Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

The Gift Card That Keeps On Giving

| Lafayette, LA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Popular

(Most purchases at my store are usually between $100 and $300. The higher purchases are usually for firearms and ammunition. Customers can place any amount they want on our gift cards, but those amounts usually vary between $20 and $100. One day, a customer comes up to my register with a cart full of fishing gear, including two $300 coolers. I ring him up.)

Me: “That’ll be [amount over $1500].”

(He smiles and hands me a gift card. He has a whole stack of them in his hands. I hold out my hand for the rest, but he holds onto the stack. I scan the first card, which takes $250 off his purchase.)

Me: “Okay, you owe [amount over $1250].”

(He smiles and hands me a second card.)

Me: Okay, now you owe [amount over $1000].

(He smiles and hands another card.)

Me: “[Amount over $750].”

(I am gathering a stack of used gift cards on top of my register at this point, and we’re only halfway through the stack still in his hands. He hands me the next card.)

Me: “[Amount over $500].”

(He hands me another card.)

Me: “[Amount over $250].”

(He hands me his second-to-last card.)

Me: “[Amount around $50.]”

(He hands me his last card. By this point, we’re both laughing.)

Me: “And you have [amount around 200] left on this card.” *I hand him his last gift card and a receipt.* “Have a good one!”

They’re Winging It

, | MD, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

Me: “Hey, how are you doing?”

Customer: “I’m not ready yet!”

(We’re trained to greet the customer, ask for his or her name, then proceed through the order, so I wait for twenty seconds or so.)

Me: “Could I have your name, please?”

Customer: “Don’t rush me!”

(A minute later.)

Customer: “I’d like wings.”

Me: “All right, could I have your name for the order, please?”

Customer: “I’m not done yet!”

Me: “We ask for the name at the beginning of the order.”

Customer: “[Name].”

Me: “All right, [Name], do you want a combo or just the wings?”

Customer: “Just wings.”

Me: “Okay, how many would you like?”

Customer: “Ten.”

Me: “All right, [Name], and will those be boneless or regular wings?”

Customer: “I want the wings.”

Me: “Yes, boneless or regular?”

Customer: “Yeah, hot.”

Me: *louder* “Boneless or regular?”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Regular wings are the… regular… wings, like drumsticks and flats. Boneless wings are… without bone.”

Customer: “Yeah, the regular wings. That’s what I said!”

Some Passive Aggressiveness Is On The Menu

| GA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Popular

(I am a kitchen manager for a popular donut chain and often work the drive-thru window taking orders. It seems people don’t know that prices were on the menu board.)

Me: “America runs on [Restaurant]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “How much is [food item]?”

Me: “Just a second; let me check.”

(I walk out the back door and stand between the customer in her car and the menu board and look at the price. While still standing there I push the button on my headset and say:)

Me: “It’s [price]. Would you like a coffee with that?”

(When I got back inside, the store manager, who also had a headset on, was dying laughing. When the lady got to the window she never said a word.)

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You Say Tomato, I Say Refund

, | Ottawa, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(I am a part-time head-cashier [supervisor] at a grocery store, and any returns need my password before the computer accepts a return.)

Me: “Oh-la!” *answering my phone with my signature hello for coworkers*

Cashier: “I need an override for a refund.”

(I walk over to customer service cash to  ask the cashier what is being return and why.)

Cashier: “Moldy.” *she points to the baguette, half of which is missing*

Customer: “It tastes like mold. That’s why I am returning it. I made my lunch with this bread this morning with it, and I can taste mold.”

Me: “Oh, I am so sorry about that. Do you want another baguette to replace it or just your money back?”

Customer #1: “My money, please.”

Me: *I type in my password, process the return, and print out a receipt for the customer* “If I can a signature here, we are good to go. Have a nice day.” *the customer signs and I start to walk away*

Customer #1: “Wait a minute. Aren’t you going to refund my sandwich meat and slice of tomato and slice of cheese?”

Me: “Excuse me?” *I ask myself in shock: did I forget to refund other items?*

Customer #1: “The tomato slice, cheese slice, and meat from my sandwich. The meat and tomato slice, cheese slice on the f****** moldy baguette, that you sold me!”

Me: “I cannot refund for slices. But if you bring back the meat, cheese, and remaining tomato, I’ll gladly refund it all.”

Customer #1: “Why would I do that? Nothing is wrong with them! I want my f****** money for the slices on the sandwich.”

Me: “Sorry about your sandwich; we did refund the baguette. I cannot refund the slices. If you bring back the rest of cheese, sandwich meat, tomato I can gladly refund them.”

Customer #1: *grabs her phone* “You’re f****** kidding me. That was my f****** lunch. I have nothing to eat. F****** b****! You ruined my lunch! “*walks away*

Cashier: “Wow.”

Customer #2: “Oh, my god! Well, I hope you don’t get any more people like her today.”

Me: “She’s been the fourth one today. Not going to be the last.”

Time To Face The Hard Candy Truth

| Lafayette, LA, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(A woman and her family come in to buy some candy. One of her daughters is eating it before paying, but because they’re buying so much and she’s only eating one small piece, I don’t really mind. After a while, the woman comes up to pay.)

Me: “Okay, that’s [price] for yours.” *I gesture towards her daughter* “And I’ll just need to see hers real quick, too.”

Woman: “Oh, she already ate one.”

(She tries to hand me her money. I pause for a moment, trying to process the situation, and then gesture to her daughter again.)

Me: “You still need to pay for the rest of them, though.”

(The mother got mixed up between letting me know her daughter had eaten something and actually paying for her daughter’s bag of candy.)

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