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Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

Never Sausage A Thing Before

| UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink

Me: “Doesn’t look like these sausages are scanning. Where did you get them from?”

Customer: “In the freezer. I know you can sell them to me. I work for a shop, too, and you can just put the price in and sell them to me.”

Me: *goes to check for a price – no other items, no price, don’t even sell them* “Sorry, I can’t sell these to you. We don’t even sell them! I’m not sure how they got there”

Customer: “No! You can and YOU WILL sell them to me! And you can do it now! Stop wasting my time. I want them and you can sell them”

Me: “I’ve literally never seen these before in my life. I don’t have a price for them. I thought they were new, and they’re not. How am I supposed to sell you what we don’t sell?”

Customer: “Just put the price in and sell them!”

Me: “But, there isn’t a price! Well, fine, how does £2 sound?”

(And that’s the story of how I sold sausages we didn’t even sell, because I “had to sell them and could sell them.”)

A Noteworthy Customer

| Brighton, England, UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Money

(An eccentrically dressed man comes up to my till. I go to scan his items…)

Man: “No, wait! I can’t stand the beeping noise. It disturbs me. Hold on.”

(The man puts his fingers in his ears and nods to me. I scan through his items and he removes his fingers.)

Me: “That’ll be £4.49 please.”

(The man hands me a £10 note and I take a £5 note out of the till to give him as change.)

Man: “Could you check that, please?”

Me: “I’m sorry? What would you like me to check?”

Man: “The £5 note. I need to know it’s real.”

Me: “Um, okay.”

(I take out our note-checking pen and show him that the note is genuine.)

Man: “Thank you. You can’t be too careful can you? The banks like to keep some fake ones in circulation so that the public think there are crime rings everywhere. But there aren’t; it’s just the banks.”

Me: “Ah, I see… Well, you have a nice afternoon, sir.”

Man: “Thank you! And may all your wishes come true!”

Got Yourself Carded

| Scotland, UK | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers

(After a long shift I decide to purchase some groceries from the supermarket where I work. The woman in front of me has her shopping rung up and presents my newly-trained coworker with a staff discount card. I don’t recognize the woman and assume her to be from another one of our stores.)

Coworker: *has attempted to swipe the discount card three times without success* “Um, just give me a second.”

Woman: “All right.”

Coworker: *she proceeds to swipe it two more times through the till* “Sorry, it doesn’t seem to be working.”

Me: “Let me have a look.” *my coworker hands over the card for my inspection and I’m dumbfounded by what I find* “Madam, this is my card.”

Woman: “No, it’s mine.”

Me: “Madam, I reported this card missing just yesterday. It has my name and employee number on the front.”

Woman: “Ah.” *she proceeds out of the store doing the fastest running walk I have ever seen*