Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

Walk A Mile In Another Retailer’s Shoes

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | At The Checkout

(I am dressed in my retail uniform while shopping at a competitor.)

Customer: “How much are these shoes?”

Me: “They’re free. I’ll call the door greeter and let them know.”

Customer: “…really?”

Me: “Yeah, no price tag means free item, right?”

Customer: “Seriously, they’re free?”

(Pause.)

Me: “I work for [Other Retailer]. I have no idea how much those are or where to check.”

Refunder Blunder, Part 26

| CA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

Customer: “Hello, I would like to return this, please.” *hands me a deodorant*

Me: *takes the cap off and sees that the container is empty* “I’m sorry, I can’t return this. It’s already been used.”

Customer: “Exactly. So I don’t need it anymore.”

Me: “…”

Related:
Refunder Blunder, Part 25

Refunder Blunder, Part 24

Refunder Blunder, Part 23

Getting Nowhere Fast

| Athens, GA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

(I have been working as a cashier for only a couple months now and have been struggling with going as fast as the company wants me to, according to the ‘Items Per Minute’ score tracked by the register. On this particular night, I notice that my score is significantly higher than it has ever been before, so I decide to challenge myself and try to get my score as high as possible. All of my customers seem very enthusiastic when I explain this to them, even complimenting me on how great a job I’m doing. Right before I clock out, only two customers are remaining in my line. I do not mention what is going on to either customer; I just process their groceries as normal.)

Customer #1: *in a very annoyed tone* “You need to calm down!”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer #1: “You’re going way too fast! You need to go home and calm down!”

Me: *stunned and confused* “Well, I’m going home after I finish checking out you and the man behind you.”

Customer #1: “Good! You’re way too fast! You’re rushing people!” *storms off angrily*

Customer #2: *walks up to me as I begin scanning his groceries* “Don’t listen to her, honey. You’re doing a wonderful job. Don’t let her tell you how to do your job.”

Me: “Oh, thank you! Yeah, I don’t know. I’m just confused more than anything. I’ve never heard of anyone complaining that their cashier was too fast before.”

In Line And Out Of Line, Part 16

| Temecula, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

(A customer goes into the wrong line to do a return. She is a woman older than I and has with her a young girl, probably her daughter. While taking care of a layaway, I ask the lady if she is in line for a layaway, which is what the line is for. The following exchange ensues:)

Customer: “No, it is for a return.”

Me: “This line is for layaways only; the other line is for purchases and returns.”

(She immediately starts screaming at me.)

Customer: “I HAVE TO GO ALL THE WAY TO THE BACK OF THAT LINE?!?”

(The line has 2-3 customers, all with small purchases.)

Me: “That is the purchase and return line.”

Customer: “One of your employees told me that returns go to this line!”

Me: “Well, I can take you after this person.”

Customer: *whispering venomously to me* “I’ll make a scene, and you don’t want me to make a scene.”

(So I beat her to the punch.)

Me: *yelling* “Ma’am, I ALREADY told you I would go ahead and take you after this customer. This is the layaway line, and that is the purchase and returns line. I am doing you a favor.”

Customer: *in shock, quietly* “Thank you.”

(I finished up the layaway with the very nice lady I had been joking with before and took self-righteous return lady. She started up again, this time in a much more polite manner, telling me how she was told that that was the return line. I said nothing to her the entire transaction, so she stopped talking. I handed her the receipt without words, put back on my customer service face, and politely called the next person that had been in line longer than she had. I told my supervisor about it later, and she said, “Good for you. Do not let them run you over.” I just feel sorry for the kid.)

Related:
In Line And Out Of Line, Part 15
In Line And Out Of Line, Part 14
In Line And Out Of Line, Part 13

Doodles Of An Adult Nature

| ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Movies & TV

(I’m a cashier at a grocery store, and I like to draw in my free time. It’s a slow day, so I pull out my doodle book and finish up with colouring a picture I’ve been working on. It’s a picture of a female character from a video game I enjoy. Note: said character usually wears just a tank top and a skirt. I don’t notice the customer at my counter.)

Customer: *clears throat*

Me: “OH! I’m sorry, ma’am. I didn’t see you there.” *I start to put away my drawing*

Customer: “Oh, no! Would you mind if I looked at that picture?”

Me: “Oh, uh, sure.” *I show it to her*

Customer: “What an interesting drawing. Does she have a name?”

Me: *scanning her items* “Yup, she’s called Pauleen.”

Customer: “What a nice name. Did you make her yourself?”

Me: “Well, I made the drawing, not the character. She’s from a video game called [Game Series].”

Customer: “Cool! But, uh, does she always wear so little clothes?”

Me: “Yes. Here, I’ll show you.” *I pull out my phone and show the customer the official art I used for the basis of my drawing*

Customer: “Oh. Okay, good. I thought you were drawing porn or something!”

Me: “Haha! No. I don’t do that. I have another picture of her, though.”

Customer: “Oh, can I see it?”

(Note: The page that my other drawing is on accidentally got torn out of my doodle book, so I keep it at my house.)

Me: “No, sorry.”

Customer: “Aw, why not?”

Me: “Well, it—”

Customer: *suddenly backs away in horror* “WAIT! I know what the problem is! You DID draw her naked, didn’t you!”

Me: “What?! N—”

Customer: “Don’t lie to me, young man! You drew a porno version of this picture and posted it online!”

Me: “No, it—”

Customer: “You probably think it’s ‘hot,’ too! You sick b******!”

Me: “For the love of God, lady! I can’t show you the other picture because it’s at my house!”

Customer: *turns red and runs out with her groceries*

(Later.)

Coworker: “So, apparently you draw [Game Series] porn?”

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