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Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

You Shall Not Pass!

| Austria | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Popular

(A local couple has come up with a “smart” trick how to speed up the waiting time during the rush hours when paying in the supermarket. She will grab something trivial and dash for the checkout and queue while he does the shopping, then finally pushes to the front with his loaded cart, saying “my wife is already there.” They are pretty well known (and loathed, not only for this), and since she is in front of me, I know what is coming up behind me eventually, especially since she is more focused on what’s behind her than actually going for the checkout. A minute later…)

Husband: “Excuse me? That’s my wife.”

Me: *turning around, beaming at him* “Good for you, congratulations!” *turning back around*

Husband: “Let me pass. She’s waiting for me!”

Me: “Oh, you’re such a lovely couple. Of course she’ll wait for you ’til IT IS YOUR TURN!”

Husband: “But she’s been queuing for us!”

Me: “No, she’s been queuing for her yogurt.”

(I let him rant and rave about how I MUST let him pass for his wife is waiting. By now she’s started to chime in and I get berated in stereo. Then he suddenly backs up a little and rams his cart into my heel.)

Me: “Hey! Stop that!”

Husband: “No! Let me pass!”

(He backs up again to hit me with the cart again and, as this clearly took me by surprise, I just so happen to jump when the cart hits me, and, clumsy me, I land right inside the cart, crushing eggs and other perishables in my fall. And if I hadn’t first seen that those eggs have being hidden under something that could absorb the snot they spewed out as they exploded, I might not have been so clumsy… His yelling at me, sitting in his cart, caused me to panic, of course, which meant that me climbing out of the cart spilled what was not spoiled already. Of course, the ruckus didn’t go unnoticed and the manager appears.)

Manager: “What happened?!”

(The manager gets a brief summary from everyone around.)

Manager: *to the couple* “You will be required to pay for the damage caused.”

(This is met with even more yelling and screaming.)

Husband: *pointing to me* “If anyone had to pay it would be him!”

(Eventually they left, still ranting, now being banned from the store. Just to illustrate just HOW much that couple is known and loathed: Instantly two other people in the queue offered to pay for the damage in case I’d be stuck with it.)

Manager: “Finally having a reason to get rid of them for good is more than he could ask from me.”

(I offered to help with the cleaning of the mess I made, which was again declined with a similar statement by the staff.)

Literally Left Holding The Baby

| Denton, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids

(I am ringing up a man who is babysitting his four-month-old nephew.)

Man: “Can I leave my stuff here for a minute while I run to the bathroom?”

Me: “Of course!” *jokingly* “I’ll hold the baby!”

(HE GAVE ME THE BABY!)

Just Type In ‘Born Yesterday’

, | Lansing, MI, USA | At The Checkout, Technology

(Whenever we access a customer’s account, they need to give us their pin number.)

Me: “All right, now, what’s your eight-digit pin number?”

Customer: “I don’t know… Oh! It’s my birthday!”

Me: *looking at them expectantly*

Customer: *looking at me expectantly*

Me: “aaannndddd what would that be?”