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Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

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In The Queue In The Queue

| Portland, OR, USA | At The Checkout, Popular, Technology

(A customer is on the phone when he comes up to the cash register.)

Customer: “I’m really sorry, I know how rude it is that I’m on the phone, but I’ve been on hold for such a long time I don’t want to lose my place in the queue.”

Me: *surprised, since this is the first time anyone has apologized for being on the phone* “Oh, that’s totally fine! I actually really appreciate that you acknowledged that.”

(He only has a couple of items so I ring him up pretty quickly.)

Customer: “Thanks, have a great day!”

Me: “You, too, and may you not be on hold much longer!”

(He laughs and leaves the store. The next customer approaches my register.)

Customer #2: “I can’t believe he was on his phone! That’s so rude!”

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Unable To Vouch For His Common Sense

| Bristol, England, UK | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

(I’m working the tills on a relatively calm day. I serve an elderly customer and he hangs about for a moment.)

Customer: “Those £1 things; do you have one?”

(He’s referring to vouchers that occasionally print with a receipt. One didn’t print with his.)

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, sir, you didn’t get one this time. It varies depending on what’s in your basket and how much you spend.”

Customer: “No, I just want to look at one! You guys ripped me off the other day.”

(I pull a voucher out of the bin, as plenty of people don’t take them, and show it to the gentleman, going through restrictions and expiration.)

Me: “What was the issue last time?”

Customer: “Well, I had one so I decided to get a big bottle of brandy instead of the large one, but I didn’t get the £1 off!”

(I suddenly remember a coworker telling me a story similar to this.)

Me: “Sir, did you hand them the voucher?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “You have to hand them the voucher to get the money off. We don’t know who has them so we don’t ask for them.”

Customer: “That doesn’t make any sense.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, that’s how vouchers work.”

(He left, muttering about how he would try again some other time. I saw the coworker who told me the story later, and told her about the guy. Apparently he’d been doing this every time he’d come in for about a month.)

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Big Mac Attack, Part 2

| UK | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

(I was at my workplace, a well-known burger, fries, and shakes chain, doing my tasks for the night. It is the evening before a bank holiday, so as you can expect, the entirety of Britain wants to get drunk. It is around 7 p.m. when a customer approaches with her husband.)

Customer: *hands me two vouchers* “I want one o’ them an’ one o’ them.”

Me: *notices one of the tickets has an option on it* “Okay, so, on this one, is it [Popular Burger] or [Popular Chicken Sandwich]?”

Customer: “One of each.”

Me: “You can either get the [Popular Burger] or [Popular Chicken Sandwich] on this one.”

Customer: *looks at me confused/angry then it suddenly dawns* “Right I’ll have the [Popular Burger].”

Customer’s Husband: “[My Name], you’re confusin’ her!”

Me: *internally sighs; puts through order, takes money and gives change*

Customer’s Husband: *hands me a voucher of the same choice type* “I’ll have a [Popular Burger] and fries on that.”

Me: “All right, then.”

Customer’s Husband: *turns to wife* ‘See? Simple and straight up so I don’t confuse him!’

Me: *another internal sigh* “That’ll be [price], please.”

Related:
Big Mac Attack

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Disassociated

| NY, USA | At The Checkout

(I am the guilty party in this one. My store has a single queue which leads to a line of eight registers. Cashiers press a button which sounds off “Cashier number three, please,” in order to call the next customer. I am shopping in another location of my store in a different city.)

Speaker: “Cashier number five, please.”

Me: *walks to register six, puts my items down*

Cashier: *with the bored look of someone who goes through this fifty times a day* “I’m on this side, miss.”

Me: “Oh, god. Hi! You won’t believe this after what I just did, but I have an associate discount…” *pulling out card*

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A Regular Defence

| UK | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Popular

(I have worked in a supermarket chain for about eight years. I am recognised by many regular customers and I often have a chat with them. I get a call for till help as I am stacking shelves. I go over and jump on and call people over to my till.)

Me: “Would you like to come over? I have opened this till.”

(A couple of people walk over and one regular offers a woman a place at my till. The woman politely says no. The regular customer looks a little annoyed but comes to me for service. Once I finish ringing her up she stands glaring at the woman who is being served now. I help get rid of the queues and lock my till away. When I get back to the front to pick up some items that need to be put away, the regular grabs my arm and drags me to the woman.)

Regular: “You know what? You were very rude to not want to be served by this young lady. She is sweet and always smiling. If she has ever been rude, then you must have deserved it.” *starts ranting at the woman who is looking very confused*

Me: “[Regular], what’s going on?

Regular: “I offered this lady a place at your till before me but she refused and I think it’s not nice, as you are a lovely person and she shouldn’t dislike you for no apparent reason!”

Me: *smiling at the compliment* “Well, thank you for the compliment but she didn’t refuse because she dislikes me. She refused because store policy states people can’t serve family members and she was respecting that. You see, that’s my mother.”

Regular: *looks between me and my mum* “Oh, dear.” *turns to my mum* “I am so sorry; I hope I didn’t upset you.” *turns and hurries off*

(To this day that customer apologizes to my mum, even though I haven’t worked in that store for almost a year.)

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