Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

Lack Of Register Does Not Register, Part 7

| IN, USA | At The Checkout

(I’m sitting at a fast food restaurant, and I overhear this conversation. Note that there is one register with a sign on it stating the card machine is broken.)

Cashier: “Hi, Welcome to [Store]; I can help you over at this register.”

Customer: “Or you could stop being a lazy piece of s*** and take care of me on THIS register?”

Cashier: “Sir, that register is broken. You can try to order there all you like but I can promise you that you aren’t getting anything out of it.”

Related:
Lack of Register Does Not Register, Part 6
Lack of Register Does Not Register, Part 5
Lack of Register Does Not Register, Part 4

The Upstairs Does Not Register

| NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre

Customer: “Can I pay for this here?”

Employee: “No, you check out downstairs.”

Customer: *looks terrified* “Is… is this not a bookstore? Can I not buy this?”

Employee: “You can buy it… The registers are downstairs, though.”

They’re Going To Be Fine (Print)

| USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers

(I’m purchasing a new pair of shoes. I have a $10 off coupon. As I’m handing the coupon to the cashier, I realize the brand of shoes I’m buying are on the coupon’s restriction list.)

Me: “Oh! My bad, I can’t use this on [Brand].”

Cashier: *amazed* Did… did you actually read the fine print?”

Me: “Well, yeah. It’s no big deal, though. I can use it next time.”

Cashier: “I can’t believe someone read the fine print! Just a hunch, but do you work retail?”

Me: “Not currently, but I used to. That’s how I paid for college.”

Cashier: “You know, I’ll go ahead and put this through for you.” *takes the coupon out of my hand and swipes it* “Because you understand!”

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Got A Chip On Their Shoulder About Using The Chip, Part 2

| MI, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Technology

Me: “Is that a chip card?”

Customer: “Yes. Is there a chip reader? Do I insert it?”

Me: “Yes, it will tell you on the screen when to insert your card.”

(The customer tries to SWIPE her card, twice, both times backwards. Nothing, of course, happens.)

Me: “It’s a chip card, right? You’ll have to insert it.”

(The customer swipes again, this time backwards and upside down. Still nothing.)

Me: “You’ll need to insert your card.”

Customer: “It says ‘Error reading card, please insert.’ Should I swipe it again?”*swipes card again upside/backwards/inside out if possible, before I have a chance to respond*

Me: “You need to insert your card, ma’am.”

Customer: *finally inserts the card* “I don’t understand why these chip readers take so long.”

Related:

Got A Chip On Their Shoulder About Using The Chip

It’s Taco-ver

| FL, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I work at a very popular Mexican grill restaurant where we serve food down a line and you build your item of choice to your liking. A customer orders a bowl and starts to make it and everything goes completely fine. Next she decides to order for someone else.)

Customer: *in a Hispanic accent* “I also want a burrito.”

Me: “Of course, ma’am!”

(I put tortilla in the press and proceed to take it out and get ready to build it.)

Customer: “Do you have smaller burritos?”

Me: “No ma’am, the only thing smaller is tacos.”

Customer: “Oh! Yeah, that’s what I want!”

(Our tacos come with three in one serving so I put the taco shells in the press and proceed to ask her what kind of rice beans and meat she would like in her tacos.)

Me: “So what kind of rice would you like?”

Customer: “Uh… I’ll take the brown rice.”

Me: “Okay, what kind of beans would you like?”

Customer: “Black beans.”

Me: “Great, now what kind of meat?”

(Everything seems fine until I get to the third taco. Keep in mind that she’s watched me make all three tacos the entire time.)

Customer: “Oh, I only wanted one taco.”

(I look at my manager who sees my face and is trying so hard not to laugh.)

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