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Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

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In One Ear And Drive-Thru The Other

| NV, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Popular

(I work at a busy fast food restaurant with a double drive-thru.)

Me: “Hi, what can I get for you today?”

Customer: “I just got here! Will you give a minute?!”

Me: “Sure, just let me know when you’re ready.”

(A few minutes pass without another word, and the drive-thru line is getting quite backed up and the other lane hasn’t been answered either.)

Me: “Are you ready to order yet? If not would you mind if I take the other car’s order?”

Customer: “No, fine, I’m ready. I want a [Sandwich].”

Me: “Okay, just the burger, then?”

Customer: “OH, MY GOD, I’m not done yet! You’re asking me too many questions!”

Me: Okay, go ahead…”

(A minute of silence passes.)

Me: “Was there anything else?”

Customer: “I told you, I want a [Sandwich].”

Me: “Yes, I got that.”

Customer: “But that’s not all I wanted!!!”

Me: “What else did you want?”

Customer: “I just told you. I want the [Sandwich].”

(At this point all of my coworkers possessing a headset as well are laughing as they go about their business and my manager is face-palming.)

Me: “Did you want the combo meal?”

Customer: “What don’t you understand about I want a [Sandwich]?”

Me: “The sandwich is just the sandwich. The [combo number] includes fries and a drink.”

Customer: “Oh… well, I want that, then!”

Me: “Ok, what size would you like that?”

Customer: “For the burger? How do you have different sizes of burgers…?”

Me: “It’s for the fries and the drink… small, medium, or large?”

(Another long pause.)

Customer: “Uh…”

(This “uh” seriously trailed out for a good 20 seconds.)

Customer: “Medium….”

Me: “Okay, what to drink?”

Customer: “Tea.”

Me: “Sweet tea, or unsweet?”

Customer: “Yes!”

(I hear at least three coworkers audibly cackle throughout the store.)

Me: “Okay, it will be [total] at the window.”

(After about seven minutes total of waiting for this customer to order one meal I finally get to answer the other lane.)

Me: “Sorry about that wait. What can I get for you?”

Customer #3: *laughing wildly* “People that stupid shouldn’t be allowed to use a drive-thru.”

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That Deal Has Fully Checked Out

| Ansbach, Germany | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money, Popular

(Our store has a deal where you buy €200 worth of merchandise and you get €50 off. You have to have a flyer/coupon that we spammed everyone with for two weeks. Knowing most people will forget to bring them in, I stash a few extra away and help people out that are close to €200 that don’t have a flyer. Now I have just one left. I ring up a woman.)

Me: “Your total is €198 plus change. You can grab anything you wants in the store for less than €51, since it will effectively be free.”

Customer: “Why? I don’t want anything else!”

Me: *explains the promotion to her*

Customer: “I just want the things I have.”

Me: “I notice you have a pack of gum already rung up, if you hand me another pack I can save you €49 and change.”

Customer: *irritated* “I don’t want it!”

(I comply with her demands and finalize the sale. I ring up the next customer, a young American soldier; while she is pondering over her receipt.)

Soldier: *stating loudly* “I am getting a video game system and it will break the €200 barrier!”

(The conversation between the woman and me FINALLY sinks in.)

Customer: “Wait! I want to add to my total!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I’m in the middle of a transaction; it’s not possible.”

(The soldier secured my last ‘up for grabs’ flyer. The woman was upset and demanded a refund, which I was not allowed to do. She demanded to speak to the manager. When my manager spoke with her, I was out of earshot. When I was approached by the manager about what happened with the lady customer, whatever she said had me in hot water. The soldier then came back in, having seen or heard the commotion, and explained that I did everything I could to save the lady money. My Real American Hero!)

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Need To Install A Listening Station

, | Denver, CO, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I am another customer in this case, observing. It is an extremely busy morning at the airport and there is a line of about 10 people for a coffee and pastry counter. This counter has a place to order, and a separate place to pick up and pay.)

Customer: *approaches the pay portion of the counter* “Is this where you order?”

Employee: “No, sir, you have to order down there.” *she indicates the large “ORDER HERE” sign hanging at the other end of the counter*

Customer: “I want a bagel, but I don’t want it cooked. Do you cook your bagels?”

Employee: “You can choose to have it toasted or not, if that’s what you mean. But you have to order down there.”

Customer: “Okay, well, I’ll have a plain bagel, not cooked, and a coffee.”

Employee: *at this point clearly flustered and just trying to move the guy along quickly* “Your total will be $6. Please stand off to the side and wait for that to be ready.”

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Filters Out All Useful Advice

| Manhattan, KS, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

(Our store sells “oil change specials” where if you buy five quarts of oil and filter in one transaction it will be reduced in price, in this case for less than what the oil cost alone.)

Customer: “I need oil for a [year of vehicle] [size of engine].”

(Assuming it is for the massive truck taking up two parking slots that is the correct vintage, I inform the customer that it takes five quarts of 5w-30 oil. The customer, by now back where the oil is, has picked out the brand of choice and is starting back towards the front.)

Me: “That oil is currently on special for $18.99 with a filter. Would you like to add one to your purchase?”

Customer: “No, I’ll get that later.”

(I inform him that it would be less expensive to buy them together today rather than on separate occasions… He still is not getting it and starts to show signs of frustration and annoyance. So I hold my tongue and check him out accordingly to his request.)

Me: “That’ll be $23.01 sir.”

Customer: “What?! But the sign says $18.99. Did taxes jump?!”

(I try to inform him again and decide it is best to just ring him out for the filter he needs and re-subtotal it.)

Me: “Okay, that’ll be $20.30.”

Customer: “Now that’s more like it.”

(I finish transaction and try to hand him the filter.)

Customer: “I don’t need that yet.” *grabs jug and leaves without receipt or filter*

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The Realization Has Expired

| Canada | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

(I work at a popular beauty supply store. A family had been browsing around for quite a while before coming to the front to pay. We offer a discount card which expires annually. The customer didn’t have her card, but I looked up the number and punched it in manually.)

Me: “I see that your card has expired. I can give you some stickers to take home to put on your card so you know when it expires next.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “You don’t have your physical card with you, correct? So I’m giving you these expiration date stickers to put on your card at home.”

Customer: “But my card is at home.”

Me: “That’s why I’m giving you the stickers. To put on your card. That’s at your home.”

(My coworker, sensing my frustration, stepped in.)

Coworker: “Your card expired, so she’s giving you stickers to put on your card when you go home.”

(This somehow clicked with the customer.)

Customer: “Why didn’t you say that in the first place?!”

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