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Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

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Customers Have Thin Shells

| York, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

(I work at a popular discount store. We have a deal going on where you can get 18 medium eggs for one dollar so people have been buying two or three cases at a time. One customer comes up with three cases.)

Me: *opens first case, checks eggs, scans, and puts it in a bag. Does it again with the second. Opens the third, and notices one egg looks cracked so I gently nudge it to look closer*

Customer: “Are you touching my food?”

Me: *stops* “Oh, I apologize, ma’am. This one egg looked cracked but—” *nudges it again* “—it seems to be just a mark.”

Customer: “I can’t believe you’re touching my food. I eat that, you know? When was the last time you washed your hands?”

Me: “I apologize ma’am, but I wanted to make sure none of the eggs were broken before you purchase them.”

Customer: *becomes angrier* “No! I want another case! You’re touching my food with nasty hands! How am I supposed to eat it now?”

Me: *confused* “Ma’am, I didn’t realize you ate the shell.”

Customer: *fumes, throws down her money, and walks out with all three cases*

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Pinning Down The Repeat Problem

| NE, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

(I work for a fast food restaurant chain that’s pretty much based in Nebraska. The following happens within the span of a week while I’m working drive-thru by myself.)

Me: “Thank you for choosing [Fast Food Place]. How may I help you?”

Lady: “Can I have two separate orders, please?”

Me: “Sure. What can I get you for your first order?”

Lady: “A number one with a Pepsi for the first item.”

Me: “Okay. That’ll be [total] for that. And the second?”

Lady: “A number nine with ranch and a Dr. Pepper, please.”

Me: “All right. That’ll be [total] for that, then. I’ll see you at the window!”

(She pulls up as I get her items ready. I open the window and greet her.)

Me: “Hey there! [Total] for the first one!”

(She hands me a card, which I put in the chip reader. It tells me I need a PIN, so I go to hand the machine out to her.)

Me: “Sorry, but I need a PIN, please.”

Lady: “Oops! Hang on a sec, I need to call my friend; it’s her card.”

(I pull back my arm and wait while she calls her friend. When she hangs up I go to hand it back.)

Lady: “Oh, it’s [PIN].”

Me: *stares in shock* “I’m… I’m sorry?”

Lady: *moronically repeats PIN*

Me: “O-Okay…”

(I type it in and it goes through. I hand back the receipt and the first meal. The rest of the transaction goes smoothly but I remain in shock at the pure stupidity of this woman. I figure that she’ll remain the clear winner of the “Moron of the Month” award, but alas, a week later another woman comes through who’s just as stupid.)

Me: “Thank you for choosing [Fast Food Place]. How may I help you?”

Lady #2: “Yes, I’d like a number five, please, with a diet Pepsi.”

Me: “Anything else today?”

Lady #2: “No, thank you.”

Me: “Okay, that’ll be [total]. I’ll see you at the window!”

(I get her drink as the lady pulls up. I then open the window and greet her, thinking this will go as it normally does. It doesn’t.)

Me: “Hey there! [Total], please.”

Lady #2: *hands me a card*

(I place the card in the chip reader and lo and behold, I need her PIN. I go to hand the machine out to her.)

Me: “Sorry, but I need your PIN.”

Lady #2: “It’s [PIN].”

Me: *stares at her in total shock* “Wh-wha…?”

Lady #2: *louder and clearly oblivious to her stupidity* [PIN NUMBER].”

(I didn’t say anything this time as I put in her PIN for her. It went through, and I handed her back her card. Everything else proceeded as normal and she left with her food, satisfied. Either I have a very trustworthy face, or this is the Month of the Morons!)

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Must Have Been Some Mutant Chicken

| USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I work at a popular fire grilled chicken store as a cook. We have a 16-piece leg and thigh meal which has 8 legs and 8 thighs.)

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Store]. What can I get for you today?”

Customer: “Hi, can I have the 16 piece leg and thigh meal?”

Me: “Absolutely! Your total comes out to [amount].”

Customer: “Thank you. Do these legs all come from the same chicken?”

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She’s The Carrier

| UK | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

(In the UK we have implemented a 5p charge on carrier bags; this is to help reduce the number of carrier bags going into landfills. Our store had implemented this well before the other stores. If a customer came in for one item that was easy to carry or put in pocket/handbag no carrier bag was offered, yet if they had sufficient items you would offer a carrier bag but explain it would cost them 5p. A very posh looking woman enters the store, walks up the sweets aisle, picks up a small chocolate bar and come over to my till.)

Me: “Hello, did you find everything you needed today?”

Customer: *said in a posh voice but also very belittling* “Yes, that will be all.”

Me: “Okay, that is [price], please.”

Customer: “Give me a carrier bag.”

Me: “Okay, but carrier bags are 5p now, what with our store’s initiatives to—”

Customer: *cuts me off* “I AM NOT PAYING FOR A CARRIER BAG!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but it just company policy—”

Customer: “I WILL NOT PAY FOR A CARRIER BAG! I HAVE ASKED YOU FOR ONE AND I WOULD LIKE A CARRIER BAG SUITABLE FOR MY PURCHASE!”

(A queue has built up now and I am beginning to lose my temper. Suddenly an idea pops in my head.)

Me: “One moment, please.”

(I walk out of my till, and walk over to the fruit and veg section nearby, pick up a small plastic bag that would used to place small amounts of loose fruit or veg in. Walk back to till and place chocolate bar inside bag and hand it to customer.)

Me: “There we go. So, that was [price], please.”

Customer: “WHAT IS THAT?”

Me: “Well, it is a carrier bag suitable for the small nature of your product and will not cost you a penny extra on your [price], please.”

(The queue of people are making comments about how silly she has been, asking for a carrier bag for a chocolate bar and refusing to pay for a one.)

Customer: “I WANT TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER!”

(The manager is called down, and the story was told from both sides with other customers backing me up as she was accusing me of yelling and swearing. The customer was basically told the same thing that I was trying to say about carrier bags. She admitted defeat but told my manager she wanted this logged as an official complaint against me. Manager pulled me to one side saying by company policy they are meant to give me a verbal warning but that they found it so funny that no such action would take place.)

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The Story Isn’t Worthy Of The Magazine

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

(I work at a large supermarket chain which releases a new free magazine for customers each month which includes recipes as well as information about new products we sell and promotions we are running. The magazines are very popular and as each store only gets a certain amount, and there is no limit to how many a customer can take, it’s not uncommon for us to run out before the month is over. This takes place the day the new magazine has come out.)

Customer #1: “I love these magazines! Would it be all right if I took three?”

Me: “You can have as many as you would like!”

Customer #1: “Awesome!” *jokingly* “I like to sell them on the black market!”

Me: *jokingly* “The trick is to wait until we run out, then you’ll make a killing!

(After Customer #1 has left, Customer #2 puts at least ten of the magazines in his bag.)

Customer #2: “I can’t believe idiots pay money for these! I can’t wait to make millions!”

Me: *laughs as I think he’s joking*

Customer #2: “I bet I can get at least $50 per magazine!”

(Out of morbid curiosity I later checked online. It turned out he tried to sell a free magazine online and got no bids. Clearly he thought free magazines would be a hot selling item at $50 plus $10 shipping each.)

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