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Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

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Putting The Selfish Into Selfie

| Edinburgh, Scotland, UK | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Time

(I make the mistake of visiting a very popular coffee shop at a busy time. After more than 10 minutes I am second in the queue behind a teenage girl already holding a coffee from another shop, and there are at least 15 more customers waiting behind me.)

Customer: *stares blankly at the barista*

Barista: “What can I get you?”

Customer: “Oh! I don’t know… Give me a second.” *pause* “Can I get, like, a muffin?”

Barista: *clearly already very stressed by the amount of people waiting* “We have banana, chocolate chip, blueberry, pumpkin, and lemon. Which one?”

Customer: “Oh, uh… I don’t know. Blueberry?”

Barista: *swiftly gets muffin out of case and puts it on the counter, trying to speed up the transaction* “Is that everything for you today?”

Customer: “Uh, hang on.”

(She then proceeds to grab the muffin, take out her phone, and TAKE A SELFIE with her pastry. Still not finished, she logs on to social media, filters and captions the photo, and finally posts it before turning back to the now shaking-with-rage barista.)

Customer: “Okay. Can I get, like, a [very complicated dessert drink with numerous substitutions]?”

Barista: *eyes twitching* “[Total].”

(Back on her phone, she takes her time finding her money before flouncing off after her friends.)

Me: *to Barista* “I am so sorry you had to put up with that. And I’m sorry that I didn’t slap her. Just one medium coffee for me, please, and keep the change.”

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You Lose At Winning

| NE, USA | At The Checkout, Popular

(With the huge lottery jackpot, we’ve gotten quite a few customers in who are unfamiliar with how lottery works. I’m naturally sarcastic and with the hoards of customers, I’m getting a little snarky.)

Customer: “I’ll have a lottery ticket!”

Me: “Sorry, we just sold out.”

Customer: “Really?”

Me: “No, just kidding.” *sells lottery ticket, proceeds to the next customer* “What can I get for you?”

Customer #2: “The winning lottery numbers!”

Me: “Okay…” *touches a couple buttons, then hands the print out to the customer*

Customer: “What’s this?”

Me: “The winning lottery numbers.”

Customer #2: “But these were for the last drawing!”

Me: “You weren’t specific.”

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The Gift Card That Keeps On Giving, Part 2

| Winnipeg, MB, Canada | At The Checkout, Money

(I am the cashier at a dollar store. Three guys come up to my till with a heaping basket of groceries. I ring up and bag all their items, and the total comes up to just over $50, so roughly 40 items. Note that we only take debit and cash, not credit.)

Me: “All right, so that will be $50.50.”

Guy #1: “Okay, it’ll be on a Visa gift card.”

Me: *a little skeptical* “Um, okay, but I don’t think the Visa will work. We only take debit and—”

Guy #1: “It’s a Visa gift card. It will work. Oh wait; I only have $35 on this, so I’ll do the rest in cash.”

Me: “Oh, okay. Well, I’m going to need the cash first.”

(Guy #2 then hands Guy #1 a $50 bill from his wallet, which I notice is full of other bills.)

Me: *noticing the $50 bill* “Oh, so do you want to pay this in cash?”

Guy #1: “No, just the $15.50.”

Me: *a little confused* “Oh, all right.”

(I enter that he will be paying $15.50 in cash, then press the debit/credit button.)

Me: “Okay, I don’t think it will work, but I guess you can give it a try.”

(They swipe the card. It doesn’t go through.)

Me: “Yeah, I don’t think even the gift card will work. This machine doesn’t take Visa credit.”

Guy #3: “Is it all right if we take some stuff off?”

(At this point in the transaction, we can’t go back and void anything, so I call my manager, who ends up entering that they paid the rest of the amount in cash, without them actually paying anything, then rescanning all the items as if to return them. Then, they decide to take some stuff off.)

Me: “Yeah, sorry about this guys. The machine only accepts gift cards for our store, and doesn’t accept Visa whatsoever. Now, what would you like to take off?”

(Then they begin selecting items to take off, and since they are taking off several, I begin to think that they’re planning to pay in cash, and are just making sure that they have enough. I start scanning the items again.)

Guy #1: *waving his gift card* “Boy, I sure hope this works this time.”

Me: “Um, the gift card isn’t going to work in the machine.”

Guy #1: “Are you serious?”

Guy #3: *to the other guys* “Well, can we get $10 in stuff?”

Guy #2: “No, we don’t have enough cash.” *even though his wallet was full of it*

Guy #1: *to me* “Well, I guess we aren’t getting any of this stuff.”

Guy #3: “Yeah, we can’t get anything now, and for the record, you didn’t really verify that we couldn’t use the gift card.”

Me: *almost speechless* “Um, well, sorry guys. Have a good day.”

(They leave all their bagged groceries on the counter. Guess who had to run around the store putting them all away?)

Related:
The Gift Card That Keeps Giving

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A Catalog Of Errors

| Christchurch, New Zealand | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

(A customer comes in with an old catalogue and discovers the item he wants is no longer that price.)

Me: “Sorry, sir, that catalogue ended three-days ago. See the start and end dates on the front?

Customer: “I don’t give a f*** about where you’ve got dates. The price is in writing so you have to honour it! I know my rights!”

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Her Consideration Has Totally Checked Out

| Chicago, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

(There are four self-checkout stations in this store; customers line up in one line for all four then go to whichever one is available. I am first in line with one gentleman behind me when a woman walks around us and stands directly behind another customer at the checkout. She stands so close that the other customer can barely move.)

Customer: *to me* “Oh, were you in line?”

Gentleman: “Yes, I am in line already and this young lady is ahead of both of us.”

Customer: *grinning* “I’m sorry!” *points to another checkout being used by another customer* “Look, that one’s open, you can go over there!”

Me: “Ma’am, there’s a man there still ringing up his groceries.”

Customer: “Oh! Well, sorry!”

(The customer grins again and moves even closer to the woman at the checkout, so that her chest is almost touching the woman’s back.)

Me: *to gentleman behind me* “You deal with her if you want. She’s in a bigger hurry than I am and I am in no mood for her brand of crazy.”

Gentleman: “Me neither!”

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