Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

They’re Totally Baked

| OH, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

(I work in a bakery in a larger grocery store. It is quite obvious that my corner of the store is a bakery as there is a large “bakery” sign above me and nothing but breads, cakes, and pastries all around. I see a woman standing at my counter.)

Me: “Hi, can I help you?”

Lady: “Yeah, I’m here to pick up an order for [Name].”

Me: “Sure, one sec.”

(I run and look at all the cakes in the cooler but see nothing under the name. So I check on the shelves in case it was a bread order, still nothing.)

Me: “I’m sorry; would it be under another name?”

Lady: “I’m picking it up for someone else.”

Me: “Was it a cake?”

Lady: “It was food.”

Me: “…”

Lady: “…”

Me: “What kind of food?”

Lady: “Uh, it was two burgers.”

When Onions Make You Laugh

| USA | At The Checkout

(I am the customer in this story. I frequently shop at a local produce store where a friend of mine works. I notice her register is empty, so I decide to jokingly give her a bit of a hard time.)

Me: “Hey. You. Why are the onions over here more than the onions over there?”

Friend: “Well, they’re different onions.”

Me: “No, they’re not. They have the same produce code.”

Friend: “Oh, well, I don’t know then.”

Me: “Well, just so you know, I’m getting my onions from over there.”

(As a man has gotten in line now, I go back to my shopping. When I’m ready to check out, I go to my friend’s register.)

Friend: “You know, after you left earlier, that guy was like, ‘I’m sorry you got yelled at like that. You shouldn’t have to deal with people like that.’ I kept trying to tell him it’s okay; I know you!”

(To that man, wherever you are, I’m sorry! I’m not really like that. I was just having some fun with my friend.)

Fails To Register

| CO, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

(Our store has six registers to check out customers with. Registers #1 and #2 are currently being in use with little to no line. I’m behind the customer service counter checking some merchandise. Customer service has a register, but only the managers are allowed to use it. A man comes up to the counter with a $0.97 CD.)

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, sir, this register isn’t open. If you want to—”

Customer: *screams at the top of his lungs* “GOD D*** IT! WELL, I AIN’T BUYING IT THEN!”

(The customer stomps to the exit. He screams one last thing behind him.)


(If he had turned around, he would have seen that register one was open without a line. My coworker comes around the counter and picks up the CD.)

Coworker: “Oh, no, what will we ever do without his $0.97? We’ll all starve!”