Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

The Hunger Exclaims

| MI, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

(I am working drive-thru at a popular fast food restaurant and taking a very large order.)

Customer: “Oh, and finally, I want [Meal] with an extra [Sandwich].”

Me: *exclaiming without hitting the drive-thru button* “How many people are you feeding!?”

Customer: “I’m hungry!”

(I panicked until I realize she was speaking to someone else in her car who was also making fun of how much food she was ordering.)

A Close-Knit Employee

| OH, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

(I recently started a job at a fabric store, where my main duty is to cut fabric. During my training, since I have no prior experience with fabric or sewing, I constantly ask my supervisors for answers. While I am currently on seasonal pay, the general manager has said that I am actually a part-time employee.)

Customer: *approaches me* “Miss, can you help me?”

Me: “Sure, what is it?”

Customer: “Can you recommend a spray for my tee-shirt quilt? You have two different kinds and I want to know which you think is better.”

Me: “Umm, I personally do not know, but let me ask someone who’d know.”

Customer: “Oh, you’re one of those seasonals?”

Me: *about to page my supervisor on the radio* “Yeah?”

Customer: “Figures. These days, you’ll hire anyone off the streets who can wield scissors.”

(I have no answer to that. I page my supervisor and get an answer. Before I can relay it, the customer continues on.)

Customer: “What experience DO you have with fabric?”

Me: “None, but—”

Customer: “Figures. I probably won’t see you after January.”

Me: “But I am the only employee who knows a lick about knitting.”

(The customer had the decency to look ashamed! As for my knowledge of sewing, my supervisor and my mother are both teaching me.)

Keeps On Turning Up A Bad Penny

| Galveston, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Money

Me: “Your total is XX.34.”

(The customer hands me bills and coins. I count out a quarter, a dime, one penny, two, three . . .)

Me: “I’m sorry; this last one is a Euro penny.”

Customer: “I don’t know how that got in there. Here’s another penny.”

Me: “Sorry, but this one’s a Canadian penny.”

Customer’s Friend: “Even Canadians don’t take those any more.”

Customer’s Other Friend: “How did you end up with all those?”

Customer: “I don’t know! I just did!”

Customers Have Thin Shells

| York, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

(I work at a popular discount store. We have a deal going on where you can get 18 medium eggs for one dollar so people have been buying two or three cases at a time. One customer comes up with three cases.)

Me: *opens first case, checks eggs, scans, and puts it in a bag. Does it again with the second. Opens the third, and notices one egg looks cracked so I gently nudge it to look closer*

Customer: “Are you touching my food?”

Me: *stops* “Oh, I apologize, ma’am. This one egg looked cracked but—” *nudges it again* “—it seems to be just a mark.”

Customer: “I can’t believe you’re touching my food. I eat that, you know? When was the last time you washed your hands?”

Me: “I apologize ma’am, but I wanted to make sure none of the eggs were broken before you purchase them.”

Customer: *becomes angrier* “No! I want another case! You’re touching my food with nasty hands! How am I supposed to eat it now?”

Me: *confused* “Ma’am, I didn’t realize you ate the shell.”

Customer: *fumes, throws down her money, and walks out with all three cases*

Pinning Down The Repeat Problem

| NE, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

(I work for a fast food restaurant chain that’s pretty much based in Nebraska. The following happens within the span of a week while I’m working drive-thru by myself.)

Me: “Thank you for choosing [Fast Food Place]. How may I help you?”

Lady: “Can I have two separate orders, please?”

Me: “Sure. What can I get you for your first order?”

Lady: “A number one with a Pepsi for the first item.”

Me: “Okay. That’ll be [total] for that. And the second?”

Lady: “A number nine with ranch and a Dr. Pepper, please.”

Me: “All right. That’ll be [total] for that, then. I’ll see you at the window!”

(She pulls up as I get her items ready. I open the window and greet her.)

Me: “Hey there! [Total] for the first one!”

(She hands me a card, which I put in the chip reader. It tells me I need a PIN, so I go to hand the machine out to her.)

Me: “Sorry, but I need a PIN, please.”

Lady: “Oops! Hang on a sec, I need to call my friend; it’s her card.”

(I pull back my arm and wait while she calls her friend. When she hangs up I go to hand it back.)

Lady: “Oh, it’s [PIN].”

Me: *stares in shock* “I’m… I’m sorry?”

Lady: *moronically repeats PIN*

Me: “O-Okay…”

(I type it in and it goes through. I hand back the receipt and the first meal. The rest of the transaction goes smoothly but I remain in shock at the pure stupidity of this woman. I figure that she’ll remain the clear winner of the “Moron of the Month” award, but alas, a week later another woman comes through who’s just as stupid.)

Me: “Thank you for choosing [Fast Food Place]. How may I help you?”

Lady #2: “Yes, I’d like a number five, please, with a diet Pepsi.”

Me: “Anything else today?”

Lady #2: “No, thank you.”

Me: “Okay, that’ll be [total]. I’ll see you at the window!”

(I get her drink as the lady pulls up. I then open the window and greet her, thinking this will go as it normally does. It doesn’t.)

Me: “Hey there! [Total], please.”

Lady #2: *hands me a card*

(I place the card in the chip reader and lo and behold, I need her PIN. I go to hand the machine out to her.)

Me: “Sorry, but I need your PIN.”

Lady #2: “It’s [PIN].”

Me: *stares at her in total shock* “Wh-wha…?”

Lady #2: *louder and clearly oblivious to her stupidity* [PIN NUMBER].”

(I didn’t say anything this time as I put in her PIN for her. It went through, and I handed her back her card. Everything else proceeded as normal and she left with her food, satisfied. Either I have a very trustworthy face, or this is the Month of the Morons!)

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