icon_checkout

Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

Overflowing With Problems

| Appleton, WI, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Health & Body, Popular, Rude & Risque

(I’m bagging groceries, and in the middle of an order I notice that the cashier has paused, and is delicately holding up an item she has grabbed out of the shopping cart. She turns to the customer, and the following exchange happens.)

Coworker: “Ma’am, there appears to be something on this. Did you want a new one? Or…”

Customer: “Oh, that, yeah. My daughter had diarrhea, and it overflowed her diaper.”

(At this, my coworker and I take a closer look at the contents of the cart. It’s everywhere. My poor coworker just makes a horrified face, as she realizes she just got a handful of feces.)

Customer: “Yeah, you’re gonna clean that all up, right?”

(We are nowhere near capable of properly cleaning up what turned out to be a few dozen items coated in fecal matter (including a serious need for gloves) at the register, but she was “in a hurry” so we had to clean it up with just paper towels and the glass cleaner we use to wipe down the registers, all the while holding back the urge to vomit. Of course the customer didn’t say another word, but at least my coworker and I got relieved to go sanitize ourselves!)

Don’t Have Baggage About Types Of Baggage, Part 2

| MI, USA | At The Checkout, Language & Words, Popular

(I am a cashier at a local grocery store. This exchange happens between the customer and my bagger.)

Bagger: “Sir, would you like paper or plastic?”

Customer: “Either way works; I’m bag-sexual.”

Me: *stifled laughter*

Related:
Don’t Have Baggage About Types Of Baggage

I’m Not Here All The Time

| ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre

Me: “Would you like to sign up to receive our coupons?”

Customer: “No, it’s okay. I’m in here all the time.”

Me: “Oh, so then you might want the coupons then, because they are exclusive to the people who sign up and they give you certain percentages off your purchases.”

Customer: “No, I wouldn’t use them. I hardly ever shop here.”

Not Going To Have A Nice Day With That Attitude

| UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Popular

(I work at a retail store at the far end of town as a retail assistant. I’m currently serving a little old lady and we’re making small talk.)

Me: “Hi! How are you today?”

Old Lady: *chirpily* “Oh, not so bad, feeling a bit so-so today.”

(We continue to make small talk as I scan her item, everything seems to be going smoothly right until the last moment.)

Me: “…and here is your receipt and change! Have a nice day—”

Old Lady: *outbursts* “THIS ISN’T BLOODY AMERICA YOU KNOW!”

Me: “I… what?”

Old Lady: “I WANT YOU TO APOLOGISE FOR WHAT YOU JUST SAID! TELLING ME TO HAVE A NICE BLOODY DAY!”

Me: *shocked but trying to stay focused* “I’m sorry for telling you to have a nice day…?”

Old Lady: “Good! Now make sure you don’t say it again!”

(She stormed off in a huff.)

A Junior Burger Becomes A Big Problem

| NC, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Funny Names, Popular

(I work at a fast food joint where I mostly operate drive-thru. As any other restaurant, we have a large menu based on the outside for customers to see.)

Me: “Welcome to [Restaurant]. What can I get for you?”

Customer: “Get me two hamburgers.”

Me: “All right, sir, would you like our quarter pound size burger, or the junior sized burger?”

Customer: “…I don’t know your lingo, sir. I guess the quarter pound single, then. Two of them.”

Me: “All right, sir, that will be seven dollars and ten cents at your second window.”

Customer: “Whoa, now. That’s way too much! That isn’t what I wanted!”

Me: “So you would like the two junior hamburgers instead?”

Customer: “Yes, that’s what I want! Jesus.”

Me: “All right, that will be two dollars and fifteen cents. Thank you.”

(The customer pulls around:)

Me: “Two dollars and fifteen cents, please.”

Customer: “I don’t know your lingo here. You guys really need to put up a sign or something out there that tells me exactly what you have and the difference between each entry.”

Me: “With all due respect, sir, we have a large menu just behind the speaker that does just that.”

Customer: *mouth drops open and skin turns red* “Tell your manager that you’re gonna be looking for a new job soon!” *angrily drives away*

Page 52/352First...5051525354...Last