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Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

That’s How The Cookie Change Crumbles

| Lahore, Pakistan | At The Checkout, Money

(I’m at a really popular fast food restaurant that sells sandwiches as subs. I’m here to buy only a cookie as they sell really good cookies and the store is right next to my house. I have borrowed some money from my mother for the cookie and she has given me all the change she has because she didn’t want it!)

Me: “Hello!”

Cashier: “Good day, sir.”

Me: “I want a chocolate chip cookie.”

Cashier: “How many, sir?”

Me: “Just the one.”

Cashier: “That’ll be 80 rupees.” *approximately $0.80*

(I look around the shop to see if anyone’s looking, then proceed to drop 80 rupees worth of coins on to the counter. They make a little more noise than I thought and everyone stares at me.)

Cashier: *wide-eyed* “Seriously?”

Me: “Hey, if you feel bad, imagine what I’m going through. Everyone here is staring at me because my mom refused to give me proper money!”

Shot Down His Chances

| USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal

(A younger guy picks out a shotgun to buy so we proceed to paperwork.)

Me: *looking at his ID* “Is this your current address?”

Customer: “Not anymore! Just moved back from [University] into my old place [Next Town Over].”

Me: “Okay, do you have anything with your new address? Car registration, hunting/fishing license, etc.?”

Customer: “Not at the moment. I just moved.”

Me: “Well, we can’t sell the gun to you unless you have a valid address.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, that’s my current address, then.”

Me: “That doesn’t work.”

(I deny the sale; he gets angry and leaves. Later I see him filling out paperwork.)

Me: “Did you get a new ID?”

Customer: *happily* “Nope! Just told [Coworker] it’s my current address!”

Me: “Okay…” *goes to the gun vault, finds coworker* “Hey, you getting that shotgun for that guy at the counter?”

Coworker: “Yeah, why?”

Me: “Can’t do it; he doesn’t have a valid license.”

(We deny him the sale again.)

Customer: *yelling* “THIS IS BULL-S***! I’M GONNA GO TO [Sporting Store down the road] AND BUY IT FROM THEM! AND I THOUGHT THIS WAS F****** AMERICA!”

Me: “Good luck with that.”

(I call up the place down the road and inform them of the customer. No surprise, he comes back, red in the face.)

Customer: “WHO RUNS THIS F****** PLACE?!”

Manager: “What’s the matter, sir?”

(The customer tells his story, but my manager stops him short.)

Manager: “You tried to knowingly break the law while also trying to convince my employees to break the law as well? I’m going to have to ask you to leave right now.”

Customer: “BUT TH—”

Manager: “And if you don’t leave or you try to pull this s*** again in the near future, I will not hesitate to call the police.”

(We never saw the customer again.)

Won’t Make Any Concessions

| OH, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Movies & TV

(I work in a movie theater in a relatively small urban area; we have two ticket booths at the entrance of the complex and a concessions stand that occupies the back of the lobby. The ticket booths are only open when we’re busy, so each one has a large signs that say TICKETS MAY BE PURCHASED AT CONCESSIONS STAND. A customer comes in between shows, when the lobby is empty and I am the only employee not on break. He stands in front of an empty ticket booth for about five minutes before I call out to him.)

Me: “Sir? Can I help you with anything?”

Customer: *ignores me*

Me: *after another few minutes* “Sir? You can purchase your tickets here at the concessions stand.”

Customer: *again, ignores me*

(After what must be fifteen more minutes, he approaches the concessions stand.)

Customer: *angrily* “What the h*** is wrong with this place? I’ve been waiting twenty minutes and nobody’s there to sell me a ticket!”

Me: “I’m sorry about that wait time, sir. What show are you interested in? I can sell you tickets right here at the concessions stand.”

Customer: “No, I don’t want anything to eat. Everything here is too expensive. Get in the booth and sell me a ticket.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I’m not allowed in the booth. But I can sell you a ticket right here; I just need to know what show you’d like to see.”

Customer: *loudly* “I don’t want anything to eat!”

Me: “Yes, sir, I understand that, but—”

Customer: *even louder* “I. DON’T. WANT. ANYTHING. TO. EAT!”

(At this point, one of my managers has heard him shouting and comes out from the office.)

Manager: “[My Name], is there is a problem out here?”

Me: “No, just—”

Customer: “Yes! There’s definitely a problem! I want to see [Current Popular Movie], but there’s no one in the ticket booth!”

Manager: “Yes, we only open the booths when we’re very busy. You can buy tickets here at the stand, though; [My Name] will get you whatever you need.”

Customer: *quickly, almost cutting my manager off* “I don’t want anything to eat!”

Manager: “That’s fine, sir. We don’t only sell food here at the stand, we also handle ticketing.”

Customer: “Oh. Are you SURE I can get tickets here?”

Manager & Me: “Yes, sir.”

Customer: “Well, okay. I’d like one to [Movie] at [time].”

Me: “You may have missed the beginning; are you sure you’d like that time? We have another showing starting in about an hour.”

Customer: “No, I want [current show].”

Me: “All right. That will be [price].”

(I process his ticket order and, out of habit, ask before I run his card:)

Me: “Is there anything else I can get for you today?”

Customer: *after a pause* “Actually, yeah. Let me get a large popcorn.”