Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

Like Taking Candy From A Store

| Switzerland | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Criminal & Illegal, Popular

(I work at a take away restaurant that’s located inside a mall. When we are closed, we usually just put the lights out and later shut the doors when we leave. It is already past closing time this evening. My boss sits in the office and counts the money while I am about to pack my stuff and go home when we suddenly hear someone calling. I cautiously peek inside the dark restaurant and find a woman standing at the register.)

Customer: “Hello?! Oh, there you are, finally! I’ve been standing here for about five minutes! I want to buy something!”

Me: “Uh… Miss, we’re already closed. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “You can’t do that! I want to buy a candy bar!”

Me: “I am sorry, but like I said, we’re already closed. My boss is already doing the cashier balancing, so you can’t buy anything.”

Customer: “BUT… but I already ATE it!”

Me: “You did WHAT?!” *shocked*

(She shows me an empty candy-bar wrapper.)

Me: “So you’re telling me, you walked into this dark, obviously closed store, grabbed this candy bar and just ate it before you even paid?!”

Customer: “Well, yes. I was kinda hungry…”

(She then apologized and left us the money on the counter.)

Famous Celebrities On Aisle Three

| CO, USA | At The Checkout

(I am working on stocking shelves when the call for multiple customers at the register goes over the speakers. I run up to a register and call some customers over. One of the customers coming over I recognize as an actor in a TV series I watch regularly. He is also a regular at the store and I know he doesn’t like to be recognized and get bombarded by fans, so I keep my head down and get him out of there as fast as possible. This happens after he leaves.)

Me: *jokingly* “Sorry, miss, I need a second to catch my breath. I must have been holding it.”

Customer: “Did that man make you upset? Oh, no, that won’t do.”

Me: “No, no, miss. I know him and know he wanted to get out of here as soon as possible so I just have to learn to breathe when rushing stuff like this.” *I am now finished scanning her items* “Your total is [total] today.”

Customer: “Well, no wonder he wanted out of here; he is very famous, you know. If you hadn’t rushed him I was going to get him to autograph a couple of things for me. So, thanks for ruining that for me!”

(I was taken slightly by surprise at her change in attitude, so I just handed her the receipt and she left. I guess to please one customer you have to ruin another’s day.)

Got A Chip On Their Shoulder About Using The Chip

| USA | At The Checkout, Technology

(Our chain began using a credit/debit card chip-reader before Christmas, but since most other companies are not yet equipped, a lot of our customers haven’t gotten the hang of it yet.)

Me: “Is that a chipped card, sir? Just slide it into that slot at the bottom, below the number buttons.”

Him: *slightly rude or annoyed tone* “I know how it works!”

Me: *in my head, with a mental smirk* “Then why did you insert the wrong end of your card?”

Smoking Before She Even Gets Cigarettes, Part 2

| WA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

Customer: “Could I buy cigarettes on my card? I have just enough to pay for them but not enough to pull money from the ATM.”

Me: “Of course, got ID?”

Customer: *hands me ID*

Me: “What kind you need?”

Customer: “[Cheap Brand].”

Me: *grabs cigarette, rings up* “Okay, your total is [close to $8].”

Customer: *hands me her card; it’s an EBT for food stamps*

Me: “I’m sorry, you can’t purchase tobacco on these cards.”

Customer: “But you just said I could!”

Me: “I apologize, but that was before I knew it was an EBT card—”

Customer: “The other lady who works here lets me buy them all the time!”

Me: “You’re not allowed to purchase alcohol, tobacco, or any type of lottery on a state issued EBT card.”

(She just continues to argue with me before stomping out of the store. Later in the day she comes back with two other women, staring at me and complaining about how “this b***h wouldn’t sell me the cigarettes!”)

Me: *talking to the other women* “Hi, what can I get you?”

(The second lady throws wad of crumpled ones on counter and demands the same cigarettes brand. The first lady continues complaining to the third lady.)

Me: “Thanks, have a nice day!”

(I turned around to clean something while those three complained all the way out the door.)

Related:
Smoking Before She Even Gets Cigarettes

Feeding His Imagination

| Plymouth, England, UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Love/Romance

(I have just convinced a customer to order a large piece of cake and a large drink, rather than just the biscuit he originally wanted.)

Customer: “You must have a lot of boyfriends.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Men love girls who know how to feed them. You obviously get that, so you must have loads of boyfriends.”

Me: *laughing* “Just the one, sir.”

Customer: *looking genuinely sad* “What a waste…”

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