Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

Wrapping Up Nicely

| CA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Popular

(I work at a local toy store and we offer free gift wrapping for anything purchased in the store.)

Me: “Are you going to be needing anything gift wrapped today?”

Customer: “Yes, please, but not any of this.” *pulls out two books and a tee shirt from her bag*

Me: “I’m sorry our gift wrapping is only available for items purchased within the store or off our website.”

Customer: “But it’s going to the same person that these—” *points to toys on counter* “—are for. Can you make an exception?”

Me: “I’m sorry. It is our store policy.”

Customer: “That is absolutely ridiculous. I am a paying customer.”

Me: “I would be more than happy to wrap the items that you’ve purchased from here.”

Customer: “I already told you, I didn’t want those wrapped. Do you not listen? I need to speak with your manager.”

(I page the owner from his office and he comes out about a minute later as I continue to ring up and wrap for the customers waiting in line behind her.)

Customer: “Your employee is providing terrible service.”

Owner: “I’m sorry about that. What is the problem?”

Customer: “She refuses to wrap my items.”

Owner: “Well, if it is too big, I’m sorry, but we can’t wrap it. The counter space doesn’t allow for all the room needed.”

Customer: “No, she won’t wrap these items I bought from another store.”

Owner: “Well, it clearly states on our wrapping policy that the items must be bought here.”

Customer: “That’s f****** stupid. I’m never coming back.”

Owner: “Good. We will not miss your service.” *posts a huge smile on his face* “Have a great day!”

Ruined His Bucket List

| Burlington, MA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(I work for a big movie theater company and we are currently having a promotional offer that allows a customer to upgrade their large popcorn bag to a large popcorn bucket with the purchase of either one or two large fountain drinks. My manager likes to keep the buckets on display underneath the large popcorn bags, which sometimes confuses customers into thinking the buckets can be purchased separately, which they cannot. It has been a very busy day and the line for concession is stretching across the lobby. After calling over the next customer, a middle aged man approaches with his friend.)

Customer: “I’ll get a bucket of popcorn and a large bottle of water.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but the bucket can only be purchased with one or two large fountain drinks.”

(The customer is visibly upset.)

Customer: “I just want a bucket of popcorn and a water. Why is that so hard to understand?”

Me: “If you’d really prefer the bucket, you have the option to purchase a large fountain drink and fill it up with water at the drink station. It would only be fifty cents more.”

Customer: “I don’t want a cup of water. I want a bottle of water!”

Me: “Sir, the bucket is a promotional offer and can’t be sold separately.”

Customer: “Fine. Get me the d*** fountain drink.”

(The customer looks over to his friend.)

Customer: “Why does this have to be so difficult?”

(I retrieve a bucket of popcorn and a large fountain drink.)

Me: “There you are, sir. That will be fourteen dollars.”

Customer: “Where’s my bottle of water?”

Me: “Would you like the bottle as well as the cup?”

Customer: “Whatever.”

(I get the bottle of water.)

Me: “That will be nineteen dollars.”

(He paid and took the bucket and the bottle, but left the fountain drink cup, saying he didn’t want it.)

Overflowing With Problems

| Appleton, WI, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Health & Body, Popular, Rude & Risque

(I’m bagging groceries, and in the middle of an order I notice that the cashier has paused, and is delicately holding up an item she has grabbed out of the shopping cart. She turns to the customer, and the following exchange happens.)

Coworker: “Ma’am, there appears to be something on this. Did you want a new one? Or…”

Customer: “Oh, that, yeah. My daughter had diarrhea, and it overflowed her diaper.”

(At this, my coworker and I take a closer look at the contents of the cart. It’s everywhere. My poor coworker just makes a horrified face, as she realizes she just got a handful of feces.)

Customer: “Yeah, you’re gonna clean that all up, right?”

(We are nowhere near capable of properly cleaning up what turned out to be a few dozen items coated in fecal matter (including a serious need for gloves) at the register, but she was “in a hurry” so we had to clean it up with just paper towels and the glass cleaner we use to wipe down the registers, all the while holding back the urge to vomit. Of course the customer didn’t say another word, but at least my coworker and I got relieved to go sanitize ourselves!)

Don’t Have Baggage About Types Of Baggage, Part 2

| MI, USA | At The Checkout, Language & Words, Popular

(I am a cashier at a local grocery store. This exchange happens between the customer and my bagger.)

Bagger: “Sir, would you like paper or plastic?”

Customer: “Either way works; I’m bag-sexual.”

Me: *stifled laughter*

Don’t Have Baggage About Types Of Baggage

I’m Not Here All The Time

| ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre

Me: “Would you like to sign up to receive our coupons?”

Customer: “No, it’s okay. I’m in here all the time.”

Me: “Oh, so then you might want the coupons then, because they are exclusive to the people who sign up and they give you certain percentages off your purchases.”

Customer: “No, I wouldn’t use them. I hardly ever shop here.”

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