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Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

Ripping Your Credit To Pieces

| Portland, OR, USA | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers, Money

(I am at the checkout and overhear this conversation between my manager and a customer she just finished helping.)

Customer: “You gave me a ripped dollar bill. I need you to replace it.”

Manager: “I didn’t give you the ripped bill.”

Customer: “Are you trying to call me a liar? I want a manager!”

Manager: “Ma’am, I am a manager, and you just paid with a credit card.”

A Meaty Proposition

| Albuquerque, NM, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I work at a sub shop for about a year, where customers may have the employees customize their sandwich as it being made. A customer and presumably his girlfriend come in when it’s slow.)

Customer: “Hey, I’m hungry.”

Me: “Yes, sir, what would you like?”

Customer: “Is this the stuff I can get?”

(Gestures to the pans of food laid out for assembly.)

Me: “Yes, sir, and here are the types of bread.”

Customer: “Cool. I want wheat, and all the meats.”

Me: “All of them?”

Customer: “Yeah, I want all of these.”

Me: “That’s going to be very expensive.”

Customer: “Why?”

(I don’t make the sandwich, instead calculating what the whole single sandwich would cost with every additional meat including steak, chicken, bacon, ham, salami, bologna, turkey, and tuna. Something like twenty five bucks. Once he hears that, he looks at me like I was eating live scorpions and shoos his lady-friend right out of the door.)

Manager: *rubbing his temples* “I’m so glad I retire next month.”

Nut A Good Idea

, | FL, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I’m working the register at a sandwich shop.)

Customer: *completely earnest* “I have a question about your cookies. I see here there are some labeled “White Chip Macadamia Nut.” Does that mean there are white chocolate chips and macadamia nuts?”

Me: “I… uh… yes.”

Customer: “So then I can’t give them to my son with a nut allergy, right?”

Me: “That would be a bad idea, yes.”

Customer: “All right, let me have one of those for me and one chocolate chip for my son.”

Me: “I don’t think that would be a good idea, ma’am.”

Customer: *getting irritated* “Well, why not? Do the chocolate chip cookies have nuts in them?”

Me: “Well, no, but they do come into contact with nuts in several places. Like when we’re baking them, or when we use the same tongs to grab them. Or the display case in front of you where the chocolate chip cookies are touching the macadamia nut cookies…”

Customer: “Fine, then, I won’t get him any cookies. Just give me my sandwiches and two small drinks.”

Me: “Uh… I’m afraid I can’t do that either.”

Customer: “Why the h*** not? I paid you didn’t I?!”

Me: “Um… you haven’t ordered a sandwich yet.”

(Luckily my manager came back from break and we were able to sort everything out before it escalated.)