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Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

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Doesn’t Understand The Custom Part Of Customer, Part 8

| Lebanon, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

Customer: “Excuse me; can I use this coupon here?”

(The coupon looks like a standard buy-one-get-one coupon, and I see that she has some of the items depicted.)

Me: “Yes, you should be able to!”

(I ring up the items, but end up having trouble with the coupon.)

Me: “Oh, I’m very sorry; I didn’t look at the coupon closely. You need to buy two [Brand] items to get these items free.”

Customer: “But I did buy them!”

Me: “Were they on the counter? I don’t think I rang any up…”

Customer: “No, I bought them at [Store next door].”

Me: *speechless*

Customer: “I have the receipt; I can show you that I’m not lying…”

Me: “No, no, that’s not… To use the coupon, you usually have to buy them in the same purchase… at the same store.”

Customer: “Are you sure? I don’t think the coupon says that.”

Me: “I don’t think they felt it needed to…”

Related:
Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 7
Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 6
Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 5

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Germaniac

, | FL, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, History, Popular, Religion

(I’m slicing meat for a customer. I notice he’s wearing a shirt with a cartoon leprechaun flipping the middle finger and holding a half-empty glass of beer.)

Me: “Nice shirt.”

Customer: “Oh, this? Yeah, I’m Irish, so…”

Me: “I kinda figured.”

Customer: “What about you?”

Me: “Well, my ancestors were mostly German—”

(Suddenly the customer stomps his feet together, stands at attention, and does the Nazi salute.)

Customer: “SIEG HEIL! SIEG HEIL!”

Me: “—Jews. German Jews.”

Customer: “Oh.”

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The Great Snuggle Smuggle Muddle

| USA | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers

(I work the self-checkouts when this happens.)

Customer: “These four [Brand] dishwasher pod packs are ringing up wrong. They should be 50 percent off!”

Me: “Okay, no problem. I’ll suspend the order for you, and you can take it right up to customer service where they can check the tags in the aisle, and then fix it if they did ring up wrong.”

Customer: “NO, NO, NO! Take them off my bill! I’ll pay and check myself!”

Me: “Okay, no problem. I’ll set them aside.”

(The customer leaves and doesn’t come back. My boss comes over.)

Boss: “Are these returns?”

Me: “Yeah, they weren’t on sale so she didn’t want them.”

Boss: “Hey, wait this one’s open, and it feels heavier than it should. Hold on. There’s only supposed to be twenty pods in here and there’s six or seven extra [Brand] pods, and a few Snuggle pods in here, also.”

Boss & Me: “She tried to smuggle Snuggle! She’s the Snuggle Smuggler!”

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Acting Childish

| FL, USA | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers

(In this story I am the customer buying two tickets to see a popular new movie with my little sister. Note: I am 16 when this takes place.)

Me: “Two kids tickets for [Popular Movie], please!”

Clerk: *gives me confused look* “How old are you?”

Me: “16, but I’m a child at heart.”

Clerk: *laughs* “And will that be for the [next available movie time]?”

Me: “Yes.”

(Needless to say I didn’t get the child ticket.)

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Damaging Customer Relations

| NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

(I’m working in the handbags section of the store. A customer approaches me with two of the same bag, but in different colors. One has blue and green tones while the other is neutral colors, like brown, pale pink, beige.)

Customer: “Could I ask for your opinion?

Me: “Sure! Trying to decide between these two?”

Customer: “Yes. I like the green and blue better but I’m not sure what I’d wear it with.”

Me: “Well, the neutral colors would be easier to match, so you could get more use out of it.”

Customer: “Maybe I’ll get both.”

(The customer looks at the tags, and they are each $30. She doesn’t want to spend much more than that.)

Me: “If they were a little cheaper, I would say buy both.”

Customer:Can they be cheaper?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Can you get me a discount?”

Me: “I’m sorry, we only discount damaged merchandise.”

Customer: “Well, could you damage it?”

(I wait for her to laugh, but she just looks at me, expecting I will help her.)

Me: “No… No, I can not.”

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