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Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

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Showing Signs Of Understanding

| Romford, Essex, UK | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money, Popular

(We are a market stall that sells perfumes and cosmetics. We love all of our customers, but a lot of our customers are either bad at math or speak without thinking. We sell a range of smell-like famous brand perfumes, which we sell for £3 each. I see a customer looking at our signs.)

Me: “Hi, can I help you?”

Customer #1: “These perfumes are £3 each, right?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer #1: “You have a sign up that says 3 for £9. That’s dumb as the customer doesn’t save anything buying three! You should remove the sign!”

Me: “I know but the usual going rate is £3.99 or 3 for £10, and some customers ask for 3 for £10!”

Customer #1: “Riiight… Okay, I know; I used to work on markets.”

(At that moment another customer approaches.)

Customer #2: “Hey, they are £3 each right?”

Me: “Yes!”

Customer #2: “So, if I buy three can I have them for £10?”

Customer #1: “…”

Me: *to Customer #2* “You can have them for £9!”

Customer #1: “You’re right; the sign should stay!”

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Getting Loony Over A Loonie, Part 2

| Winnipeg, MB, Canada | At The Checkout, Math & Science, Money

(I ring a customer’s transaction and everything is going well…)

Me: “Your total comes to $11.02.”

(She hands me $20.02.)

Me: “Oh, it’ll round down.”

(I give her back the two pennies and her $9.00 in change.)

Customer: “Oh, I want a straight $10 bill.”

Me: “You have to give me a dollar for that.”

(She tries to give me a loonie from the change I gave her.)

Me: “I gave you your change, so for you to get the $10 bill you have to give me $10 in change.”

Customer: “I want the $10 bill.”

(She tries to give me the $5 in addition to the loonie.)

Me: “No, I gave you your change.” *points to receipt* “You gave me a $20 for an $11 purchase. The change would be $9.”

(She motions to the loonie.)

Customer: “That is why I give you this. I want $10 bill.”

(This exchange went on for about five minutes before she got fed up and called me stupid.)

Related:
Getting Loony Over A Loonie

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My Milkshake Brings All The Crazies To The Yard

| Baton Rouge, LA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

(Our restaurant sells milkshakes in four regular flavors and varies an extra one depending on the time of year; peppermint in winter, peach in summer, etc.)

Customer: “And I’d like an eggnog milkshake too.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We don’t carry eggnog milkshakes. We do have our peppermint chocolate chip milkshake, though, as well as chocolate, strawberry, cookies and creme, or vanilla.”

Customer: “No, no, I got an eggnog one here last time. I want it again.”

Me: “I do apologize, but we don’t have that flavor.”

Customer: *not mad, simply very confused* “So… you can’t make me an eggnog milkshake?”

Me: “No, I don’t have the right ingredients to do that.”

Customer: “But I got one last time.”

(I suddenly remember seeing an ad for another restaurant down the road that has eggnog milkshakes. We don’t like to send customers to other shops if we can help it, but I feel bad for her, so I smile and tell her where she can get an eggnog milkshake. She lights up.)

Customer: “Thank you so much! Please forgive an old lady for being forgetful. I’m going to take my food to go then so I can get a milkshake to go with it.”

(After she leaves, the customer behind her comes up to order:)

Next Customer: “Well, that sounded completely gross. I’ll take a peppermint milkshake any day!”