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Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

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One Big (Alco)Hole In Their Plan

| ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal

(I live near the Canada-US border, Canada side. It’s about nine o’clock at night and I’m working the front end of grocery store. A small group of people who look to be in their late teens or early twenties walk up to me.)

Customer #1: “Can you tell us where to find the alcohol in here?”

Me: *taken aback* “We don’t sell any.”

Customer #1: “Really?”

(At this moment it dawns on me that they’re probably from over the border, coming to buy alcohol here because we have a lower drinking age.)

Me: “Yeah. We… don’t sell alcohol in grocery stores in Canada. In general.”

Customer #2: “You’re kidding, right?”

Me: “Err… we don’t have a liquor license. It’s against the law for us to sell any.”

Customer #1: “Don’t you have something?”

Me: *shrugs sheepishly* “We have mouthwash.”

(I ended up directing them towards places that are allowed to sell liquor, though I have no idea if they were even open at such a time of night. They just couldn’t get over the fact that the grocery store didn’t sell any!)

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This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 49

| TX, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Money

(When a customer orders food, we write the order on a box and fill it up, call out the name of the customer, and make the transaction.)

Me: “[Name]!”

Customer: *sluggishly nods and comes over*

Me: “Hello there. Just 10 shrimp and a PowerAde?”

Customer: *not really paying much attention* “Yeah.”

Me: “All right, that’ll be $[total]. Swipe your card when you’re ready.”

Customer: *looks at pin-pad and swipes card*

Me: *bags up food and hands drink* “All right, you have a wonderful day!”

Customer: *looks at PowerAde* “Uh, I ordered a [Soda]?”

(Turned out that this guy wasn’t the name I called out, did not order shrimp whatsoever, and didn’t realize he had picked up the wrong order until the transaction was over, even after I had verbally asked him everything and he had a screen to confirm his order.)

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 48
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 47
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 46

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Can See A Red Alert Coming

, | Ames, IA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

Customer: “I’d like an Arctic Rush.”

Me: “What flavor?”

Customer: “Red.”

Me: “Cherry, watermelon, or strawberry kiwi?”

(I had this conversation nearly every time someone ordered an Arctic Rush.)

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It’s Been A Hard Year

| USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Holidays

(The customer approaches the register, puts out an open bag of licorice, and a receipt.)

Customer: “I bought it for Easter and it was hard as a rock.”

(The receipt is dated for March the year before.)

Me: “Ma’am, it’s over 30 days. I can’t return this.”

Customer: *yelling* “But I bought it for Easter!”

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Was ‘Meer’ly Asking

| Halifax, NS, Canada | At The Checkout, Funny Names

(I’m in an aisle returning items to the shelf when a customer notices my name tag, which says ‘Mir,’ and asks me about it.)

Customer: “Oh, that’s a different name. How do you pronounce it?”

Me: “Meer.”

Customer: *in a knowing tone* “And is that Middle-European?”

Me: “No…”

Customer: *confused and questioning look*

Me: “…it’s just short for Miranda.”

Customer: “That’s horrible! You tricked me! Here I thought I was being all clever, knowing where it comes from, and you tricked me!”

Me: *slightly stunned at her outburst* “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to…”

(I have people ask about my name multiple times a day, but I’ve never had anyone else get mad at me for ‘tricking’ them when my answers weren’t what they expected!)

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