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Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

Gonna Spread Her Terror Across The Street

, | NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Religion

(I’m a customer waiting in line at a local convenience store. A man and a woman walk in, grab drinks out of the cooler and head for the register to pay. Suddenly, the woman throws the drink on the ground.)

Woman: “Oh, h*** no! I don’t buy nothing from no towelhead, Muslim terrorists!”

(The man behind the register, who is Middle Eastern, says nothing.)

Woman: “You know what? F*** this place. I’m going to [Store across the street] and buy my stuff from Americans!”

(Both of them storm out the door and head across the street. I walk up to the counter.)

Me: “Well, that was interesting.”

Clerk: “They’re not going to like it any better over there.”

Me: “No?”

Clerk: *laughing* “My brother owns that store!”

Reading The Smoke Signal Loud And Clear

| Columbus, OH, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior

(I’m working third-shift in a quiet part of town, when a car pulls up, a man steps out, walks in, and comes up to the counter.)

Customer: “Pack of Marlboro Reds.”

Me: “Sure thing. May I see your ID?”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “Your ID. I need to see it before I can sell you cigarettes.”

Customer: “Are you f****** kidding me?”

Me: “…no, sir. I need to see ID before I can sell you cigarettes.”

Customer: “Look, I know this is a s***ty little town, but in a real city like Cleveland, they don’t ask people older than 18 for ID for just cigarettes.”

Me: “Sir, I doubt that. I’m abiding by state law, and that applies in Cleveland, too.”

Customer: “Just give me the smokes!”

Me: “Sir, I can’t do that without ID.”

Customer: “You know what? You’re just some dumba** kid who works a s***ty job, and you’ll never amount to anything because you live in this piece of s*** town. If you had a real job or weren’t a total loser, you wouldn’t be such a piece of s*** about this. You won’t ever be anything in life, you f***.”

Me: “That might be true, but, you know what I can do that you can’t?”

Customer: “WHAT?”

(I turn, grab a pack of my brand of cigarettes off the shelf, scan them, pull out my wallet, swipe my card, grab my receipt, open the pack, and slide a cigarette behind my ear, before pocketing the smokes and receipt.)

Me: “I can buy cigarettes here.”

Customer: “F*** YOU!”

(He turns and storms out.)

Me: “Have a great mornin’!”

The Kind Of Customer We Want

, | Oklahoma City, OK, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

(I pull in to a local fast food drive-thru.)

Clerk: *through the speaker* “Hello and thanks for choosing [Company]. What will it be today?”

Me: *I’ve already decided, so I give my order with no hesitation* “I’ll have [order] with a [drink].”

Clerk: *playfully with a sassy tone* “All right! A man who knows what he wants.”

(We finish the order process. I pull around and wait my turn, several cars deep, before I finally get to the window.)

Clerk: “Hey! It’s the man who knows what he wants.”

Me: *jokingly* “I’ve changed my mind.”

Clerk: “Noooooooooo….”