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Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

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Should Be On Decaf

| Long Island, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I work at a deli, and for the past month a woman has been coming in and ordering a coffee every day. She is unfailingly polite and friendly, and I begin to look forward to her arrival. One day, she comes in:)

Woman: “Hi, [My Name]. My usual, please?”

Me: “I’m really sorry, [Woman], but the coffee machine is broken. We’re working on fixing it, and it should be fixed by—”

(The woman goes deathly pale, her eyes go as wide as saucers, and she screams at the top of her lungs.)

Woman: “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!”

Me: “[Woman], are you al—”

(She continued screaming like a banshee and dashed out of the deli, screeching and flailing all the while. I never saw her again.)

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It’s Going To Be A Long Weight

| Dunbar, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

(I am a cashier.)

Customer: “Excuse me… but why does that say I am being charged $2.91 for these bananas when they are only 44 cents a pound?”

(I look at the screen to see that the customer confused the weight of the bananas, 2.91, with the price he was being charged, $1.44.)

Me: “No, sir. That’s the weight. The price that you are being charged is here.” *I point to $1.44 on the screen*

Customer: “I know that. But why does it say that I am being charged $2.91 for these bananas?”

(Since I am new at the store, I started to think that this was a prank being done by a few friends of mine who got me the job.)

Me: “No, that’s the weight. Not the price. The price you will be paying is $1.44.”

(At this point, I take my finger and walk the customer through what is on the screen, which looks something like this: 2.91 lbs. X .44 [price per pound] = $1.44)

Customer: “I know that’s the weight—” *points to the weight* “—that’s what I am being charged—” *points to $1.44* “—but why am I still going to pay 2.91?”

Me: “Sir, that’s the weight. Not what you will be paying.”

Next Customer In Line: “Oh, my god!” *picks up his groceries and leaves*

(I am working one of the express lanes and have a line of about five customers, not including the current customer. After this latest exchange, I noticed that my line is completely gone. At this point, I am out of things to say and do.)

Customer: “OH! THAT’S THE WEIGHT! SO I’M PAYING $1.44!”

(After this sudden revelation, I quickly rang the customer’s remaining items and sent him on his way!)

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Making A Meal Out Of The Ordering Process

, | Finland | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

(I work at a drive-thru window most of my shifts and as we usually get much more customers than our volume can handle, so I’ve created a way to ask questions to get through the orders swiftly as well as recommending extra purchases to the orders (as it is part of my job description). This customer comes during dinner hours when we are extremely busy.)

Me: “Welcome, may I take your order?”

Customer: “Yes, I want a [Burger].”

Me: “Would that be the burger or the meal?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “So, the burger?”

Customer: “What? No! The meal!”

Me: “All right, then. What would you like to drink with that?”

Customer: “Yes, a [Meal #2].”

Me: “Okay, so, [Meal #1] and [Meal #2] meals. Would you like any dip sauce with the fries?”

Customer: “Don’t be so hasty. I’m not done yet!”

Me: “Oh, all right. Any other meals?”

Customer: “[Soda]s.”

Me: “So, did you want both of the meals with a [Soda]?”

Customer: “YES!”

Me: “And how about the dip sauce, then? Would you like any?”

Customer: “Just calm down for a moment.”

Me: *slightly confused with the sudden command* “All right, then, would you like anything else?”

Customer: “Yes, two times the garlic sauce.”

Me: “Okay, are you in mood for any desserts or coffee, or was that everything?”

Customer: “No! Nothing more!” *sounds frustrated that I would even ask*

Me: “That would be [sum]. Please drive forward to the window.”

Customer: “Which window?”

Me: “There is only one window.”

Customer: “Which window do I drive to?”

Me: “The only one.”

Customer: “You only have one window?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “How does that work?”

Me: “How about you drive up here and see?”

Customer: “Okay, how much was it?”

Me: “[Repeats the sum].”

Customer: “Thanks. Bye!”

(At this point I can finally go back to serving the customers ahead of him in the line. When the customer arrives at the window I greet him and read out his order to make sure it had everything correct.)

Customer: “Yeah, yeah.” *hands me a bill without listening*

(I don’t really appreciate when customers do this, but I know not to repeat myself because it’s no use at situations like this. I hand him his change and then give him the drinks.)

Customer: “Hey, this is two [Soda]s.”

Me: “That’s right. Did you want something else?”

Customer: “They we supposed to be Diet [Soda]s.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, I must have missed that. Let me change those for you.”

(I change the drinks and then give him rest of his order.)

Customer: “Oh, hey! Add three ice creams to that.”

Me: “What kind of ice creams would you like.”

Customer: “All flavors of those.”

Me: “Sorry, which?”

Customer: “Those.”

(He points to a sign that’s on the wall outside the restaurant out of my view but I gather it must be the newest addition to the menu.)

Me: “Would you like to add anything else to the order?”

Customer: “No, that’s all.”

(I charge his ice creams and go make them. When I return to the window the customer gives me a long look.)

Customer: “You know, you really should calm down and listen what your customers want to order.”