Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

Momentarily Shocked

| Hudson, WI, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Time

(I’m working the drive-thru at my job, and like many of our lunch rushes, we end up getting slammed that day. Since I’m the only one wearing the headset, I have to put a few customers waiting to place an order on hold.)

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Restaurant]! I’ll be with you in just a moment.”

Customer: “Okay.” *short pause* “Your moment’s up.”

(I’m startled into a brief silence. I’m fairly certain the guy was joking, but in the middle of a rush, I’m never in the mood for jokes.)

Me: *slowly* “Fine. I’ll be with you in thirty seconds.”

Customer: “That’s better.”

(I was actually ready to take their order about ten seconds after that. But because they decided to pull that rude joke, I counted down to exactly thirty seconds before actually taking their order.)

Swan Song

Stillwater, OK, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Family & Kids, Pets & Animals

(As I approach the register, the customer in front of me is just stepping away. His daughter, who appears to be about seven or eight years old, starts informing the cashier of the environmental dangers of plastic bags.)

Girl: “…and if one of them gets into the water it will kill a swan.”

Cashier: *trying to humor her* “Really?”

Girl: “Yes, I’ve seen it happen.”

Dad: *realizing his child is not beside him* “Come on! Leave the cashier alone.”

(The cashier rings up my purchase.)

Cashier: “Would you like a bag with that?”

Me: “Yes. Even though it might kill a swan.”

Cashier: *without missing a beat* “She’s seen it happen.”

Double The Trouble

| Philadelphia, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

Customer: “What’s the difference between the single fajita and the double fajita?”

Me: “The single one is for one person, where the double is usually shared as it is double the meat.”

Customer: “So you get two fajitas with the double?”

Me: “Well, no. It’s just double the meat on the skillet, which two or more people usually share.”

Customer: “So, it’s two skillets.”

Me: “No, it’s one skillet but it has double the meat.”

Customer: “So it’s meant for one person?”

Me: “No, it’s usually shared. You can have one for yourself, but it’s traditionally split.”

Customer: “So it comes on two skillets?”

Me: “No. One skillet. Double meat.”

Customer: “Okay, we want a double chicken fajita, but on separate skillets.”

Me: “So… two single chicken fajitas?”

Customer: “Yes, that sounds perfect!”

Message Receipted

| Perth, WA, Australia | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Bizarre

(I work in drive-thru at a well-known fast food store and I always ask the customer if they want their receipt to make the transaction go quicker.)

Me: “Would you like your receipt today?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: *hands them the receipt*

Customer: *looks me dead in the eye and drops the receipt on the ground and drives away without breaking eye contact*

The Price Very Gradually Goes Down

| FL, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money, Popular

(I’m the clueless customer, and have had a long day at work myself. I am dealing with “Teenitude” from my loving offspring and purchasing Teacher Appreciation gifts for said offspring’s teachers, so I am feeling VERY overwhelmed. A WONDERFUL associate has helped offspring and me pick out and find matching scents for sets.)

Cashier: “WOW! That’s a lot of sanitizer and lotion.”

Me: “Oh, just a few gifts for the teachers and staff at [Offspring’s School]. It’s Teacher Appreciation Week next week.” *smiles*

Cashier: “That is so nice of you. Looks like you have more than enough to qualify for some current discounts and specials. Do we send you e-mails?”

Me: “Yes, I get them all the time.” *still smiling*

Cashier: “Do you have your smart-phone with you?”

Me: “Yes.” *still smiling but not moving*

Cashier: *looking at me expectantly* “Can you pull up one of our emails?”

Me: “Uh… sure.” *confused*

Cashier: *sees [Company] email header, types a bit on her register* “Okay, great! Your total is [$50 less than original amount].”

Me: “Oh, my god!” *realization finally dawning on me* “Thank you!”

(Having in the past worked for another branch of the parent company I SHOULD have known in order to receive the discounts, she HAD to see at least one of the email offers. Thank you, super-helpful associates, for being so kind, understanding and walking me through my blonde moment without making me feel like a complete idiot. I referred her to Not Always Right.)

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