Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

An Unrewarding Realization

| FL, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre

Me: “Welcome to [Store].”

(Customer waves and walks past me, goes shopping, and then comes up to the counter to check out.)

Me: “Do you have your [Store] Rewards card?”

(The customer looks around then at my name tag.)

Customer: “What store am I in?”

Refunder Blunder, Part 13

| Chicago, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

Customer: “Hi, I want to return this watch.”

Me: “Sure thing, do you have the receipt?”

(Customer hands over receipt.)

Me: *after ringing the return up* “Okay so you’re getting $15 back on your card.”

Customer: “$15?! No, the price tag says it’s $24.99!”

Me: “Yes but you used a coupon to pay for it. You only paid $15 so that’s how much you’ll get back.”

Customer: “No, the price tag says $24.99! I should be getting $24.99 back!”

Me: *circling her total on the receipt* “Look, right here on the receipt, you used this coupon with your purchase which brought the total down to $15. You did not pay $24.99 so we can’t give you more money back than what you paid. We can only give you back what you gave us.”

Customer: “Well, that is f****** ridiculous!”

Me: “I’m sorry, there’s nothing I can do. You can swipe your card whenever you’re ready to get your money put back on it.”

Customer: *snatches watch back* “Forget it. I’ll just keep it.”

Refunder Blunder, Part 12
Refunder Blunder, Part 11
Refunder Blunder, Part 10

Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 9

| TX, USA | At The Checkout, Health & Body

(I am a cashier with a long line of customers. Note: the store I work at requires us to wear an apron.)

Customer: “Look at you! When are you due?”

Me: “I’m not pregnant.”

(Awkward pause as I continue ringing through her items.)

Customer “Are you sure? Sometimes you can be pregnant and not know it.”

Me: “Yes, I’m sure. I am not pregnant.”

Customer: “Well, I think you are pregnant. You should go get a test because I know you are pregnant.”

Me: “Trust me, I am really not pregnant.”

Customer: “Maybe you are and you’re just in denial.”

Me: “No. I am NOT pregnant!”

Customer: “But you could—”

Me: “Ma’am, I am not pregnant; I am just fat.”

Customer: “…”

Me: *finishes transaction* “Thank you and have a nice day.”

Customer: “Congratulations on the baby!”

Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 8
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 7
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 6

Not Very Closed Minded, Part 11

| FL, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

(The store I work in has automatic timers on the lights that we have no control over. They are set to turn on right as we open and then several minutes after we close. It is strictly forbidden to have customers in the store with us once the lights are out. A woman comes in about two minutes before closing time.)

Manager: “Hello, ma’am. We are closing in two minutes.”

Customer: “Hmhmm.”

(Again at closing:)

Manager: “Ma’am, you will need to finish up your shopping because we are officially closed.”

(A few minutes later she was still shopping so he told her AGAIN. She finally comes up to the register about a minute later but refuses to let me ring anything up. She starts sorting everything into piles of “Buy”, “Don’t Buy” and “Think About”.)

Me: “Ma’am, we are closed. You need to just give me what you’re buying so we can check you out.”

(She continues ignoring us, even though we repeat ourselves several more time, and just keeps sorting her items. The manager finally tells her he’s done waiting and that she needs to just leave RIGHT as the lights go out and we are all plunged into total darkness. The lady then turns to us and screams:)


(At that she finally leaves because it is literally too dark in the store for me to run the register.)

Not Very Closed Minded, Part 10
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 9
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 8

Just Run With It

| Lafayette, LA, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers

(I’m ringing up an older woman.)

Me: “That’ll be [price], please!”

Customer: “Well, since you said ‘please’…”

Me: *laughing* “What, if I hadn’t, you’d have grabbed it and run?!”

Customer: “Yeah!”

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