Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

Piercing Observation, Part 2

| Tampa, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Popular

(It is my first month of working as a cashier for a high-end grocery store and I am getting a lot of Jesus-pamphlets and comments about my piercings (my employers encourage them; they are fine by policy). One day it is especially busy and I am still a little slow at scanning / typing codes for fruits and veggies… An older male customer in his mid-50s with a young woman and a baby come through my lane. The older man says something turning to the younger woman, and all I hear is “…all that s*** on her face.”)

Me: “Excuse me, sir? Is there a problem?”

Customer: “Oh, I just think you’d look better without all that crap on your face.”

Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way. I like it and I look good with it.”

Customer: “Well, have ya looked in the mirror lately?”

Me: “Yes, every day, and I like what I see.”

Customer: “You should get your eyes checked!”

Me: “I did about three months ago, sir. My vision hasn’t changed in over three years.”

(The customer got seemingly flustered at my confidence and as I handed him his receipt looking him straight in the eyes, I think he realized how rude he was and laughed it off with an Elvis impersonation (?!).)

Related:
Piercing Observation

Got The Meat-Balls To Stand Up To Him

, | USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Popular

(I work at the front desk in a government office. While at my station at the front desk, a coworker is speaking with a young man, very near me in the lobby. I can easily overhear the conversation in which the young man is describing how he likes to go through the lines at sandwich restaurants and “just for fun” say the sandwich was bad, and make them re-do his sandwich. It was a fun game for him, and sometimes he even received the “bad” sandwich too, or would even get a free sandwich “for the trouble.” As I hear him say this, I think “What an a**hole!”, but say nothing. About a week later, I go to lunch at the local sandwich shop. I find myself in line behind this young man. I don’t recognize him at first, but who he is gradually dawns on me as I watch him. He is looking right at the sandwich maker as she is putting his meatball sub together and sure enough, when he gets to the register, he says it is wrong and wants another because it has too much sauce. At that point I know what is happening and decide to call him on his game.)

Me: “Why didn’t you tell her it was wrong while she was making it?”

Customer: “I wasn’t looking.”

Me: “Yes, you were. I was watching you. You were staring at her the whole time. If you didn’t like the way she made your sandwich, you should have told her AT THE TIME.”

Customer: *getting flustered* “No, really, I wasn’t looking.”

Me: *getting adamant* “Yes, you were. I SAW YOU! You were staring at her, watching her make that sandwich the whole time. If you didn’t like the way she made your sandwich, you should have told her AT THE TIME. THAT’S WHY THEY MAKE THE SANDWICHES IN FRONT OF US!!”

Customer: *flustered* “But it’s…”

Sandwich Maker: *she doesn’t know what I know about him* “Ma’am, it’s really okay.”

Me: *to her* “NO, IT’S NOT! If he didn’t like the way the sandwich was being made” *me turning to him* “HE SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU AT THE TIME!” *back to sandwich maker* “He was looking at you the whole time!”

Sandwich Maker: *stares at me with eyes wide and slack-jawed, not knowing what to say*

(I keep laying it on him and he remains flustered while the sandwich maker’s coworkers make him another which he accepts and pays for, and then makes a quick dash out the door. The line workers and the manager are all gathered around the register and a couple staff persons are peeking out the doors to the back area and all are looking at me in awe.)

Manager: “Here. Why don’t you take this?” *holding out the “bad” meatball sub*

Me: “No, but thank you. I’m vegetarian.”

Manager: “Take it. You could give it to someone…”

Me: “But I can’t eat it. Why don’t you have it?”

Manager: “No, really, we can’t eat it. If we keep it here, it will have to be thrown away.”

Me: *while the injustice of a cow losing his life only to be thrown away flashes through my mind, I reply* “Okay, I’ll take it back to work and see if anyone wants it.”

(So I left with two sandwiches, and as it turned out, my supervisor was a devout carnivore, and even though he’d had lunch already, was very fond the meatball subs from that shop and decided to take one for the team and have two lunches! He also remembered the young man, and agreed that he was an a**-hole. I can only hope that in the future, that young man will think twice about what might be a “fun game.”)

