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Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

The Times, They Are a’Changin’

| MD, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Money

Me: “Your total is $4.24.”

Customer: *hands me a twenty*

Me: “Here’s your change.” *hands back $15.76* “Have a wonderful day!”

Customer: “… Didn’t I give you a five?”

Me: “I don’t think so…”

(Customer checks her pocket and pulls out the five she meant to give me.)

Me: “Doesn’t this usually happen the other way around?”

Doesn’t Know Zip About State Secrets

| CO, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

(I’m currently standing at the register. At this time, we have to ask for a customer’s zip code before proceeding with their transaction, and we are expected to get 70% of customers per day to give us one.)

Me: “Hello, how are you today?”

Customer: “Fine.”

Me: “Can I get your zip code, please?”

Customer: “No. I work for the Secret Service and it would be a breach of national security for you to know anything like that about me.”

Me: “Um… okay.”

(I proceed to ring him out for a transaction over $100. We have to ask for ID on any transaction over a certain amount being charged to a card. The guy pulls out a card and swipes it.)

Me: “Sir, I do need to see an ID if you are using that card.”

Customer: “Okay.”

(He then proceeded to take out his ID and show it to me – which had his zip code along with all his other information.)

Owning The Conversation

| USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers

(The customer is in her early 20s.)

Customer: “Why can’t you sell me what I want?”

Me: “Because we ran out of muffins.”

Customer: “That’s not good enough. Make some more.”

Me: “We cannot do that as we’re closing in an hour. You can come in tomorrow”.

Customer: “I’m the owner’s daughter. Call him.”

(The original owner is a 60 year old man who has just transferred his business to one of his daughters. He has a second daughter, Sarah, who I never met and don’t know what she looks like.)

Me: “You mean the last owner?”

Customer: “No, the current one.”

Me: “Then it’s not possible.”

Customer: “What are you talking about?”

Me: “Well, the current owner is 27 years old.”

Customer: “Oh, then I’m her sister.”

Me: “You’re Sarah?”

Customer: “Who?”

Me: “Okay, I don’t think so. You’re not related. Come back tomorrow for muffins.”

Customer: “D***. This worked at one store at least. That was a year ago..”

Me: “…”