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Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

Trying To Force It Through

| QLD, Australia | At The Checkout, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV, Technology

Customer: *waving shirt in front of scanner* “Sorry, I can’t scan this item! I’ve tried so many times.”

Me: “Sorry about that.” *scans item in one go* “There you go!”

Customer: “Oh… uh…”

(I notice it’s a ‘Trust Me, I’m a Jedi’ Shirt.)

Me: “It’s okay… I’m a Jedi.”

Lack-Of-Clothes Make The Lack-Of-A Man

| UK | At The Checkout, Money, Rude & Risque

(An older customer comes to my checkout. He has been staring at me a lot while he has been waiting for service. I am 17 at the time.)

Customer: “Are you from [area in my town]?”

Me: “Oh, no. I don’t live there.”

Customer: “Are you sure? I’ve seen you around there, at [address that is not mine].”

Me: “Oh, no. You must be mistaken.”

(The transaction continues, extremely awkward as he keeps insisting he ‘knows me from somewhere’ and has ‘seen my house’ and things to that effect. I brush him off as one of the harmless, odd customers that one sees in a day.)

Me: “Right, so that comes to £52.56.”

Customer: “Oh I only have £50 on me.”

Me: “Well, if you have no other means of paying, we’ll have to take something off.”

Customer: “Like your clothes?”

Me: “…no.”

Customer: “Like my clothes?”

(I am speechless and upset, and about to go into a rant and call a security guard over, when the next customer intervenes.)

Next Customer: “You are soooo creepy, mate.”

(The customer scuttles off after paying me the full amount, obviously embarrassed about being caught harassing a teenage girl!)

Lucky Dollar Thirteen

| OH, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Math & Science

(It is my first day working the cash register, and everything is going well. A customer approaches my register with a handful of items. At first, she can’t figure out which items she wishes to use for which promotions, constantly changing her mind. Then she wants to use multiple (expired) coupons on her purchase. I call my coworker over to help explain to the customer how the promotions and coupons work. We finally get her straightened out on the promotions, and then this exchange happens.)

Customer: “Okay, I think I got it. Now, with this coupon I get one item free, right?”

Me:” Yes, ma’am, one item up to $13.”

Customer: “Okay, well, these items here are about $13 total. Can I use those?”

Me: “No, ma’am, the coupon is for one item up to $13.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. I’d like to use this item, then.”

(She places her coupon on a $14 item.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you can’t use the coupon to get that item free; it’s $14.”

Customer: “But, you said $13.”

Coworker: “Yes, up to $13, but that is $14.”

Customer: “But, you said $13.”

Coworker: “Yes, up to $13. THAT’S $14.”

Customer: “But… didn’t you say $13?”

Coworker:  Yes, the coupon is up to $13. That item is $14.”

(This continues back and forth for nearly a minute.)

Customer: “OH! You mean INCLUDING $13!”

Coworker: “Yes?”

Customer: “Well, the coupon should say that. I’ll find another item.”

(The customer goes to get another item– We still don’t know if she understood a word we said. Since we don’t know how long the customer is going to take, I invite the next customer in line to come to the register.)

Next Customer: *sets her items on the counter with a gracious smile* “I have four items and no coupons.”

Me: “I am so sorry for your wait, ma’am…”