Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

Refunder Blunder, Part 14

| Hampshire, England, UK | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

(I work in a clothes shop. Our returns policy is printed on the back of our receipt: 28 days for full price or 7 days if the item is sale. If over that amount of time, the item may be exchanged if it is unworn. A customer comes in with an item to return. I notice a problem.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but I’ll have to either exchange this or put it on a gift card, as you’ve gone over the seven days.”

Customer: *patronisingly* “Sweetie, there is a month for returns.”

Me: “28 days technically, but yes, there is usually an extended time for full price items. However this is sale. There are only 7 days for that.”

Customer: “No one told me!”

Me: “Well, I can’t say either way as this top wasn’t bought from our store, but I can say it is written in the back.” *I show her*

Customer: *scathingly* “Like anyone reads them!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but it is written down for you to read.”

(She starts creating a scene, saying how the customer is always right and how useless I am. Usually, when a customer does this they get what they want, so i check her receipt to see if she is in date for the full price return.)

Me: “Erm, excuse me?”

Customer: “What?!”

Me: “This was bought in early December. It’s now February. You’ve had this item for two months now, so even if it was full price, you wouldn’t be able to get a full refund.”

Customer: “Uh… really?”

Me: “Yep, see?” *I show her the receipt* “You bought it the 2nd December and it’s now the 6th February.”

(There is a pause.)

Me: “So… exchange or gift card?”

Refunder Blunder, Part 13
Refunder Blunder, Part 12
Refunder Blunder, Part 11

Should Get Yourself Checked Out

| UK | At The Checkout, Technology

(I am the customer in this story. I am notoriously unlucky at using self-service checkouts; they invariably tell me to ‘place the item in the bag’ or ‘remove the last item from the bag’ or can’t recognise the barcodes. For this reason I usually try to use a manned register. On this occasion I’m only buying a few items and decide to give it a try. There is a cashier near the self-service in case of problems.)

Me: “Just to warn you, these checkouts don’t like me. You’ll probably need to help.”

Cashier: “No problem. I’ll wait right here.”

(I start scanning.)

Me: “I can’t believe this is working. It’s usually gone wrong by now.”

Cashier: “Well, keep going. You’re doing something right!”

(I scan my last item.)

Me: “Wow, that is the first time I’ve got through the whole thing without a problem! That’s a record!”

Cashier: “Well, congratulations!”

(I pay the machine and collect my change.)

Me: “I still can’t believe it didn’t go wrong.”

Cashier: “I hope you have a good day!”

Me: “Thanks! Goodbye.”

(I start to leave the store.)

Cashier: “Uh, excuse me?”

Me: “Yes?”

Cashier: *pointing at the checkout I’d just left* “…Did you want to take your shopping with you?”

An Alarming Lack Of Patience

| MI, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

(A man walks up behind the person at the counter, even though the line is away from it.)

Cashier: “Sir, the line is over there.”

Guy: “What? Where?”

Cashier: “Right there, sir.”

(Guy leaves. I go up to the counter. He returns.)

Guy: “I’m going to pull the fire alarm if you don’t serve me.”

We Are Sorry For The Good Service

| Prince Albert, SK, Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

(I work as a cashier. During every order I ask the customers coming through my lane if they want the deal of the week, which can be anything from chocolates to toothbrushes to potted plants, and if we forget to ask then the customer gets the item for free. I greet my customer, with a hello, ask how many bags they would like, and offer the deal of the week. The order goes through with no problem and they pay.)

Me: “Here is your receipt, sir. You have yourself a wonderful evening.”

Customer: *kind of pissed* “Well, it’s not going to be so nice now!”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, sir. What happened?”

Customer: “You asked me if I wanted the deal of the week, and now I can’t have it for free!”

Me: *kind of speechless* “I’m sorry?”

Customer: *angrily* “Well, you should be. Why can’t you be like those other cashiers who never ask?!”

(The customer left not long afterwards with no fuss, but still a little angry at me for not letting them have a free item. It’s still one of the only times where I’ve had a customer mad at me for doing my job correctly and wanting me to be worse at it!)

Don’t Have Baggage About Types Of Baggage

| Lawrence, KS, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers

(I am standing in line at the grocery store. The cashier asks the customer in front:)

Cashier: “Do you want paper or plastic?”

Customer: “It doesn’t matter, I’m biSACKtual.”

(After he left, the cashier turned to the bagger:)

Cashier: “It’s a good thing the other guy wasn’t here today; he’s hydrophobic.”

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