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Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

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Expressly Apologetic

| NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Popular

(While shopping, I pick up just a few things on the way home. I make my way to the registers and see a lone “six items or less” line open. I then almost skid to a stop when I see someone with a mostly full cart skid to a stop. Just as I’m about to turn around and head to another lane, she looks up.)

Woman: “Oh, s***!”

Cashier: “Are you all right!?”

Woman: “No, I didn’t even see this was an express lane! Oh, shoot, I’m so sorry. Here, go, go!”

(She then proceeded to wave me and the next two people who came up ahead of her; the cashier said he’d take her still since she was letting others through, and I guess she figured that still would have been quicker than re-loading all her stuff on the cart. Or maybe it was a self-imposed penance, but whatever the case, thank you to the lady that can admit your mistakes!)

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A Duty Of Carelessness

| GA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Health & Body, Popular

(While on my lunch break I go to grab a bite to eat at the deli, and have clearly removed the top of my work uniform as the lady in front of me in line is being told about a sale on tea. My father is a well respected surgeon at the hospital, and we know all higher-ups within the hospital.)

Customer: “Oh! Half price for tea? I’d like me some of that!” *she snaps her fingers as she points to me* “You, boy, get that tea for me.”

Me: “Excuse me, but I am on break and am in line to get food, just like you are.”

Customer: *in a huff* “Fine! I work in the hospital and you better hope I don’t see you around there!”

Me: “Oh, you work at [Hospital]?”

Customer: “Yeah, and you best make sure I’m not gonna take care of you!”

Me: “Well, hopefully [List of Doctors] are okay with that.”

Customer: “Wait, who are you?!”

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Refunder Blunder, Part 22

, | Red Deer, AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

(It is a busy day at work and the phone keeps ringing. Since I am the only person at customer service, I am supposed to answer the phones, and if I am on the phone and a customer walks up I am supposed to let them know that as soon as I finish on the phone I will help them with whatever they need.)

Me: *on the phone with the customer* “I hope I helped you with everything you needed. Thank you for calling, and please have a nice day.”

Customer: *tapping her fingernails on the counter* “FINA-F***ING-LY! I’ve been waiting here for ten minutes waiting for someone to help me.”

Me: “Ma’am, I am terribly sorry, but I am the only one at customer service today, because my coworker called in sick, but I am here to help you with whatever you need. Do you want to do a return today?”

Customer: *pulls a box for a cordless phone out of a bag* “This phone won’t work anymore; I would like a refund.”

Me: “Okay, I would be happy to help. Do you have your receipt?”

Customer: *huffing and puffing* “Why would I need my receipt? I bought it here and I would like a refund.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but our store policy is that without a receipt we cannot accept refunds on open-boxed products. Luckily, the receipt would still be in our system. Do you have the original method of payment with you?”

Customer: “I do.” *hands me her debit card*

Me: “Okay, great! I just need to know when you purchased the product.”

Customer: “Shouldn’t you already know that?! You have my debit card.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, but we have to search for it by the date as well. We have regular customers that purchase so many things each month. It helps us find the exact date the product was purchased so we can reprint the receipt for you.”

Customer: “The product was purchased April of 2012.”

Me: *hands the customer her card* “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can’t return this. It is out of policy.”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous. I shop here all the time!”

Me: “Our return policy is 30 days. Some items are only eligible for 14 day return policy, with a 14 day grace period. I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can’t return this.”

Customer: “This is f****ng ridiculous! I’m going to [Competitor]. They do a return no matter what!”

Me: “Ma’am, I was customer service for [Competitor]; they are going to tell you the same thing, and because you never bought it there, they won’t return it.”

(The customer stormed out of the store. She pushed one of our GMs out of the way while she left. I made a phone call to the competitor store telling them she was on the way and they phoned all the other stores around the area. She never got her refund. She went on to our website and complained about me ruining the return for her.)

Related:
Refunder Blunder, Part 21

Refunder Blunder, Part 20
Refunder Blunder, Part 19

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Baked In The Bakery

| Berkeley, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Criminal & Illegal

(Two young men and one young woman walk into the store. They appear to be college-aged.)

Man #1: “So, these cupcakes are, like, really good, right?”

Me: “Yep! The owner bakes them herself using great ingredients.”

(They wander around the store for a minute. Suddenly, the other man pulls out a plastic container of marijuana.)

Man #2: “Man, smell this!”

Man #1: “Oh, s***, that is some great stuff.”

Woman: “Let me smell.”

(Since the container looks similar to that of the local dispensary, I decide a call to the police is uncalled for without more information, so I wait.)

Woman: *smelling the drugs* “Oh, wow, that’s really good!” *smiles at me* “One banana split cupcake, please!”

(As I get her the cupcake, I keep staring at the container of weed. The young men seem completely unfazed by this.)

Me: *ringing up the payment* “Have a great day!”

Man #1: *walking out, weed still visibly in hand* “Oh, we DEFINITELY will!”

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That’s A Wrap!

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Funny Names, Language & Words

(I work part-time at a popular national chain with quite a few franchises scattered about. We have a variety of meals which you can have made in either a wrap or a roll, for which we specifically ask the customer for when they order. From this particular customer’s actions, I would guess English is not their first language.)

Customer: *holding what appears to be a chicken schnitzel roll* Excuse me! I ordered a roll and you have given me a burger!

(I get my manager over because customer complaints have to be directed to them.)

Manager: “What you have there is a roll; we only serve wraps and rolls; that is the latter.”

Customer: “But this is not a roll! This is a burger! See, it’s made in a bun, not rolled up!” *shows us what it looks like in detail in case we didn’t understand*

Manager: “That isn’t a burger. It is a roll. It is similar but if you asked for a roll and not a wrap then that is what they will make for you.”

Customer: “Don’t pretend like I don’t know how rolls work. See up there?” *points to a wrap on menu* “THAT is what I want, d*** it. I want it ROLLED UP like that!”

Manager: “So, what you want is a wrap…?”

Customer: “NO, I want a ROLL for th—” *the penny drops* “Oh… s***.”

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