Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

Change (In Attitude) Required

| ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Money, Popular

(I work as a cashier at a grocery store, and during my first three shifts, a more experienced cashier shadows me to make sure everything goes fine. This happens the second night on the job.)

Me: “So, your total comes to [total].”

Customer: *hands me $1.75 more than total*

Me: “Okay, so your change is $1.75.”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “I gave you [$3 more than total].”

Me: “Sir, I still have what you gave me in my hand. You gave me [$1.75 more than total].”

(I show him what he gave me and I shows he didn’t have any other change.)

Customer: “You need to learn how to count your money and do your job!”

Supervisor: “Sir, [My Name] is more than capable of counting her money and she is doing her job. Now, are you going to take the $1.75 and stop bothering her on her second day of work, or do I need to call [Boss] and tell him you’re harassing his workers when they’re doing their job correctly?”

Customer: *mutters under his breath as he takes his change and bags his items*

Me: “Thank you and have a nice day!” *turns to supervisor* “Thank you for that.”

Supervisor: “Welcome to customer service.”

Next Customer: “You guys need to be paid more.”

Comes With Extra Salty Fries

| UT, USA | At The Checkout, Language & Words, Rude & Risque

(So, it’s the beginning of the lunch rush. After serving one customer I get on to the next, a stoic man in plaid.)

Me: “Welcome to [Restaurant]. What can I get for you today?”

Customer: “Yeah, I’d like a number one condom, medium, please.”

(I don’t know if he noticed, but I had to try very hard not to say something. Or repeat his mistake.)

Tax Is Never Rewarding

| Houston, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

(A customer is buying two reams of paper for $10.)

Me: “Do you have a rewards card with us, sir?”

Customer: “Yes, I do. My phone is [phone number].”

Me: “Okay, thank you. Your total is $10.83.”

Customer: “Why are you charging me 83 cents?”

Me: *I want to look at him like he’s dumb* “Taxes?”

Customer: “Then what is that rewards card for? Shouldn’t it take off the taxes?”

Making Daddy Proud

| Pasadena, MD, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Popular

(At my store, whenever a customer does a return it usually takes two-three business days before the bank refunds the money. There is nothing we can do on our end, since the transaction is considered closed.)

Customer: *storms up to my counter* “I demand to see a manager.”

Me: “That would be me, sir. How can I help?”

Customer: “I said a MAN-ager.”

Me: *I am a 5’3” woman* “I am the MAN-ager, sir. How may I help?”

Customer: “Fine. I returned something yesterday, and the money isn’t in my account.”

Me: “What time did the return take place?”

Customer: “Like, 6-ish.”

Me: “Okay, normal return time is around two-three business days, but since you did the return after normal bank hours it may take a bit longer.”

Customer: “Ugh! Typical woman, always trying to take a man’s money.”

(This comment has pushed my buttons and I fail to stop my mouth.)

Me: “I don’t need your money; I have my own, thanks.”

Customer: “Yeah, I bet daddy gave it to you.”

Me: *stone faced* “My dad’s dead.”

Customer: *embarrassed* “Uh… well, I um, bet your boyfriend gives you money.”

Me: “I’m gay, and single.”

Customer: “I, uh…” *quickly leaves*

Coworker: *turns to me* “I didn’t know your dad was dead.”

Me: “He’s not. I just throw that at them, because they don’t know how to handle it. But, I am gay and single.”

In For A Penny…

| MI, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Money, Popular

(I am working as a bank teller at a bank branch near our city’s mall, so a lot of my customers are mall employees either making deposits, getting change for their stores, or cashing their paychecks. I am waiting on a newer employee from of the men’s clothing stores, and since I didn’t know his name yet I had been referring to him (in my head) as Tie Guy.)

Me: “Hi, what can I do for you today?”

Tie Guy: “I just need to get my paycheck cashed, please.”

Me: “No problem, it’ll be just a minute.” *I process his check through the computer* “Would you like it back any certain way?” *I always ask because some customers are extremely picky about their money*

Tie Guy: *jokingly* “American currency is fine.”

(I reach under my counter and pull out a $10 box of rolled pennies, which is pretty heavy and makes a loud thud when it hits the countertop.)

Me: *also jokingly* “I hope you brought a suitcase then. It’s going to take a lot of boxes.”

(Tie Guy just stares at the box, and then me for a few seconds, then starts laughing.)

Tie Guy: “Maybe I should be more specific next time?”

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