Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

Whatever Ice-Cream Floats Your Boat

| ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I’m the customer in this one. My siblings, my boyfriend and I go to a fast food joint late at night. Everyone wants ice cream floats! We get to the cashier, everyone orders what they want and now it’s my turn…)

Cashier: “And what kind of pop would you like?”

(I thought all floats were default root beer and vanilla ice cream, so when she asks, my brain is just like NOPE and flat-lines. I don’t know what happened but I just kinda… forgot I was getting a root beer float because the question broke my brain.)

Me: “Uh… Coke?”

Cashier: *looks at me* “… and type of ice cream?”

Me: “Chocolate.”

(My siblings are like, what is wrong with you? I went beet red from embarrassment and everyone, including the cashier, was laughing. I shrug it off and said I was doing it on purpose. It wasn’t awful… but I really wished it was root beer and vanilla. I was totally not drinking or high, but probably made that girl’s night!)

Seems To Be A Few Fries Short Of A Happy Meal

| Durand, MI, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

(I’m working front counter at a fast food restaurant. This was before the apples and other side options were introduced.)

Customer: “Can I please get two hamburger [Children’s Meals]?”

Me: “Okay, and what would you like to drink with those?”

Customer: “I don’t need a drink with those.”

Me: “Well, I have to add a drink if you want the meal.”

Customer: “Okay… just add a fountain drink.”

Me: “Okay, and were those for a boy or girl?”

Customer: *leans close and says quietly* “Oh, I don’t need toys with those.”

Me: *trying hard to not be completely deadpan* “You know, you can just order two hamburgers and two small fries. They’re the same size and it’ll be cheaper.”

Customer: “Really? I didn’t know you could do that!”

Working Here Is A Brain Drain

| Bellevue, WA, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers, Health & Body

(I am sweeping the store when I see one of our regulars standing on a grocery basket to reach a soda bottle on the top shelf.)

Me: “Can I help you get that down?”

Customer: “It’s okay; I’m lightweight.”

Me: “So is the basket’s construction.”

Customer: “Well, if it breaks I’ll buy it.”

(He gets down.)

Me: “I’m more worried you’ll fall and crack your head open… because guess who gets to clean THAT up?”

Customer: *laughs* “Brain cleanup in aisle eleven!”

Scammers Never Take A Holiday

| VA, USA | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers, Popular

Customer: “Hi, can I get [Popular Holiday Beverage]?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, that’s only available during the holiday season. Can I get you something else?”

Customer: “Well, since you’re out of what I want, can I get some of those free drink coupons you give out?”

Me: “No, sir, literally no one has [Popular Holiday Beverage] right now. It’s April.”

Customer: *scanning menu board* “What about [Item he thinks sounds obscure]?”

Me: “It’s available in half pounds right here, sir.”

Customer: “Oh, no, I don’t want that. I just hoped you’d give me some coupons ’cause you probably didn’t have it.”

(After he leaves:)

Coworker: “That’s like ordering a pony at McDonald’s, and demanding free stuff because they don’t have it. What the h***?”

Grant Me The Patience To Teach Them Patience

| IN, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Popular

(The store I work at does not have the conveyor belts at the registers like a lot of the more well-known stores, so there is very little counter space, and with people being in a big hurry all the time, customers who are next in line put some of their stuff up on the counter before I’m even done with the first customer. An older lady comes up, and is checking out, when another lady comes up behind her, and puts her item on the counter. With how close she is getting with the first customer, I assume they are related, or together, so I just keep doing my job. Customer #1 has just finished paying, and is getting her stuff together, getting ready to leave. While she is doing that, I go ahead and ring up Customer #2’s item. I tell her the total, and Customer #2 looks at Customer #1.)

Customer #2: “Excuse you, can you get out of the way? I’m trying to pay.”

(Customer #1 finishes what she was doing, and without saying anything, walks out the door. I now realizing they weren’t together and start getting annoyed at Customer #2’s attitude towards Customer #1.)

Customer #2: *glares at Customer #1 as she walks away and, when she turns back to me, she says annoyed, and rudely* “Can you believe some people? I don’t understand why people just stand there in the way when people are trying to pay.”

Me: “Well, you know, there is a way around that.”

Customer #2: “Really? What’s that?”

Me: “Patience.”

(She glared at me without saying anything while I handed her her receipt. I turned around and walked away, and then she left. It felt good putting her in her place.)

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