department.”

Customer: “Okay, well, that’s not really what we wanted to hear, but thank you, dear.”

(I needed to go and make a very strong cup of tea after they left!)

Related:
Refunder Blunder, Part 20
Refunder Blunder, Part 19
Refunder Blunder, Part 18

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