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Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

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That’s A Wrap!

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Funny Names, Language & Words

(I work part-time at a popular national chain with quite a few franchises scattered about. We have a variety of meals which you can have made in either a wrap or a roll, for which we specifically ask the customer for when they order. From this particular customer’s actions, I would guess English is not their first language.)

Customer: *holding what appears to be a chicken schnitzel roll* Excuse me! I ordered a roll and you have given me a burger!

(I get my manager over because customer complaints have to be directed to them.)

Manager: “What you have there is a roll; we only serve wraps and rolls; that is the latter.”

Customer: “But this is not a roll! This is a burger! See, it’s made in a bun, not rolled up!” *shows us what it looks like in detail in case we didn’t understand*

Manager: “That isn’t a burger. It is a roll. It is similar but if you asked for a roll and not a wrap then that is what they will make for you.”

Customer: “Don’t pretend like I don’t know how rolls work. See up there?” *points to a wrap on menu* “THAT is what I want, d*** it. I want it ROLLED UP like that!”

Manager: “So, what you want is a wrap…?”

Customer: “NO, I want a ROLL for th—” *the penny drops* “Oh… s***.”

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An Idiot Combo

| Edmonton, AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Technology

(Most of the burgers offered by the chain restaurant I work at come in a combo. We are required to ask whether customers want a small, medium, or large combo, although many of them tend to be confused at the combo sizes.)

Customer: *in a foreign accent* “I want a number two combo.”

Me: “Certainly; what size would you like for your combo to be: small, medium, or lar—”

Customer: *getting irritated* “What are you talking about? What is in the number two combo?”

Me: “It comes with fries, and a drink of your choice.”

(The customer suddenly turns and walks away to the back of the line, and not knowing what he had in mind, I clear his order and take the orders of several other customers before facing him again.)

Customer: “What language do you speak?”

Me: “English?”

Customer: *raging* “Then why are you too stupid to understand my order? I just want a number two burger and a big [Soda]!”

Me: “So that’ll be a large [Soda] for you?”

Customer: “No! I want a small [Soda]! I am much smarter than you!”

Me: “Is that so? All right.” *points to debit card reader* “Please swipe your card to begin processing the transaction.”

Customer: *stares blankly at card reader* “What is this? How am I supposed to use this?”

Me: “If you are much smarter than me, you should be able to figure this out with no problem.”

(The customer continued to ramble on in unintelligible grunts and mumbles until I helped him finish processing the transaction. He took his meal and left without giving me any further trouble.)

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Cents-lessly Arguing

| RI, USA | At The Checkout, Money

(A customer comes up to my register with a can of tuna. She explains that the tuna was part of a recall and would like to return it, but does not have the receipt. Normally returns without receipts are given store credit.)

Me: “Since it’s part of a recall, should I still give her store credit, or can I give her cash?”

Supervisor: “You can give her cash if the register will let you.”

(I process the refund and my supervisor overrides it so that I can give her the cash, which comes to $2.27.)

Customer: “It was 88 cents.”

Me: “Without a receipt I have to give you what the register thinks it’s currently worth, which is $2.27.”

Customer: “But I only paid 88 cents. I returned one at the other store and they gave me 88 cents.”

Me: *to supervisor* “She wants less money than I’m trying to give her.”

Supervisor: “So give her less money?”

Me: “Can I modify the price of a return?”

Supervisor: “No, the register won’t let you.”

Me: *to customer* “I’m sorry, but I can’t change the price. The register wants me to give you $2.27.”

Customer: “The other store gave me 88 cents. I only paid 88 cents. I don’t like to steal.”

(The customer then proceeded to count 12 cents from her wallet and take a dollar bill before leaving the store, leaving the rest of the money on the counter.)

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Needs A Bigger Cue To Queue

| Berkshire, England, UK | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Popular

(I am in the stockroom collecting a customer’s parcel. As I go to leave, a coworker lets me know that in my absence two queues have formed at the till and the order in which they queued.)

Me: *towards the gentleman who had been queuing longest* “Hello, how can I help?”

(The woman who had started the second queue glares at me angrily and starts to speak angrily and sarcastically.)

Female Customer: “Excuse me, but it would be nice if you could tell me where exactly we’re supposed to queue!”

Me: “Where the gentleman was queuing.”

Female Customer: “Well, how was I supposed to know that?”

Me: “Well, ma’am, I thought the fluorescent yellow arrowed tape on the floor was enough of a clue.”

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A Price For The Devil To Pay, Part 4

| TN, USA | At The Checkout, Money, Religion

(I am ringing up a customer, and it came time to tell them their total)

Me: “Your total comes to $13.34.”

Customer: *hands me $20 bill*

Me: “Out of $20? Ok, your change is $6.66. Have-”

Customer: “Oh! Oh no, can’t have THAT number! I don’t want that, you don’t want that either! Oh! Just.. put the coins in the donation box! We can’t have THAT!”

Me: “…Sure. Uh, have a nice day…”

Related:
A Price For The Devil To Pay, Part 3
A Price For The Devil To Pay, Part 2
A Price For The Devil To Pay

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