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Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

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Doesn’t Appreciate The High Five

| OH, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

(I work as a cashier. Management is cracking down on miscounted drawers, so I’ve resolved to be extra careful when counting back change. This is my first customer of the day, an older woman.)

Me: “Hello, what can I get for you today?”

Customer: “Do you have any deals right now?”

Me: “We have [deal items] for a dollar from two to five.”

Customer: “Let me get three of those and a [dessert].”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, your total is $3.99.”

(The woman rummages through her purse, and then scowls.)

Customer: “I guess I’ll just have to give you this.”

(The woman hands me a $50 bill. My eyes go wide. We don’t store any twenties at the front, and my register had just been changed, so it only has fives and ones. I start counting back her change, checking twice to make sure I hadn’t screwed up the math on such a large movement of cash. I hand her her change. The woman sneers.)

Customer: “Really? All fives?”

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Thought It Was One Giant Smoking Mirror

, | PA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

(We sell cigarettes, and you can clearly see them as soon as you walk in the door.)

Customer: “Excuse me; do you guys sell cigarettes here?”

Me: *being humorous, thinking he is as well* “No, we don’t, sir.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. I’ll go somewhere else.”

(As he started to leave, another cashier motioned to the wall of hundreds of cigarettes behind the counter, and lucky us, he found humor in his mistake, as well as we did.)

Would Have Been Ice To Know

| USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

(My coworker just finished making a drink for this woman who had been watching her intently the whole time and is handing it to the customer at the end of the bar.)

Coworker: “Here is your drink!”

Customer: “Oh, I wanted that iced.”

Coworker: “Well, ma’am, just so you know, that is important to say when you order your drink.”

I Literally Just Told You

| Jacksonville, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

(My store hands out this cash coupon where if you spend a certain amount in a previous purchase you get a certain dollar amount off your purchase on a selected weekend in the future. During that weekend if you didn’t receive a cash coupon we send out a regular 15% off your purchase coupon to use. Neither can be combined.)

Customer: “Ugh, how do you know it’s not combinable!?”

Manager: “Well, I’m literate and read the back of the coupon where it says it can’t be combined with any other discount.”

We Will Never Be Loyals

Edinburgh, Scotland, UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre

(I’m at the register, paying for my items…)

Cashier: “Hi. Do you have your loyalty card ready?”

Me: *smiling* “Oh, I don’t have one.”

Cashier: “Would you like to sign up for one?”

Me: “Oh, no, thank you. I’m not very loyal to one shop!”

Cashier: *laughs, and then looks at me properly for the first time* “Oh, I can see that!”

(Thanks…?)

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