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Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

That’s No Way To Talk To A Customer

| CA, USA | At The Checkout, Health & Body, Top

(I’m the customer in this story. I’m checking out at a grocery store and the cashier has a sign out that reads ‘I’ve lost my voice. Please work with me.’)

Cashier: *nods at me by way of greeting; points to the sign*

Me: *nods and give thumbs up to indicate that I saw it*

Cashier: *scans a bottle of wine; pantomimes opening his wallet*

Me: *wordlessly show him my ID*

Cashier: *holds up a bag; raises eyebrow to ask if I want one*

Me: *nods; hold up one finger*

Me: *out loud* “Oh… I guess I can still talk, huh?”

Cashier: *smiles and writes me a quick note on a scrap of paper*

Note: “Don’t feel bad. You’re at least the 10th person today.”

Doesn’t Have The Gift(card) Of Foresight, Part 2

| SK, Canada | At The Checkout, Money

(Customer is paying at the checkout at a world-wide chain supermarket.)

Me: “That’ll be $11 please.”

Customer: *digging out pockets of pants, jacket, and purse* “Where the h*** is my card?”

(Five minutes pass; the line starts to build up.)

Customer: “I’m sorry; I’m looking for my gift cards.” *place five cards on the desk*

Me: “It’s okay, take your time.”

Customer: “You can help others first.” *keeps searching for more gift cards*

(I clear the rest of the line in five minutes.)

Customer: “Here, try this one.”

(Hands me a gift card with three-year-old design and at least 10 cards on the desk. I swipe and it get a $0 balance.)

Me: “Sorry, madam, this one didn’t work out. It has a $0 balance.”

Customer: “Okay, then try this one.”

(I kept trying with her other five cards and they all turn out $0.)

Customer: “How the f*** can that be? That’s why I never trust any of these gift cards! Do they expire or what? See, that one’s got a $20 written (hand-written) on top! Get me your manager!”

Me: “Madam, as far as I know they are required by law not to have an expiry date, and I can get you the manager.”

Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

(I explained the situation.)

Manager: “Well, madam, these cards will never expire, they can only be used up, is there any chance that they’ve already been used up?”

Customer: “H*** no! See this f****** writing?! It says $20 and that one got $30 and that—”

Manager: “Well, then, I can help you figure out how much they worth at my till.”

(The manager cancelled her order at my till, and the customer went with manager to check values of her cards. Later, when I talked to the manager, she said all but one of her cards had value, which added up to $25.30. And after double checking with the pin number of each gift card, Manager was able to pull out records of all the gift cards, rendering the customer speechless and walk away shamefully. Oh, yeah, and she still kept all those empty gift cards in her purse mixed altogether with the only charged one.)

Related:
Doesn’t Have The Gift(card) Of Foresight

Putting The Prices Into Perspective

| Newport, KY, USA | At The Checkout, Health & Body

Customer: “How do you sleep at night charging this much for popcorn?”

Me: *completely fed up with this crap* “I lie awake at night thinking about my mother’s cancer treatments.”

(No response from Customer, and awed shock from coworkers.)