Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

Serving Donald Trump

| Portland, OR, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry

(I work as a U-Scan attendant at a large grocery store. The company is currently running a promotion for a new line of Mexican food, which means we get to wear t-shirts that say “Taste of Mexico” on the front.)

Customer: “Why are you wearing all that Mexican stuff? We have enough Mexicans around here.”

Me: *walking away* “Oh… kay…”

THIS STORY HAS YET TO BE TITLED

| NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(The customer buys her tickets with a credit card so I hand her my pen to sign the receipt. While she’s signing it…)

Customer: “Where is the bathroom? I just changed my daughter’s diaper and need to wash my hands.”

Me: “It’s right over there… and you can keep the pen.”

 

Dear readers! You’ll notice that this story doesn’t have a title. That is because we’d like to invite you to come up with a suggestion of your own in the comments below. It can be witty, punny, surreal, anything you want – just keep it PG please! The funniest suggestion will become the title of the story. Good luck!

An Unhealthy Understanding Of Health

| PA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I am in line to buy a hot chocolate in the coffee shop section of a bookstore. I notice two women in line behind me, wondering out loud if they have hot chocolate.)

Woman #1: “Do you think they have hot cocoa? I really want hot cocoa.”

Me: “They do, actually. I’m getting some myself! They have the BEST hot chocolate.”

Woman #2: “Oh, that’s great! I wanted to get some since I just read that hot cocoa is really healthy for you!”

Me: “Healthy?”

Woman #2: “Yeah! They said that it is SO healthy for you, and that you should drink some every day!” *she notices the pastry display* “Oh! I think I’ll get a cupcake, too! Those are SUPER healthy!”

They Have You At Check-Mate

| AR, USA | At The Checkout, Money, Popular

(This particular customer has come to our store multiple times and this always happens.)

Cashier: “May I please see an ID?”

Customer: “Sure, sure, but my name isn’t on the check. My husband’s name is on it and we have the same address though.”

(She pulls out her ID and hands it to the cashier.)

Cashier: “I’m sorry but unless your name is on the check, I can’t take this form of payment.”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous. I do this all the time. She let me do it before!”

(The customer points at me.)

Me: “No, ma’am, I did not. Our policy is that we cannot accept personal checks unless they have your name, which matches your ID, printed on it.”

Customer: “Come on, just take my check. I swear you’ve taken it before.”

(At this point she looks behind herself at the next customer.)

Customer: “Can you believe this! How ridiculous is this?”

Customer #2: “Don’t look at me. I’m not going to help you try to get these girls fired.”

(After that the customer was just done. She left her cart full of things on the counter and stormed out all angrily.)

Dispatched With Relative(s) Ease

| CO, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Popular

(I work in a family restaurant. The family is an elderly couple who pass their restaurant onto their two children, a brother and sister.)

Customer: “I’m [Male Owner]’s brother, and he always gives me a discount.”

Me: *seeing red flags* “Oh, okay. What’s your name?”

Customer: “Ryan.”

Me: “Okay, he’s actually here right now. I’ll let him know you’re here.”

Customer: *practically jumping out of his chair* “NO, don’t do that! It’s busy. I don’t want to bother him.”

Me: “Don’t be silly! We only have a few tables. He’d be mad if I didn’t tell him you were here. Plus, you’re family. He can set aside a few minutes. I’ll have him come out here, and I’ll let him know you want a discount, too.”

(I walk away, but instead of walking to the back, I walk right to the hostess stand and wait. I watch them as they get up, get their coats, and begin to leave, avoiding eye contact with me.)

Me: *with a patronizing half-smile* “Have a good night.”