Honesty Not Included

| UK | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers, Popular

(I am the customer in this story. I am posting a present to a relative in Finland.)

Post Office: “What is in the parcel?”

Me: “Children’s toy.”

Post Office: “Does it contain batteries?”

Me: “No…”

Post Office: “Okay, then that’s fine. Please pass it through the window.”

Parcel: *starts singing jaunty nursery rhyme as I accidentally hit a button whilst passing it to her*

Post Office & Me: *avoid eye contact and pretend we heard nothing*

You’re Only Embarrassing Yourself Now

| MA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Money, Popular

(I work as a manager for a local grocery store in town where I live. The store itself only ever gets busy during the summer months since it is a big tourist destination. Not only is it busy but we are understaffed so I am on register trying to clear up some of the lines.)

Me:“All right, sir, your total is [total] dollars.”

Customer: *swipes his card*

(My register declines his card due to a transmitting error between our systems and the bank.)

Me: “Do you mind swiping your card again, sir? My register declined your card.”

Customer: “Well, that’s odd; I just filled my account. I should have $7000. This is embarrassing.”

Me: “Oh, nothing to be embarrassed about, sir. It seems to be a problem with our machines.”

Customer: “All right, then, but this is embarrassing.”

(He swipes his card again and the register declines it for the same problem.)

Me: “I am sorry, sir, this is really odd. Do you have another payment option you’d like to try?”

Customer: “Can you be a little quieter? This is embarrassing. I don’t want anyone to hear.”

(He swipes a different card.)

Me: “Great, this card went through, sir. Would you like the receipt?”

Customer: “No, thank you.”

(The customer leaves and I tend to the rest of my line before I close the register so I can quickly get other tasks done before I am needed again. I grab some baskets and stray carriages, and do some cash pick-ups. At this point my arms are full and I end up talking with another customer who needed assistance when suddenly the embarrassed customer walks in again, and barges into the conversation.)

Customer: “Yeah, hi there, I just got off the phone with the bank and they are telling me that my card was declined because of a machine reading error or something.”

Me: “Sir, I know. I told you that earlier when your card was declined.”

Customer: “I wanted to make sure, though. Also, that was really embarrassing for me so please keep that in mind next time this happens.”

Me: “No problem, sir.”

Customer: “I spoke to your manager over there, too, so she knows to train you on this.”

Me: “Sir, I am the manager. That is one of my cashiers.”

Customer: “You’re too young to be the manager; don’t lie. You’re only embarrassing yourself now.”

(The customer then complained to my cashier again about me lying. She pointed out that I am the manager and he looked embarrassed again and then quickly left. I really wanted to hit him the entire time he was speaking.)

No ID, No Idea, Part 26

| WA, USA | At The Checkout, Popular, Underaged

(I’m a cashier at a large chain supermarket, and our policy is to card everyone who orders alcohol and cigarettes who looks under the age of 40. There are two people in line buying alcohol, and I card the lady in front and explain the policy. After I’m done it’s the man behind her’s turn, and I’m not about to card him.)

Customer: *scoffs* “What, not gonna card me?”

Me: “All right. May I see your ID, then?”

(He proceeds to hold out his wallet, with the ID in the viewslot. We’re not allowed to accept it that way, so I ask him to remove it. When he hands it to me, I notice it has a hole punched in the upper-right corner.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, this ID has a hole punched in it. That means it’s invalid and we can’t accept it.”

Customer: “No, it’s valid. They did that…”

(I proceed to call my manager over who was passing by.)

Manager: “Nope. Sorry, sir, but we can’t accept an ID that has a hole punched in it. We can’t sell it to you.”

(The customer leaves in a huff.)

Me: *to Manager* “I wasn’t even gonna card him. He insisted.”

Manager: *laughs*

Related:
No ID, No Idea, Part 25
No ID, No Idea, Part 24
No ID, No Idea, Part 23

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