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Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

Expressly Mannerless

| Portland, OR, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

(There are already four checkout lanes open at the store but the lines are still fairly long when the following happens:)

Loudspeaker: “Attention, customers. We have just opened the Express lane for customers with less than 10 items. Again, we have just opened the Express lane for customers with less than 10 items.”

(Several people, including myself move over to the new lane, however we are beaten by Customer who has a cart nearly overflowing with groceries.)

Me: “You know this lane is for 10 items or less, right?”

Customer: “How was I supposed to know that?”

Me: “Well, there’s the sign posted clearly right there, or, if you’re blind, she said it twice when she made the announcement that made you race over here.”

Customer: “Oh, well, I didn’t know” *starts putting groceries on belt*

(Because it’s still faster than moving back to one of the other lines I wait for her to finish.)

Cashier: *when customer has left* “I’m very sorry about that. We’re not allowed to turn anybody away, even if they don’t have any manners.”

In Addition, You’re An Idiot

| Baltimore, MD, USA | At The Checkout, Home Improvement, Liars & Scammers

(I am a cashier, with a customer hauling a rather expensive patio set along with some groceries in my line. I ring him up and show him the total.)

Customer: “That price is incorrect.”

Me: “I am very sorry, sir. I will have someone get a price check right away.”

(I have someone check the price of the patio set and it comes back the same as I had on the register.)

Me: “Sir, the price of that patio set is [price].”

(I show him the screen with a picture of his patio set and the price.)

Customer: “No, your total is wrong! I will show you!”

(The man then proceeds to take out a calculator and attempts to add up all his purchases.)

Me: “Sir, I can assure you the register has a built in calculator, so it does not make adding mistakes.”

Customer: “WELL, IT HAS THIS TIME!”

(I have a rather long line building up by this point which has attracted the attention of one of my managers. She walks over and sees the man furiously typing away on his calculator.)

Manager: “Sir, what seems to be the problem here? Can I help you?”

Customer: “Your machine is broken!”

Manager: “What do you mean?”

Customer: “It’s not adding the total properly! This is very poor service!”

Manager: “One moment, sir.”

(My manager took me aside and told me to take my break. I did as she said, thankful to be out of there. Later, my manager came into the breakroom and told me that that was the third time that customer had done that in a week. Apparently he couldn’t afford the patio set so he thought he could swindle a cashier into giving it to him cheaper.)

How To Drive In The Tips

| Kirkland, WA, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Rude & Risque

(It is Halloween and I am working the overnight shift at my store. As the manager, I am required to do drive-thru since we are unusually busy as well as short staffed on Halloween night. I have just finished trick-or-treating with my godson and am still in my costume, which I am allowed to wear in place of my usual uniform. It is just after two am, and all the bars are closed, when I have a taxi pull to my window with three drunk men in the back. The cabbie is clearly frustrated and although I have no issues while taking their order, I grow concerned.)

Me: “You’re total is [total].”

(The men in the back start searching their pockets for money and after a minute passes, I start to get frustrated myself. We are slammed and I still have to help my coworker make the food, since it’s only the two of us. The man in the far right seat, furthest from me, finds his wallet and sticks out a bill. I lean out the window, almost climbing into the cab, and take the cash, all while the men are staring down my shirt in a none-too-discreet manner. As I’m cashing out the order, I count out the eighty some dollars in change while listening to them talk about what they’d love to do to me.)

Me: “Here’s your receipt and change. Would you like any ketchup?”

Drunk #1: “No, but I’ll take your number and you can keep the change.”

(I look down at the money and back at him.)

Drunk #2: “Only if you share her.”

(At this point, I’m clearly disgusted with them and I glance at the cabbie, who’s in the worse position of driving them home. Feeling bad, I grab a pen and write the store number on the back of the receipt with a fake name attached.)

Drunk #1: “Thanks, cutie. I’ll call you later.”

(I grab their food and bag an extra medium fry for the cabbie. I grab the money from my pocket and split it in half, shoving one half into the medium fry bag. I hand out their order and make sure the cabbie gets his food. He smiles and thanks me. Thinking nothing more of it, I go back to work. A few hours later, the cabbie comes back through.)

Me: “Hi, your total—” *seeing the cabbie* “Oh, hi! I hope you enjoyed the tip! I didn’t think they were likely to give you anything. They were real jerks.”

Cabbie: “I appreciated the gesture. I really just wanted to come back to give you this.”

(He hands me $150.)

Me: “Are you serious? You really don’t have to do that!”

Cabbie: “And they didn’t have to say the things they said. I just wanted to make sure you received a tip from someone who honestly appreciated your service. Thank you, and have a good rest of your day.”