icon_checkout

Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

Cash Back Attack

| Australia | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Technology

Me: “Hello, just letting you know that our EFTPOS is currently unavailable. Will you be able to pay by cash?”

Customer: “Yeah, no problem.”

(Serves groceries:)

Customer: “May I please have cash out?”

Me: “Umm… What? No, our EFTPOS is down.”

Customer: “Oh, but I have my Mastercard.”

Espresso On Expresso

| MO, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(I work for a coffee shop franchise where the goal is to get the customer their drive-thru order in one minute or less, from the time they order at the menu board to handing it out the window.)

Me: “Welcome, what can I get started for you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I just need this drink really fast… Can you just make me a really fast small iced mocha?”

Me: “I sure can. Would you like any extra shots of espresso? It only comes with one.”

Customer: “No, I just need it really fast… Oh, and can I get an extra shot?”

Me: *annoyed because she’s wasting her own time* “Sure thing. I’ll see you at the window.”

Customer: *now at the window* “How much is it?”

(I give her the total, which was something like $4.03. She begins to rummage around in her purse.)

Customer: “I’m sorry. How much was it?”

(I give her the total again.)

Customer: “Oh, okay.” *pulls out her cup-holder of change* “Um, how much was it?”

(I give her the total for the THIRD time.)

Customer: “Awesome!” *hands me $5*

Customer: *as I begin counting her change* “Could you please hurry? I just need my coffee really fast.”

(I am so done at this point. I hand her the drink, which has been sitting next to me for the last 45 seconds because I’ve been waiting on her.)

Customer: “Thanks!” *peels out driving away*

Me: “…Thanks for the tip?”

Sales End, But Stupidity Is Forever

| Canada | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

(I work at a clothing store where we had a sale that ended a couple of weeks prior to this day. Customer comes to the register and throws the blouse on the counter. She starts to tell me about her purchase the week we had the sale, and tells me she got a price adjustment, because she bought a blouse just a couple days prior to the sale.)

Customer: “I want to pay the sale price for this.”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “This was cheaper a couple of weeks ago. So, I want to pay that price.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but our sale is over.”

Customer: “You don’t get it. I WANT to buy a new blouse and I WANT pay the sale price.”

Me: “I understand. Like you mentioned before, you got a price adjustment for the prior blouse you bought, but the sale is now over.”

Customer: “No, you don’t understand. I don’t want to pay the regular price. I want the sale price. I want to buy this new blouse for the sale price.”

Me: “I understand, but when our sales are over, the clothing goes back to our regular price. Therefore, I cannot grant you a sale price if the sale is over. As you told me before, you were able to get a price adjustment for the same blouse you bought, but if you want to purchase a new blouse, it must be paid in full price, because the sale is now over. You’re more than welcome to give us a call next week and check with us for any sales, or if this blouse happens to go on sale again, you may get the price adjusted.”

Customer: “No, you REALLY don’t get it. I don’t understand why you can’t give me the sale price. But, I’ll just pay for it.”

Barking Orders

| Cape Town, South Africa | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals, Popular

(I am a customer at a supermarket. I watch this scene unfold at the checkout. It’s extremely busy and there are long lines at all the checkouts. The customer in front of me is a middle-aged woman.)

Customer: “Please, please hurry! You’re so slow. I’ve left my dog in my car, and it’s so terribly hot.”

(It’s actually a cool, cloudy day. As the employee scans the large number of items in her trolley as fast as she possibly can, the customer keeps muttering about her dog and how slow she is.)

Customer: “Wait! Isn’t there a discount on this item? It’s showing [amount] on the display, but there’s supposed to be a special offer of [amount] off.”

Employee: “Yes, ma’am, if you just look at the line below:” *indicating the display*

Customer: *ignoring her* “No, you’re wrong. I’ll prove it! Wait a minute.”

