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Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

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The Family Business Is None Of Yours

| Gulf Shores, AL, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Popular

(I am watering plants, when a customer approaches the cashier. The customer is quite rude, arguing about prices, insisting the cashier is trying to rip her off, insulting her, and demanding a discount because she knows the manager, Mark. I merely smile and keep watering. The cashier is very polite and cheerful throughout.)

Customer: “Well, I want you to know that I’m never shopping here again! What happened to all the good cashiers that used to work out here? They’ve replaced them with a disrespectful jerk like you!”

Cashier: “Ma’am, I’ve been at this store, in this department, for three years.”

Customer: “Oh, well…”

Cashier: “Yes, perhaps our paths just haven’t crossed?”

Customer: “Oh, I guess. I don’t usually come in on Tuesdays.”

(The cashier tactfully doesn’t reply that she comes in four days a week and sometimes more, if we need her.)

Customer: “But that doesn’t matter! I’m going to tell Mark that you wouldn’t give me my discount!”

Cashier: “John.”

Customer: “Excuse me?”

Cashier: “I said John. Mark hasn’t been the manager for over a year, since he was caught giving out unauthorized discounts.”

Customer: “Oh. Oh! Well, you… just wait! I’ll tell him, then!”

Cashier: “Of course, but before you do, you should probably know that he’s my stepfather.”

Customer: “F***!” *storms out*

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The Cold Reality Of Drinking Alone

| Berkeley, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

(I have had a long day at work and am stopping by a sake brewery on my way home to pick up some for the weekend.)

Me:” I’d like one… no, make that two large bottles of plum sake.”

Salesman: *while bagging my order* “How are you going to drink that?”

Me: *assuming he is asking how I can manage to drink three liters of sake on my own* “Hey! I have friends!”

Salesman: “I prefer to drink it warm, but some people like to drink it cold.”

(Turns out he was asking at what temperature I was going to serve it!)

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Too Taxing For Them To Understand

| ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Technology

(About once a month, the grocery store I work at holds a sale event called “No Tax Day” where the store pays the taxes for the day. There’s no real way for our system to do this automatically. I work the U-Scan machines. At every machine, we have a large, bold sign telling customers to hit the help button when they’re finished scanning so the attendant can remove their taxes for them. Despite this, most customers do not. I try to catch as many as I can before the customer gets a chance to hit the payment button, and some sorts of payment I can cancel from my station to take off the taxes. The debit/credit machines, however, have to be cancelled from their pinpads.)

Customer: *hits the debit button and begins debit payment*

Me: *notices, rushes over, pulls out her card and puts it down, and hits the cancel button on the pinpad* “Ma’am, if you’ll give me just a moment, I can take off your taxes for you before you pay.” *taps the sign*

(I rushed back to my station, which only took a moment. By the time I got there, she’d already begun her debit transaction again.)