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Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

Doesn’t Meet The Minimum Standard

| Milwaukee, WI, USA | At The Checkout, Money

(I work as a cook for a very popular pizza place, and am cashing out a pick-up order for a guy who looks like he is in his 20s.)

Customer: “So, what do you make here?”

Me: “Besides pizza? Well, we have breadsticks, wings, pastas—”

Customer: “No, like money.”

Me: “Oh… well, as a cook, I make minimum wage.”

Customer: “So like, $9?”

Me: “Uh, no… $7.25.”

Customer: “Oh… never mind. I think I’ll just keep playing video games.” *takes his pizza and walks out*

Put Your Foot In Your Mouth

| USA | At The Checkout, Health & Body, Popular

(The customer has been generally rude and unpleasant while I ring up her purchases, with lots of whining and complaints all the tough things she’s done, shopping and sightseeing, and about things my store has no control over, like how far it is from the train station. Finally I’ve had enough.)

Customer: “I’ve had to do far too much walking. I can’t believe there weren’t more places to sit down in [Museum next door].” *condescendingly* “You have NO idea how much my feet hurt.”

Me: “Actually, ma’am, I’ve been standing for eight hours and am not allowed to sit down or have breaks, so I might have some idea.” *sugary sweet voice and huge fake smile* “Here are your purchases and a receipt. I hope your rough day gets SO much better!”

Not Very Open Minded, Part 14

| Kent, England, UK | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Technology

(I work on the customer service desk of a large, busy retail store. We open later on Sundays, at 11 am. Our opening times are clearly signposted on the doors. It’s around 10 am and although we’ve raised the metal shutters on our storefront we haven’t yet unlocked the doors, and are still setting up for the day. The customer bangs on the door, causing me to look up from my paperwork. I shake my head and point to the sign.)

Me: “We’re not open yet, sorry!”

(Customer continues to bang on the door, then with an almighty shove manages to actually break it down.)

Customer: “I want to do a return!”

Me: “Uh… you just BROKE our door. We aren’t open!”

Customer: “Right, whatever. So I need to return these picture frames. Here’s my receipt…”

Me: “I can’t return them. Our tills aren’t on, and even if they were our office team hasn’t put the cash drawers in. You have to wait until 11 am.”

Customer: “What? You’re telling me I can’t return these? Why aren’t your tills on yet?”

Me: “We’re not open. We open at 11 am. Our opening times are on the sign outside. See?”

Customer: “What? So I can’t return them?”

Me: “You can, but you need to wait another hour. The tills aren’t on. The store isn’t open. I physically can’t give you your money back yet.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! This is dreadful customer service; I’m never coming back here again!”

(She stormed out in a huff, leaving me confused, bewildered, and with the task of fixing the doors back up before we open.)

Related:
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 13
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 12
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 11

Returner Burner, Part 2

| GA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

(I work at a large national retailer. When items are returned damaged they are “claimsed out” and returned to a warehouse for credit. If an item is returned in new condition it is returned to the shelf. I am working the service/returns desk when I get this call:)

Me: “Service desk, how can I help you?”

Customer: “My wife returned a white scooter to y’all a few days back, and I was wondering if y’all would be interested in selling it back to me at a discount?”

Me: “Sir, if it was returned damaged then we sent it to claims and it is no longer in the store. If it was returned in new condition then it is back on the shelf and would be full price.”

Customer: “Oh… so… no discount?”

Me: “No, sir.”

Customer: *sigh*

Related:
Returner Burner

Refunder Blunder, Part 19

| TN, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Popular

(I am a manager covering the returns counter associate’s break and have been dealing with a crazy line. My next customer walks up and hands me her receipt. I smile.)

Me: “How can I help you?”

Customer: *points to shorts she is wearing* “I want to return these.”

Me: “All right, would you like to do an exchange and change in our fitting room? You do not have to get the same shorts if you do not want to.”

Customer: “I want a refund.”

(We go back and forth and I repeatedly state that’s what we would be doing but I need the product.)

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “We ship the defective product back. I need the shorts.”

Customer: “Oh, my mom can just sew this piece back on; I just want my money back.”

Me: “I need the product.”

Customer: “Why?!”

(By this point we had gone backs and forth again and I motioned from her shorts to behind the desk.)

Me: “I need the shorts to give you a refund, you can buy gym shorts, a skirt, a towel- anything to cover you up to leave the store but without the product I can’t do the return.”

Customer: “Well, that’s bull-s***. Just give me my money back.”

Me: “I already explained to you that without the shorts on this counter I can’t give you a refund.”

Customer: “THEY ARE RIGHT HERE. I want to speak with a manager.”

(I don’t normally pull the card, but I showed my badge and tags and told her I was the manager. I proceeded to call an assistant manager up who was as baffled as I was and told the girl she would need to give us the shorts to get a refund. She never understood and left cursing and shouting about how she would tell everyone not to shop at our store because of this.)

Next Customer: *hands me his receipt and item* “I’d like to return this, and don’t worry; you can keep the item.”

Related:
Refunder Blunder, Part 18
Refunder Blunder, Part 17
Refunder Blunder, Part 16

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