Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

Coupoff

| Pittsburgh PA, USA | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers

(While waiting to clock in, I notice a warning to employees about a fraudulent coupon that people have been trying to use. It says $70 off anything in the store which is frankly ridiculous and I comment something to my other coworkers.)

Me: “What dumb-a** customer would ever think this was real?! The most we ever have is $10 off and you usually have to spend $30 or more.”

Coworker: “My dumb-a** customer! I had a lady argue with me earlier asking how I knew it wasn’t real. I had to point out that ‘back,’ ‘discount,’ and ‘redeemed’ were spelled wrong. Even then she kept trying to use it.”

In Line And Out Of Line, Part 10

| UK | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

(It’s Black Friday, 2014. This is the first time I’ve worked this event, and have been at work since 8 am, with the shop having been open since 6 am. Our shop isn’t the largest in the chain, but is still a reasonable size for a retail unit. Things have gotten so busy with customers that the queue stretches around half of the shop floor, and we are starting to run out of some of the really popular items. As I’m speaking to customers on the shop floor, a lady who’d recently arrived caught my attention.)

Customer: “Excuse me, we’re ready to pay and I was wondering if you could skip us to the front of the queue?”

(By this point, there were easily 30 people ahead of her.)

Me: “I’m afraid it wouldn’t be fair on the other customers who were waiting in line to let you go ahead of them.”

Customer: “Why did you have to say that out loud? They’ll have heard you!”

Related:
In Line And Out Of Line, Part 9
In Line And Out Of Line, Part 8
In Line And Out Of Line, Part 7

Getting Shirty About The Shirt

| Orlando, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

(I used to work at a theme park with a popular two month long Halloween event. As a merchandise vendor I manned a glow cart during the event, and had a cash apron and a phone to run credit cards. This particular night, I am assigned to the cart that sells light up t-shirts that respond to music. I sell a $40 shirt to a drunk man and he leaves, wearing the shirt, only to return a few minutes later.)

Customer: *slurring* “I don’t want it anymore.”

Me: “I am so sorry, but we’re actually not allowed to do returns.”

(This is because a. we physically aren’t capable of doing credit card returns on our company phones and therefore to be fair don’t do any returns, and b. people commonly try to scam us because we’re working out of a cash apron and not a register.)

Customer: “Look, I don’t want it anymore. I’ve got work tomorrow and I need that cash.”

Me: “We’re really not supposed to do returns, but—”

(I’m about to tell him I’ll call my manager and ask for assistance, but he throws his hands up and storms off. I watch in surprise as he rips the shirt off his back and throws it into the street. He starts to walk away, but then stops and runs back to pick up the shirt. I think he’s going to leave with it until he actually tries to shove the shirt into a prop mailbox nearby. When he realizes there’s no actual opening, he leans down and shoves the shirt down the storm drain. I turn to my coworker.)

Me: “He literally just threw $40 down the drain.”

(I don’t know if anyone will ever get the shirt out of the drain or what it will look like when they do.)

Special Opposite Day Sale!

| Vancouver, BC, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre

(A customer comes up to my till with a basket full of items, which I ring up for her.)

Me: “That will be [total].”

Customer: “Oh, that much? I guess I got caught up in the sale… I don’t need all of this. Hmm.”

(She begins sorting through her purchase, separating it into two piles. One she pushes toward me, the other she pushes aside. I restart the transaction, scanning only the items she gave me.)

Me: “Okay, then that’s [new total].”

Customer: “Yeah, that’s better.”

(She pays for her purchase. As her receipt is printing, my coworker at the next till indicates the pile I didn’t scan.)

Coworker: “Are those going back onto the floor?”

Me: “Yeah.”

Customer: “No! I just bought those!”

Me: “What? No, you bought these.”

(I indicate the pile which she handed me and watched me scan.)

Customer: “What the heck?! I don’t want those things!”

Me: “Oh… sorry. Okay.”

(I returned the items she had just purchased and sold her the ones in the other pile, but I still have no idea what planet she was from to think that handing items to a cashier is the best way to convey that you *don’t* want to buy them!)

Doing Party Tricks By The Numbers

, | Toronto, ON, Canada | At The Checkout

(The theme park I work for is in the process of changing ownership. As a result, all merchandise labelled with the old management name is sold as 60% off clearance in a special tent sale. Despite the sale’s popularity, I usually work alone in the tent. A customer asks me to price check an item. As the register requires us to override and manually enter the discount for each item separately, I prefer to mentally do the math instead.)

Customer: “How much is this?”

Me: *sees the $30 tag* “With the 60% off, it will be $12, sir.”

Customer: “How did you do that?! Did you memorize all the sale prices?!”

Me: “No, I just calculated in my head, sir.”

Customer: *grabs a nearby item* “Well, how much is THIS, then?”

Me: “That’ll be $6, sir.”

(Customer watches me with a flabbergasted expression and thanks me. Ten minutes later at the register:)

Me: *sees the customer bring an armful of items* “Oh, hello again. Did you find everything all right?”

Customer’s Wife: “Honey, are we getting all of these?”

Customer: *to wife* “No, hush.” *to me* “Can you tell me the prices of these items?”

Me: *looks at the line forming behind him* “Yes, of course!”

(I go over each item with him, and as fast as I can, tell him the prices after the discount.)

Me: “Do you want any of these items, sir?”

Customer: *stares at me like I’m crazy* “Of course not.” *walks away and says to his wife* “See, I told you she could do a pretty cool trick!”

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