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Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

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Making Daddy Proud

| Pasadena, MD, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Popular

(At my store, whenever a customer does a return it usually takes two-three business days before the bank refunds the money. There is nothing we can do on our end, since the transaction is considered closed.)

Customer: *storms up to my counter* “I demand to see a manager.”

Me: “That would be me, sir. How can I help?”

Customer: “I said a MAN-ager.”

Me: *I am a 5’3” woman* “I am the MAN-ager, sir. How may I help?”

Customer: “Fine. I returned something yesterday, and the money isn’t in my account.”

Me: “What time did the return take place?”

Customer: “Like, 6-ish.”

Me: “Okay, normal return time is around two-three business days, but since you did the return after normal bank hours it may take a bit longer.”

Customer: “Ugh! Typical woman, always trying to take a man’s money.”

(This comment has pushed my buttons and I fail to stop my mouth.)

Me: “I don’t need your money; I have my own, thanks.”

Customer: “Yeah, I bet daddy gave it to you.”

Me: *stone faced* “My dad’s dead.”

Customer: *embarrassed* “Uh… well, I um, bet your boyfriend gives you money.”

Me: “I’m gay, and single.”

Customer: “I, uh…” *quickly leaves*

Coworker: *turns to me* “I didn’t know your dad was dead.”

Me: “He’s not. I just throw that at them, because they don’t know how to handle it. But, I am gay and single.”

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In For A Penny…

| MI, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Money, Popular

(I am working as a bank teller at a bank branch near our city’s mall, so a lot of my customers are mall employees either making deposits, getting change for their stores, or cashing their paychecks. I am waiting on a newer employee from of the men’s clothing stores, and since I didn’t know his name yet I had been referring to him (in my head) as Tie Guy.)

Me: “Hi, what can I do for you today?”

Tie Guy: “I just need to get my paycheck cashed, please.”

Me: “No problem, it’ll be just a minute.” *I process his check through the computer* “Would you like it back any certain way?” *I always ask because some customers are extremely picky about their money*

Tie Guy: *jokingly* “American currency is fine.”

(I reach under my counter and pull out a $10 box of rolled pennies, which is pretty heavy and makes a loud thud when it hits the countertop.)

Me: *also jokingly* “I hope you brought a suitcase then. It’s going to take a lot of boxes.”

(Tie Guy just stares at the box, and then me for a few seconds, then starts laughing.)

Tie Guy: “Maybe I should be more specific next time?”

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Can’t Ketchup With The Explanation

| USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

(At our store, everything costs one dollar unless specifically marked otherwise. When items are slightly damaged, half-open, missing pieces, or otherwise not perfect but can still be sold, we tag them with an orange sticker and put them in a cart with other half-off items. A manager has to do the price adjustment when a customer comes to the register. I’m working the register.)

Customer: “Just these today, please. I found this ketchup in the half-off cart.”

(I examine the ketchup and it does have an orange sticker as well as a manager’s initials, but there is no damage whatsoever.)

Me: “You found this in the half-off cart?”

Customer: “Yes, so it’s only fifty cents?”

Me: “I’m sorry; I think there was a mistake. There’s no reason this should be half off.”

Customer: “Oh, well, when it was in the cart the cap was broken. But there were a lot of other ketchups so I just switched it out.”

Me: “So the broken lid is on another ketchup bottle?”

Customer: “It’s not a problem, is it? There were a lot of other ketchup bottles.”

Me: “If it’s not damaged, I can’t give you half off.”

Customer: “But there are other ketchup bottles. Why can’t I just replace the cap?”

Me: “Because then we still have the damaged one in our stock. The damaged cap is why it’s fifty cents. If it isn’t damaged, it’s full price.”

Customer: “But there are plenty of other ketchups for me to switch the cap with!”

(I realized I didn’t have my thoughts together enough to explain this better, so I called my manager over to help while I continued to check out other customers. I don’t know what exactly was said between them, but she did end up paying full price for her ketchup and never did completely understand why.)