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Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

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The Grinch Who Can’t Accept Checks

, | PA, USA | At The Checkout, Holidays, Money

(It’s Christmas Day, and I work at a pharmacy retail store that is part of a very large chain. We are a 24 hour store, and we don’t close on Christmas, so we’re usually the only place open. Christmas Day sales are mostly batteries and last minute gift cards, and there’s been a steady stream of customers all morning. During a lull, an older woman walks in.)

Woman: “Hello! I would like to purchase six [Store] gift cards, each one for $10.”

Me: “Okay!”

(I grab the gift cards from next to the till, and count them quickly to make sure I have the right amount.)

Woman: “Now, should I make this out to [Store]?”

(At this point, I realize that she’s writing a check, which my register won’t let me accept as payment for gift cards, so I speak up.)

Me: “Oh, unfortunately, I can’t take a check.”

Woman: “Excuse me?”

Me: “Yeah, sorry, it’s a store policy. [Chain Store #1] and [Chain Store #2] don’t either. I can take cash, credit, or debit, but that’s it.”

Woman: “Well, I don’t have a debit card, and I don’t have any cash!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I still can’t accept a check.”

Woman: “You, young man, have just ruined Christmas!”

(I told my manager about what the customer said, and was known as “The Grinch” for the rest of the holiday season!)

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Toying With The Welfare State

| NH, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Holidays

(I’m the toys’ department manager at a major retail store. When an item gets damaged we do a special mark down on it to try to sell it. We can do this two times before the price is brought to zero and we throw it out. A lady comes up to me with a toy that has been marked down and I clearly write “as is” on the tag.)

Customer: “This toy is ripped open and dirty. Can you take some money off it for me? ”

Me: “No, ma’am, I’m sorry. It’s already been marked down and clearly states the product is being sold “as is.” I’m not taking any more off.”

Customer: “Well, I see there are two stickers on it! The one on the bottom says 35% off and the one on top says 25% off! Why is the lesser one on top?”

Me: “When I first marked it down it took 35% off the original price. Since it didn’t sell I did another mark down on it for 25% off the previous 35% off price. On top of that the toy was already on clearance before it was marked down. You are getting a $30 toy for $5.72 right now. If I take any more off the system will automatically delete that toy out of our inventory and I will have to throw it away.”

Customer: “Well, I live on welfare and don’t have that much money! What do you suppose I do for my son for Christmas?”

Me. “The local church has a program that gives low income family’s new clothes for Christmas and there is always Toys for Tots. You could try them if you have difficulty affording presents.”

Customer: “You just think I’m white trash, don’t you? That’s why you won’t take more money off for me! You think you’re better than me because you have a fancy job and no kids to support! You don’t know how rough Christmas time is when you have kids!”

Me: “Actually I have a four-year-old son.”

Customer: “WELL, I’M NOT DEALING WITH YOUR ATTITUDE JUST BECAUSE YOU THINK I’M WHITE TRASH! I COULD WORK HERE IF I WANTED A JOB!”

(She then threw the toy on the floor and stormed away…)

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You Hanukkah’t Win, Part 2

| Lake George, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Holidays, Religion

(My boss is finishing a transaction at the register. The customer has been rude and difficult the entire time that she’s been in the store. I am on the register next to her, looking something up for another customer.)

Boss: “Thank you for coming in today and have a happy holiday!”

(The lady’s face goes beet red and she starts yelling.)

Customer: “YOU SAY MERRY CHRISTMAS. I AM CHRISTIAN AND THIS IS AMERICA AND, GODD*** IT, YOU SAY MERRY CHRISTMAS!”

(My boss’s eyes go wide.)

Boss: “Ma’am, please stop yelling.”

Customer: “I WILL NOT STOP YELLING.” *customer turns to me* “You must agree with me!”

Me: “Ma’am, I don’t really have any say in this.”

Customer: “YOU WILL AGREE WITH ME!”

Me: “Ma’am, you misunderstand. I’m Jewish.”

(The customer looks between my boss and me and then storms out.)

Boss: “Have I told you lately that I love you?”

Related:
You Hanukkah’t Win

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Take Note Of That Joke

| UK | At The Checkout, Money

(I supply sandwiches to office workers by taking a selection round to their offices. One of my regulars picks out a tortilla wrap.)

Customer: “Can I pay with plastic?”

Me: “What, for £3.40? Sorry, but I can’t accept cards …”

Customer: *pulls out a new Winston Churchill £5 note*

Me: *cracks up*

(The UK has recently introduced a new £ note made of plastic.)

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You Reap What You Bow

| Cambridgeshire, England , UK | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

(I have just served a customer who bought a card, wrapping paper and two identical bows. After serving another customer, she comes up to my till.)

Customer: “You’ve overcharged me! How hard is it to not double scan an item?!”

Me: ‘I’m sorry, madam… Please show me your receipt.”

(She does, and everything is as I scanned it.)

Me: “I only scanned what you gave me.”

Customer: “How stupid can you get?! You charged me for TWO bows!”

Me: “Madam. If you look in your bag, you will see that you bought two bows.”

Customer: “I only wanted one. You should have known that!”

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