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Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

Bartering Bars At The Bar

| Norway | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Money

(I work as a bouncer in a pub and overhear the following while standing behind the bar.)

Girl: “One beer, please.”

Bartender: “That will be 86 kroner.”

(She puts her card in the terminal.)

Bartender: “The transaction was declined; do you have another card or cash?”

Girl: *pours out five nutria-bars from her purse* “Will this be enough?”

(Not surprisingly, I had to throw her out a few minutes later.)

Has A Pen-chant For Stabbing Motions

| Perth, WA, Australia | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Bizarre

(I’m a salesperson in the photography and IT industries. I like to ask questions to make sure I can recommend the right solution. It saves a lot of time for both me and the client and ensures that there are no nasty surprises later on. A man has asked me to provide some advice for a new computer & accessories for his wife.)

Customer: “Here’s a list of all the things my wife wants. Can you do all this?”

Me: “I’m sure we can help, sir. Let me look over the list and ask you a few questions to make sure I’ve covered everything”

(I review the list, which seems straight-forward, and ask a few questions to clarify the requirements. Things are progressing smoothly until we reach the installation part of the checklist.)

Customer: “So can you come out and set it all up?”

Me: “One of our technicians will be able to do that for you, sir, but please be aware that we charge $150/hour for this service.”

Customer: “I don’t care about the price, I just want to know if YOU can do it or not.”

Me: “Well, I personally can’t but one of our techs will definitely be able to provide that service.”

Customer: “What? I didn’t ask if YOU could do it.”

Me: “Sorry, I misunderstood what you meant, but yes, one of our techs can do the install.”

Customer: “I meant YOU as in the company, not YOU as an individual. You DO represent the company, don’t you?”

(During this conversation the client has been gesturing towards my face while holding a biro, emphasising his words with a stabbing motion. He is only standing 1m away from me so the pen is very close to my face.)

Me: “Sir, can you please stop pointing your pen at my face?”

Customer: “What? Don’t be silly. I’m NOT pointing it at you; I’m just talking!”

(He makes a stabbing motion at my face while saying this.)

Me: “Please stop stabbing your pen at me. I don’t like it.”

Customer: “What? Never mind, this is obviously too hard. Don’t worry about it. I’m going elsewhere!”

(I try to clear up the misunderstanding but he has gotten so worked up that he just storms off, muttering under his breath. Another customer, who is a regular, has seen and heard the whole exchange.)

Regular Customer: “I thought you were very polite! I was impressed that you were calm throughout that conversation.”

Me: “Thanks, [Regular Customer]. I appreciate that.”

Regular Customer: “What was his problem, exactly? Strange man.”

Me: “Who knows? Maybe he just doesn’t like being told not to do something.”

She’s Lying/Not Lying

| Calgary, AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Criminal & Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Underaged

(Our store works with another company that offers a card to students that gets them discounts at many places. It is the card company’s policy that if a person looks like they could be 16 or older, they MUST produce student ID. If they don’t, under no circumstance are we allowed to give them the discount. A customer comes up who looks like she’s 16-18 years old.)

Me: “Your total is $15.75.”

Girl: “Oh, I have the [Student Card].”

Me: “Of course. If you could just quickly show me your student ID?”

Girl: “I don’t have it with me.”

Me: “Then unfortunately, I can’t give you the discount.”

Girl: “You’re joking! I’m from another province! I didn’t bring my student ID with me.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I cannot give you the discount. It’s [Card Company]’s policy that anyone who looks like they could be 16 or older must produce student ID.”

Girl: “That’s ridiculous! I’m, like, 12/13.”

(I look over the girl, and she looks way too old to be 13. I’m about to say something when her words suddenly hit me.)

Me: “Wait, you said you’re 12/13?”

Girl: “Yes! I’m 12/13!”

Me: “…So, you don’t know how old you are?”

Girl: “…What was the total again?”