icon_checkout

Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

Coupons Can Be Taxing

Pittsburgh, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Math & Science, Theme Of The Month

(I manage a fast food/coffee shop. A customer presents a coupon for $1.99 coffee. I make her drink and I ring it up.)

Me: “That’s going to be $2.11.”

Customer: “That’s with the coupon?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “But it’s supposed to be $1.99.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. $1.99 plus tax.”

Customer: “But why is it $2.11? That seems like too much.”

Me: “Well its $1.99 plus 12 cents tax which comes to $2.11.”

Customer: “That doesn’t make any sense! It should be $1.99!”

(This goes on for a couple minutes and my boss is next to me counting money.)

Customer: *to my boss* “You understand what I’m saying right?”

Boss: “I’m not sure I do. The drink is $1.99 plus tax and the tax is 12 cents so the total should be $2.11.”

(The customer stops and thinks for a second and then, looking quite embarrassed turns to me.)

Customer: “OH, MY GOSH I’m so sorry! I really need this coffee!”

In Line And Out Of Line, Part 6

| Chicago, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

( am around five and I am at the grocery store with my dad. We are waiting in line and it is long because only a few registers are open. When we are next to be rung up a business lady defiantly walks in front of me and my dad and proceeds to unload her cart.)

Me: “Hey, dad, that lady just budged us!”

(To this my dad replied loudly enough for everyone around us to hear:)

Dad: “Well, [My Name], it’s all right for her to do that because she is important. Far more important than we are. In fact, she probably works for the government and she has to cut in front of us because they need her to help save the world. So, don’t get angry that she walked in front of us like we didn’t exist because she’s way too important to the country to wait in line like a normal person. In fact, she probably doesn’t wait in line anywhere because lives could be lost if she doesn’t get her milk and eggs three minutes sooner.”

(At this point the cashier has stopped ring her items up and everyone around us was watching. The woman turned to us, a mixture of annoyed and embarrassed.)

Woman: “I, uh… You can go in front of me if you’d like…”

(My dad holds up his hand.)

Dad: “I would never, ma’am. Your time is far too important for us mere peasants to waste. You go off and keep protecting our country.”

(She was completely red as she finished her purchase and walked out quickly.)

Related:
In Line And Out Of Line, Part 5
In Line And Out Of Line, Part 4
In Line And Out Of Line, Part 3

Differing Degrees Of Snobbery

| Memphis, TN, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, School

(I’m a cashier at a small, high-end grocery store. One day, towards the end of my shift, a middle aged man and a girl, around 11 or 12, walk up. Note that I appear around five years younger than I actually am and took the cashier job out of necessity.)

Me: “That’ll be $25.62, sir.”

Customer: *ignoring the other customers waiting behind him* “Are you in school?”

Me: “I… excuse me?”

Customer: “Are. You. In. School?”

Me: “Well, no, I already—”

Customer: *talking to the girl* “See, this is why you gotta study hard! I don’t want you working some crap job because you didn’t go to college.”

Me: “Um, sir? That’ll be $25.62.”

Customer: *slams $30 into my hand*

(I get his change and hand it to him along with his receipt. As the next person in line starts putting their items onto the counter, he stands in place and starts counting his change.)

Customer: “You shorted me.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. How much did I give you?”

Customer: “This is why you have to work a crap job like this! Because you can’t even count right!”

Me: “Sir, I need to see how much I gave you so I can give you the right amount.”

Customer: “You gave me $4.38.”

Me: “…that’s right. It should be on your receipt.”

Customer: “No, I need a five.”

(I print out another copy of his receipt and show him that his change was correct. He stands there and argues with me, so I call over the manager to talk to him. The conversation takes a while, so when my next customers are done, I stroll over.)

Manager: “I don’t know how else to tell you… that IS the amount you’re owed.”

Customer: “No, it’s basic math! Can’t anyone here do basic math?”

Me: “Here.” *I pull out my phone and show him on its calculator* “It all adds up to $30.”

Customer: “What do you know?! You didn’t even go to school!”

Manager: “I thought you went to [Well Known Private College]?”

Me: “I did. I have a bachelor’s from there.”

Customer: *stunned* “What? How? You’re a kid.”

Me: “I’m 25, sir.”

Customer: “Why didn’t you say so! I guess it’s okay, then.”

(He and the girl finally exit.)

Manager: “…that’s the kind of man who gives his credit card number to a prince of Nigeria.”