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Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

Waiting His Turn Took A Turn For Justice

| Wales, UK | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Health & Body

(I work in a biker’s cafe in a small town and a lot of the older residents come in on Wednesday for the Old Age Pensioner’s meal deal. One lady comes in who has a quite debilitating stutter and doesn’t read very well. I’m working my way through the menu with her, reading out each option until I eventually get to fish and chips and she starts nodding.)

Next Customer: “For f*** sake! Why didn’t you just say that then?!”

(I tell the woman the price and help her count out the correct change.)

Next Customer: “For f*** sake! Just give her the god-d*** food! Can’t you see she’s senile?!”

(The woman is now trying not to cry and drops her purse on the floor.)

Next Customer: “Oh, just throw her out. I’ll have a coffee.”

Me: “Can you just wait your turn please, sir.”

Next Customer: “I’m not waiting a year for the coffin dodger to finish. Give me a coffee!”

(One of the huge leather clad bikers gets up, goes over to the customer, picks him up, and takes him outside. The woman I’m serving breaths a sigh of relief and utters the first phrase I’ve heard out of her that had no hint of a stutter.)

Woman: “What a tw*t!”

I’d Like To Disorder Some Food

| England, UK | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

(To order food you order at the counter with your table number. Our pub is circular so it is easy to see which direction customers come from, which can be helpful when they don’t know their table number.)

Me: “Hi! How can I help?”

Customer: “Hello! I’d like to order some food!”

(Normally at this point I ask their table number, but she has a list and immediately ignores me when I start to ask her, and starts reading instead.)

Customer: “I’ll have two soups, please—”

Me: “Is that broccoli and Stilton, or tomato?”

Customer: “Oh I’m not sure, I’ll just check!”

(She dashes off, leaving her purse on the bar with me, so I place it closer to the till where it’s not so obvious. I generally don’t like people doing this as anyone can pinch it if it’s obscured by the till. She comes back.)

Customer: “Tomato, please! Oh, I suppose you want to know our table number?” *begins walking away again leaving her purse*

Me: “No! That’s okay; just tell me where you’re sitting.”

Customer: “The first booth.”

(Our first booth is table one, then table two/three are normal tables. Four and five are also booths. I put her down as table one.)

Me: “Okay, what else can I get for you?”

Customer: “I’ll have the chicken wrap, please—”

Me: “Okay, we have four different chicken wraps.”

(I explain them all to her. She doesn’t know.)

Customer: “Oh, sorry, hang on!”

(She runs back to her table to ask, again leaving her purse. This time I watch her. She is seated at table four, not one. I change her table number.)

Customer: “That’ll be [Wrap #2], just plain.”

(At this point I’m wary of asking her anything else, so I put a message saying ‘sauce on side.’)

Me: “Anything else for you on there?”

(She proceeds to give me an order with four more meals and then adds drinks. She doesn’t know who wants ice and questions me about which drink is which, etc.)

Customer: *waving the list* “Well, it’s a good thing I wrote it all down!”

Me: *in my head* “If only you actually had written it all down.”

(I carry on serving and a few minutes later she pops back up.)

Customer: “Oh, I gave you the wrong table number!”

Me: “Don’t worry. I changed it already so it’ll be fine. Thanks.” *in my head* “Please don’t let anything be wrong on that order!”

That’s How The Cookie Change Crumbles

| Lahore, Pakistan | At The Checkout, Money

(I’m at a really popular fast food restaurant that sells sandwiches as subs. I’m here to buy only a cookie as they sell really good cookies and the store is right next to my house. I have borrowed some money from my mother for the cookie and she has given me all the change she has because she didn’t want it!)

Me: “Hello!”

Cashier: “Good day, sir.”

Me: “I want a chocolate chip cookie.”

Cashier: “How many, sir?”

Me: “Just the one.”

Cashier: “That’ll be 80 rupees.” *approximately $0.80*

(I look around the shop to see if anyone’s looking, then proceed to drop 80 rupees worth of coins on to the counter. They make a little more noise than I thought and everyone stares at me.)

Cashier: *wide-eyed* “Seriously?”

Me: “Hey, if you feel bad, imagine what I’m going through. Everyone here is staring at me because my mom refused to give me proper money!”