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Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

That Tipped Her Over The Edge

North Vancouver, BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Money

(I’m at a popular Canadian coffee shop waiting in line. This coffee shop does not usually have tip jars available but today there is one at each counter. The older lady waiting in front of me strikes up a conversation.)

Customer: “Look at that! They’ve put tip jars out!”

Me: “Oh, yeah. I guess those aren’t usually there.”

Customer: “I’ve been to…” *lists every franchise in the area* “…and they all have tip jars now, too. The management changed and they are allowing them to put out tip jars!”

Me: “Well, every other coffee shop has tip jars.”

(Before she can reply the lady is called up to the cashier.)

Cashier: “What can I get for you, ma’am?”

Customer: “I’ll have a medium double-double and just so you know I am never coming here ever again!”

Cashier: *obviously taken aback* “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. May I ask why?”

Customer: “You put out tip jars!”

(The customer begins to berate the poor cashier about a decision that clearly wasn’t hers. After about a minute I’ve had enough. I grab a few dollars out of my bag and go up the counter, reach around the crabby customer and throw it in the tip jar.)

Me: “This is for having to deal with her.”

(They finished up their transaction and the woman waited for her order while staring daggers at me. I went up to make my order and the cashier thanked me for standing up for her. I went in there about a week later and lo-and-behold, who did I see? The same cranky old bat! Looked like the tip jars weren’t so offensive after all. Hopefully she was treating the lovely staff there more respectfully… Maybe even throwing in a tip or two – though I doubt it.)

I Have Twenty-Twenty Vision

| Colorado Springs, CO, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal & Illegal, Liars & Scammers

(I ring up a customer for two lemonades that are on sale at 2 for $5.)

Me: “All right, sir, your total is $5.39.”

Customer: *hands me a $50 bill*

Me: *checks its authenticity then puts it through and gets out his change* “All right, sir, your change is 61 cents and here’s twenty, forty, and four ones.”

(I ALWAYS count customer change back to them, especially when it is a large amount. The cashier behind me needs an override for a void, so I scan my supervisor card and turn back to him.)

Customer: “Excuse me; you only gave me $25. See, one of the twenties is actually a one.”

(I look at his hand and see a one where I definitely put a twenty before. I know he is trying to con me, so I put up my closed sign and ask the lady who was next to please go to the next cashier, who has no customers. I then page my coworker over and ask her to bring out the mobile money counter to count my till.)

Customer: “I’m not magician! Look, it’s not here!” *rolls up his sleeves*

Me: “Okay, sir, I just need to have my drawer counted first.”

Customer: “Well, how long is this going to take? Ten minutes?”

Me: “No, sir, only a minute or two.”

Customer: “Well, I’m going next door! I’ll be back for my twenty after you count that drawer!”

(Guess what? He never came back. And my till was spot on.)

Trying To Charge Of Taking A Charge

| Leicestershire, England, UK | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

(Recently, a minimum 5p charge for plastic bags has been rolled out across the country. A rumour that it’s illegal to charge for bags because they have stores’ logos on them (and therefore advertise the store) has been making the rounds.)

Me: “Do you need a bag?”

Customer: “I’m fine, mate. I’ll just carry them.”

(After I ring him up and pile his purchases on the counter in front of him he points to a plastic bag I have ready on the counter.)

Customer: “It has the [Store] logo on it. That means it’s illegal to charge!”

Me: “By that logic, wouldn’t it be illegal for Apple to charge for any of their products?”

This S*** Is Expensive

| NY, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Money

(I am the only cashier working in a fairly busy convenience store. A small elderly woman comes up to the counter with a few laxative-based items.)

Customer: *sweetly* “Can you price-check these for me, dear? I only have [amount] and I need to make sure I don’t spend too much.”

Me: “Sure!” *rings up items* “Your total today is [more than what she has].”

Customer: “Jesus Christ! How much should I have to pay to take a s***?!”

(I am taken aback by this funny exclamation, as it is coming from a sweet old lady. So, I say the only thing I can think of at the time:)

Me: “The struggle is real, ma’am.”

Customer: *sighing* “Why, yes, it is, sweetie. Can you put everything on a credit card?”

Expressly Mannerless

| Portland, OR, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

(There are already four checkout lanes open at the store but the lines are still fairly long when the following happens:)

Loudspeaker: “Attention, customers. We have just opened the Express lane for customers with less than 10 items. Again, we have just opened the Express lane for customers with less than 10 items.”

(Several people, including myself move over to the new lane, however we are beaten by Customer who has a cart nearly overflowing with groceries.)

Me: “You know this lane is for 10 items or less, right?”

Customer: “How was I supposed to know that?”

Me: “Well, there’s the sign posted clearly right there, or, if you’re blind, she said it twice when she made the announcement that made you race over here.”

Customer: “Oh, well, I didn’t know” *starts putting groceries on belt*

(Because it’s still faster than moving back to one of the other lines I wait for her to finish.)

Cashier: *when customer has left* “I’m very sorry about that. We’re not allowed to turn anybody away, even if they don’t have any manners.”

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