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Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

Cash Back Flack

| New Orleans, LA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

(I am a cashier at a local grocery store. When paying with a debit card, customers can choose to get cash back from their checking account.)

Customer: *absent-mindedly clicks through the buttons on the electronic payment keypad*

Me: “All right, here’s your $50 cash back.”

Customer: “What? I didn’t ask for that!”

Me: “You did, ma’am. You were asked if you wanted cash back, pressed yes, then the $50 amount.”

Customer: “No, I didn’t! I just kept pressing ‘yes!'”

Me: “Well, the “yes” button on the first screen becomes the “yes” button for cash back, then the $50 button for the amount. It’s an easy mistake to make if you’re just pressing it over and over.”

(I am still attempting to hand her the $50 she pulled out.)

Customer: “Well, I don’t want that!”

Me: “I HAVE to give it to you, ma’am. It’s your money from your account. I can’t keep it.”

Customer: “Well, just put it back in my account!”

Me: “That’s not how cash back works…”

Coupon And On And On, Part 2

| Boston, MA, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers

(I am waiting in line for a register. This particular store only has one register that technically is not self-serve. I need to use it because I am paying with my student ID. A woman in front of me is being rung up by the cashier, an older, nice-looking woman who seems a little uncertain throughout the transaction.)

Customer: “No, no! This is wrong! See, I have this coupon and it takes this much off the order, not that much!”

Cashier: “Um, okay, let me fix that for you then.”

(This customer has an entire envelope filled with coupons. I am feeling pretty sure by this point that this woman has calculated everything down to the last cent and is refusing to accept anything else. I end up standing second in line for over twenty minutes.)

Other Cashier: *to me* “You can use this self-serve over here if you’re ready.”

Me: “Oh, no thanks. I’m paying with my student ID so I need to be in this line. I’m not in a hurry anyway.”

Cashier: *looks at me apologetically*

(After the manager has finally had to show up because the customer apparently thinks that she’s been charged for one extra bottle of lotion than she bought – I’m not entirely sure what was happening at this point anyway – the woman finally leaves and the cashier breathes out a sigh of relief. I quickly grab a Snickers bar before I walk up to the counter.)

Cashier: *to me, looking frazzled* “I’m so sorry about the wait. It’s my first day and I’m still figuring things out.”

Me: “That’s okay; we’ve all been there.”

(She rings me up with no problem and just a moment of being shown how to process my student ID by the manager. She bags all my things and I quickly reach in to grab the candy and put it back on the counter.)

Me: “Thank you. Here, this is for you!”

Cashier: “Really?”

Me: “Yup!”

Cashier: “Wow, thank you! Have a great night!”

Me: “You, too!”

(I really do hope her night got better! First days are hard enough as it is.)

Related:
Coupon And On And On

His Manliness Is The Cream Of The Crop

| MD, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

(I am a customer waiting in line at a coffee shop:)

Server: “Good morning, sir. What can I get you?”

Guy Ahead of Me: *very gruffly* “I don’t know. I hate all these choices. Just gimme a plain, brewed coffee. Black. And don’t put any of that sissy stuff in it. I don’t want flavors or whipped cream or any of that crap.”

Server: *a little taken aback, but polite* “Okay, sir.”

Me: “I’d like a double, tall, non-fat latte and, because I’m secure in my masculinity, add some whipped cream.”

(She gave me a discount.)

Wish You Could Just Bury Your Head In The Sand

| Australia | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

(There is a promotion on at the toy store where I work for a new type of sand that comes with several sets of molds. Because the promotion is going so well, we run out of molds in the first few days and are waiting for our new stock to come in next week. We used to have many signs around the store advertising both the sand and the molds, but we have taken down all the mold advertisements and actually put up a few sign saying that we’ve run out.)

Customer #1: “Hi. My son’s birthday is next week. I want a pack of [Sand] and three molds to go with it.”

Me: “Unfortunately, we’ve sold out of molds, but we are getting more in on Tuesday. Would you still like to buy a pack of [Sand] now or would you like me to put it aside for when the molds come in?”

Customer #1: “EXCUSE ME? What do you mean you’ve sold out?!”

Me: “Um… I mean we’ve sold out. We sold out a few days ago actually, but, as I said before, we are getting more in on Tuesday.”

Customer #1: “IT’S MY SON’S BIRTHDAY NEXT WEEK AND I NEED THE SAND AND THE MOLDS. WHY WOULDN’T YOU KEEP SOME FOR ME?!”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer #1: “WHY WOULDN’T YOU KEEP SOME FOR ME?”

Me: “Ma’am, do you actually think it would be possible for me to know that you, a stranger, would need this product for your son’s birthday and have kept some aside for you? This is the first time I’ve met you.”

Customer #1: “This is actually ridiculous. I will be back on Tuesday for my sand and three molds. There will be trouble if I don’t get them. Do you understand? TROUBLE!”

Me: “…”

(Customer #1 storms out of the store and I don’t see her for the rest of the day. I don’t work Tuesdays so I leave a note for my coworker saying explains what happened and to watch out for her. I come in on Saturday morning for my next shift and there is only one packet of [Sand] left and one mold to go with it. I am currently ringing up both of them for Customer #2 who regularly comes in to buy products for his daughter.)

Customer #2: “My daughter is going to love these! Did you know it’s her birthday tomorrow?”

Me: “No way! Wish her a very happy birthday from m- OH, NO!”

(I see Customer #1 come through the doors and head straight towards me.)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer #1: “You know what I want.”

Me: “Ma’am, did you not buy the products on Tuesday?”

Customer #1: “NO! I didn’t get a chance on Tuesday. I was doing things. Now give me my products.”

Me: “Actually, ma’am, we’ve sold out again, this time of both products. I can’t sell you anything. If you had come in earlier in the week when I told you the stock was arriving then you may have been able to purchase them.”

(Customer #1 throws a huge fit and knocks over a large stand and shattering many products in the process.)

Me: “Miss! You need to calm down! I just sold the last product to this man. You’re too late. You need to leave the store.”

(Customer #1 proceeded to push over Customer #2, take his bag and make a run for it. Unfortunately for her, Customer #2 was an undercover police officer, who proceeded to catch her, arrest her, and charge her with both assault and theft! Customer #2 got the store a huge amount of compensation for for the broken products, which we ended up giving to him to spend on his daughter’s birthday. I never saw Customer #1 again!)

A Third Of The Way To A Breakdown

| MN, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Math & Science

(The current sale on a certain brand of pizzas is three for $10, making the sale price for each $3.33. A customer comes through the line with two pizzas.)

Customer: “I know the sign says three for $10, but I only want to buy two of these pizzas.”

Me: “That’s fine; they ring up at the sale price no matter how many you buy.”

(I scan one pizza and show him that it rings up as $3.33.)

Customer: “NO! You don’t understand; I want the SALE PRICE.”

Me: “$3.33 is the sale price.”

Customer: “No, it’s not!”

(I’m beginning to have a line, so I pull out a calculator to show the math.)

Me: “It is, sir. Look. Ten divided by three is 3.33.”

Customer: “NO! THAT’S TOO MUCH! DO YOU THINK I’M STUPID?!”

Next Customer: “I do.”

(The first customer refused to believe me, saying that he’d pay for them just this once. He also said he’d be informing a manager about the wrong sale price. Needless to say, I did not get in trouble.)

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