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Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

Failed The Name Game

| TAS, Australia | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers

(The coffee shop I work in has loyalty cards that we can scan, which will come up with the customer’s name on the screen. On this particular day, an elderly man in his mid-60s comes in to buy a coffee and then gives me his loyalty card to scan. After I’ve scanned it, I look at the name on the screen…)

Me: “Sir, are you sure this is your card?”

Customer: “Absolutely, why?”

Me: “Well, you just don’t look like a Penelope to me.”

This Conversation Has A Beautiful Final Destination

| UK | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Money

Customer: “I’d like to go to [Destination #1] today, then on to [Destination #2] tonight, then back here tomorrow.”

(I know that in order to get from Destination #1 to Destination #2, the customer will have to come back through here, so I sell her a here-to-Destination #1 return and a here-to-Destination #2 return.)

Customer: “Excuse me; this isn’t what I asked for!”

Me: “Sure it is, that will get you to [Destination #1] today, [Destination #2] tonight, and back to here tomorrow.”

Customer: “No! I wanted a single to [Destination #1] and then a [Destination #1] to [Destination #2] return! This is disgraceful customer service. You are useless at your job. You ought to be f***ing fired because you can’t even listen to what people want! You need re-training so you learn not to sell the wrong tickets and waste honest people’s money! How much have you overcharged me, so I can let your manager know how you’ve f***ing stolen from me!”

Me: “Actually, ma’am, I’ve saved you £26.”

(The customer was left gaping while every other customer in the queue who’d heard every word started laughing at her. It was the most beautiful moment in my working life so far.)

Refunder Blunder, Part 17

| NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

(I’m on line at Customer Service after work because, like an idiot, I forgot to take out my $3 off coupon at the register. In order to get an extra discount, either from an employee card or coupon, you have to return and re-buy the item so the system knows where the money is going and why. A man two people ahead of me is trying to get money back on a shirt that recently went on clearance. I’m a little late in the conversation so he’s already throwing a fit.)

Customer #1: “I want a manager. This is ridiculous that I have to return an item just to buy it back. Just for $2. Why can’t you just give me the two bucks?”

(The customer service representative isn’t even answering back at this point.)

Customer #1: “Are you going to get me the manager or not?”

(The customer service representative quietly leaves, not really giving the impression that he’s going to find someone. Wrong move, but then again, the manager would just be saying the same thing.)

Customer #1: *turns to the lady in front of me* “He’s not getting anyone is he? These stupid people.”

Customer #2: “I know.”

Customer #1: “Why the h*** would I return an item just to buy it back? Is it really too difficult just to give me the two dollars back? Jesus.”

Customer #2: “I know. I agree.”

(Customer #1 decides to just return the shirt because he doesn’t want to bother re-buying it and walks off in a bad mood. I finally get to the register after 10 minutes with the same cashier as he was with.)

Me: *I have my receipt and coupon out and take out the two items from the bag* “I forgot to use my coupon at the register for these vitamins.”

Cashier: “Sure.” *checks the receipt* “And I’ll need your discount card.”

Me: “Okay.”

(She scans the receipt and the items. I sign the return receipt. Then she scans the items again with the coupon and employee discount card and gives me the $3 difference. The whole exchange takes maybe under one minute.)

Me: “How the h*** was this too difficult?”

Related:
Refunder Blunder, Part 16
Refunder Blunder, Part 15
Refunder Blunder, Part 14