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Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

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Honesty Not Included

| UK | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers, Popular

(I am the customer in this story. I am posting a present to a relative in Finland.)

Post Office: “What is in the parcel?”

Me: “Children’s toy.”

Post Office: “Does it contain batteries?”

Me: “No…”

Post Office: “Okay, then that’s fine. Please pass it through the window.”

Parcel: *starts singing jaunty nursery rhyme as I accidentally hit a button whilst passing it to her*

Post Office & Me: *avoid eye contact and pretend we heard nothing*

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You’re Only Embarrassing Yourself Now

| MA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Money, Popular

(I work as a manager for a local grocery store in town where I live. The store itself only ever gets busy during the summer months since it is a big tourist destination. Not only is it busy but we are understaffed so I am on register trying to clear up some of the lines.)

Me:“All right, sir, your total is [total] dollars.”

Customer: *swipes his card*

(My register declines his card due to a transmitting error between our systems and the bank.)

Me: “Do you mind swiping your card again, sir? My register declined your card.”

Customer: “Well, that’s odd; I just filled my account. I should have $7000. This is embarrassing.”

Me: “Oh, nothing to be embarrassed about, sir. It seems to be a problem with our machines.”

Customer: “All right, then, but this is embarrassing.”

(He swipes his card again and the register declines it for the same problem.)

Me: “I am sorry, sir, this is really odd. Do you have another payment option you’d like to try?”

Customer: “Can you be a little quieter? This is embarrassing. I don’t want anyone to hear.”

(He swipes a different card.)

Me: “Great, this card went through, sir. Would you like the receipt?”

Customer: “No, thank you.”

(The customer leaves and I tend to the rest of my line before I close the register so I can quickly get other tasks done before I am needed again. I grab some baskets and stray carriages, and do some cash pick-ups. At this point my arms are full and I end up talking with another customer who needed assistance when suddenly the embarrassed customer walks in again, and barges into the conversation.)

Customer: “Yeah, hi there, I just got off the phone with the bank and they are telling me that my card was declined because of a machine reading error or something.”

Me: “Sir, I know. I told you that earlier when your card was declined.”

Customer: “I wanted to make sure, though. Also, that was really embarrassing for me so please keep that in mind next time this happens.”

Me: “No problem, sir.”

Customer: “I spoke to your manager over there, too, so she knows to train you on this.”

Me: “Sir, I am the manager. That is one of my cashiers.”

Customer: “You’re too young to be the manager; don’t lie. You’re only embarrassing yourself now.”

(The customer then complained to my cashier again about me lying. She pointed out that I am the manager and he looked embarrassed again and then quickly left. I really wanted to hit him the entire time he was speaking.)

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No ID, No Idea, Part 26

| WA, USA | At The Checkout, Popular, Underaged

(I’m a cashier at a large chain supermarket, and our policy is to card everyone who orders alcohol and cigarettes who looks under age 40. There are two people in my line buying alcohol, and I card the lady in front and explain the policy. After I’m done it’s the man behind her’s turn, and I’m not about to card him.)

Customer: *scoffs* “What, not gonna card me?”

Me: “All right. May I see your ID, then?”

(He proceeds to hold out his wallet, with the ID in the viewslot. We’re not allowed to accept it that way, so I ask him to remove it. When he hands it to me, I notice it has a hole punched in the upper-right corner.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, this ID has a hole punched in it. That means it’s invalid and we can’t accept it.”

Customer: “No, it’s valid. They did that…”

(I proceed to call my manager over who was passing by.)

Manager: “Nope. Sorry, sir, but we can’t accept an ID that has a hole punched in it. We can’t sell it to you.”

(The customer leaves in a huff.)

Me: *to Manager* “I wasn’t even gonna card him. He insisted.”

Manager: *laughs*

Related:

No ID, No Idea, Part 25

No ID, No Idea, Part 24

No ID, No Idea, Part 23