icon_checkout

Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

Reached Rock-Bottom Dollar

| NC, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Theme Of The Month

(I’m finishing up a transaction with a customer when she hands me two coupons. I scan the $5 off coupon first, and then the 10% off coupon.)

Me:“Your total comes to [total].”

Customer #1: “YOU JUST CHEATED ME OUT OF A DOLLAR!”

Me: *taken aback* “I’m sorry, what?”

Customer #1: “You scanned the $5 one first, which then lowered the price so the 10 % off comes out to less!”

Me:“Oh, I’m sorry it looks that way. It’s actually just the way our system works. The $5 coupon is seen as a coupon, and not a form of tender. You haven’t actually paid $5, so if I had scanned the 10% one first, once I scanned the $5 one, it would have lowered your discount to the same.”

Customer #1: “No, it wouldn’t have. You’re just making that up. You did that on purpose!”

Me: “Ma’am, I promise you it would have. That’s actually why I did the $5 one first, because I’ve seen it happen, and customers get upset when they see the discount get smaller.”

Customer #1: “Look, I know it’s only $1, but what you’re saying makes no sense. You have no idea what you’re talking about!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’ve been here three years. I can promise you that is what would have happened, However, if you would like, I can call the manager up here to void the transaction and I will do it your way so you can see.”

Customer #1: “No, I don’t have time for that! It’s only $1, but you cheated me. I don’t have time for this!”

(This goes on for a full three minutes of her yelling at me for cheating her out of $1 and me offering to have the transaction voided and her insisting that she doesn’t have time. Finally, a customer at the tag engraving machine decides that he’s had enough.)

Customer #2: “Lady! You keep insisting that it is no big deal and that you don’t have time, but you’ve wasted her time and mine by arguing even though she has offered numerous times to do it your way. I will give you the d*** dollar if it means you will shut the h*** up and just leave!”

Customer #1: *grunts, glares at me and him, RIPS her bags out of my hands, and storms off*

Customer #2: *sighs* “You couldn’t pay me enough to work even one shift for you.”

Help You To Help Me

| OR, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

(My mother and I go to her favorite store, which is offering a 50% coupon. An employee is rather helpful with us, and when mom has other questions about an extra coupon, the employee explains that we can use both.)

Mom: *brings the purses up to the register*

Employee: “And that will be all today?”

Mom: “Yeah, and, also…” *fishes out the coupon* “I’ve got this extra coupon that I was told—” *stops herself, and realizes it’s the same employee* “Oh! You already know this! You’re me! I mean, you helped me!”

(I couldn’t stop laughing.)

Sharing Is Berry Important

| London, England, UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(A young girl and her granddad approach my till and he indicates the open bag of cranberries in her hand.)

Man: “I’d like to pay for those, please.”

Me: “Of course, sir. That’ll be 99p, please.”

Girl: “Would you like one, Granddad?”

Man: “No, thank you, darling.”

(The little girl then reaches over the counter to offer the bag to me.)

Girl: “Would you like one?”

Me: *surprised* “Oh, no, thank you! But it’s very nice of you to offer.”

Girl: *sternly* “You should ALWAYS share!”