Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

As Daft A Brush

| UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre

(A lady of around 60 approaches the checkout, brandishing a pack of two toothbrushes.)

Customer: “There are two brushes in here!”

Me: “Ah, yes. It’s a manufacturer’s promotion. You get a second brush free.”

Customer: “But it’s in the packet.”

Me: “Well, because the promotion is by the manufacturer rather than by us, they put the free brush right there in the packet with the other one.”

Customer: “I only want one.”

Me: “The second one’s free…”

Customer: “I only want one toothbrush. I don’t need a second.”

Me: “Well… you could just save the second one until you need it. Save yourself another trip down here next time.”

Customer: “I want ONE.”

Me: “Do you have family? Give the free brush to someone! It’s free!”

Customer: “I want a packet with ONE brush in it. You must have some in the back.”

Me: “Sorry, only these ones at the moment–”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! I just want to buy a toothbrush!”

Me: “If you buy this, you can take the second brush out… and throw it away!”

(Customer paused for a moment.)

Me: “You don’t even have to leave the shop. Once you’ve paid, you can open it right here and I’ll dispose of the second brush for you.”

(She insisted on speaking to the manager for a while but went with my plan in the end. She paid the asking price, opened the packet, took one brush home and gave the free one to the manager to throw away.)

Type 1 A**-Hole

| At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

(I work as a cashier at a fairly high-end grocery store, meaning that for the most part, the patrons are wealthy, and the food is pretty overpriced. We’re currently raising money to help kids with Type 1 diabetes. This is what happened when I asked a customer for a $1 donation. Keep in mind that his purchase was upwards of $300.)

Me: “Sir, may I ask if you’re interested in donating one dollar to-”

Customer: “Excuse me?”

Me: *assuming he’s hard of hearing, or simply missed what I said* “I’m sorry, I was just asking if you’d be willing to donate one dollar for children with-”

Customer: “Oh, I heard what you said! I just don’t have that kind of money. Not all of us are trust fund babies, hun!”

Me: *finally taking the hint* “All right, sir, your total is $355.55.”

Customer: “Are you trying to make me feel like a selfish pig? Because it sounds like you’re demeaning me right now. I could have you fired for this.”

Me: “I’m so sorry, sir. I just wanted to let you know that you can swipe your card now.”

Customer: “You do realize that this cart is full of necessities, right? My family would die without these groceries.” *in fact, his cart is full of junk food*

Me: “Of course, sir. Have a great day.”

Customer: “Well, now that you’ve made me feel like a a**hole, I don’t feel like enjoying my day anymore. I can’t believe this.”

Me: “…”

Has Something Else In Store

| Glens Falls, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre

(A customer approaches at the checkout.)

Me: “Hi, you find everything okay?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Do you have a store card?”

Customer: “Yes…” *stops, looking up and around, seeming very bewildered* “What store is this? This isn’t [Store], is it?”

Me: “Yes, this is [Store.]”

Customer: “Huh… I could have sworn this was [Competitor Store]. I’m going to go there. Things are cheaper there.”

Me: “Okay, then… Have a nice day.”

(I’m still not sure how she missed the giant red signs on the main building and the driveway.)

Caught Red-Solo-Cupped

| MI, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

(A family has just finished checking out their smaller-sized order and left their shopping cart in front of the u-scan. I don’t want to take care of the cart just yet, but decide not to ignore it when I see they also left an empty drink cup in the seat.)

Me: *follows them out the door with their cart* “Hey, guys, did you want your drink?”

Woman: *stops and stares at me* “Oh yeah, um, thank you.” *reluctantly takes her empty drink cup and walks away*

Me: *cheerfully* “You’re welcome! You guys have a good night!”

(It was so awkward, but so worth it!)

First-Born Going The Way Of The Check

| Allentown, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids

(I’m helping a family shop at our little store, and they’re now at the cash register. Because the store is small, they’re the only customers.)

Father: *gesturing to his daughter* “By any chance, do you take firstborn children as payment?”

Me: *with the straightest face I can manage* “Well, we used to; that’s how they got me.”

Coworker: *chiming in* “And that’s why we don’t take them anymore.”

Father: *laughing* “That’s all right. She’s the middle kid, anyway!”

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