(She rushes off into the supermarket, leaving the whole line standing and waiting. She’s gone a long time, and everyone is showing signs of impatience. Eventually she comes back carrying the price tag and special offer notice that she’s ripped off the shelf.)

Customer: “You see! There’s supposed to be a discount of [amount].”

Employee: “Yes, ma’am. There’s the discount correctly shown on the line below the item.” *she shows her on the display*

(After much peering she reluctantly agrees.)

Customer: “Wait! Here’s my loyalty card. Oh, my poor dog! He’s waiting for me in that hot car.”

(She fishes around in her purse for some time before producing her loyalty card.)

Customer: *repacking a bag* “No, don’t put that in this bag.” *she fusses around, transferring items from one bag to another*

Employee: “Your total is [amount].”

(She spends some time looking slowly through her wallet before she produces a credit card.)

Customer: “And I’d like [amount] cash back, please.”

(The employee processes the transaction and hands her her cash back. With a look of relief, the employee turns to me, next in line.)

Customer: “Wait! You gave me all hundreds. Can you please give me two fifties instead of this hundred? I need some change.”

Employee: “I’ve already closed the drawer ma’am. You’ll have to wait until it opens for the next transaction.”

Customer: “You’re so slow and inefficient. Don’t you know that I have a dog waiting in my hot car?”

Customer Behind Me: *coming forward* “Here, I’ve got change for you.”

(He handed her two fifties for her hundred and she finally left, still muttering about the dog in the hot car. I quickly finished checking out, and walked out into the parking lot. I walked past the customer, busy putting her bags into her car. There was no dog in the car.)

Threatened By Your Own Threat

| Tacoma, WA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Popular

(It’s a typical busy time with folks who’ve just gotten off from work dropping by to grab smokes, beer, drinks, snacks, or other sundries on their way home. A man who appears to be, at the most, 21 years old has approached the counter asking for cigarettes but doesn’t have any ID on him. The typical bouts of arguing and cussing from him followed by me stating it’s policy and I have to card him ensues, up until he pulls out his phone and brandishes it at me like a weapon.)

Customer: “All right, let’s try this in a way that you might understand. I’m a personal friend of the head honcho of this chain. I press a few numbers on my phone, say a few words to him, and he will literally give me the order to fire you and boot you out the door myself!”

(A pause ensues as I try to process if he’s being serious.)

Customer: “Hey, you listening to me? Give me the d*** smokes or your worthless a** is going to be hitting the pavement outside.”

(I lean to the side and look at the line behind him.)

Me: “Sir, do you know how to run the register here?”

Customer: “Huh?”

Me: “Have you been trained in the pricing of items or our stock?”

Customer: “What? No!”

Me: “Do you know the codes to our safe? How to make change? How to mop and clean the store? How to lock up?”

Customer: “I just said, no!”

Me: “Then I feel I should point out that if you do get me fired there will be no one to ring up you or any of the folk behind you as it’s just me running the store today. Kick me out and you’ll basically be ensuring no one can buy anything from here, meaning you’ll also have to send everyone away empty handed and probably lose the store a lot of money. I don’t think your friend will like that.”

(The customer pauses and looks again at the growing number of folks, many of whom are now looking rather annoyed.)

Man In Line: “I just finished a 12-hour shift. All I want is to buy some beer, go home, and relax. If you’re going to tell me I can’t do that simply because of your own incompetence in not bringing ID then your friend, the head honcho, is going to be getting a very strongly-worded complaint. Probably it’ll be more than one considering how many of us are waiting for you to finish your business!”

(Several other customers voice their agreement, causing the problem customer to scowl.)

Customer: “Man, f*** this! I’m not wasting any more time here!”

(He storms out and I start serving the man who spoke up.)

Me: “Just goes to show most folks like him don’t actually think about the logistics of their threats before screaming their heads off. After all, if it weren’t for us lowly workers they’d have to be the ones doing all these menial jobs.”

Page 53/352First...5152535455...Last
« Previous
RANDOM
Next »