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Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

New Ways To Sleep On The Job

| Muskegon, MI, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Rude & Risque

(I am a small, twenty-year-old female working the closing shift at my store. A very large, unclean looking man is at my till about fifteen minutes before close. He’s been silent up until I’ve started ringing up the last items he has.)

Customer: “You get out soon?”

(I don’t find this question odd, as many people ask it just to make conversation.)

Me: “We close at eleven, so ,yeah. I get out just a little after that.”

Customer: “Do you want a job working for me?”

Me: “Uh… no. That’s okay. I already have a job here, and I don’t really have time for a second job. Thanks, though. Your total is [total].”

Customer: “Well, it’s only nights. You don’t have plans after work, do you? The job pays well.”

Me: “Actually, I do have plans. My boyfriend is picking me up after my shift.”

(The man grumbles something incoherent, pays with food stamps, then leaves. My manager comes over, to help close my register down.)

Manager: “What was that about?”

Me: “I’m not sure. I think he was trying to pay me to sleep with him.”

Manager: “You know, I was wondering if that’s what was happening.”

Buy One, Get One Free a From Thought

, | Canada | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(A customer presents me with a buy one get one free for a burger.)

Customer: “How much would this come to?”

Me: “That’s [price].”

Customer: “Okay, and how much would it be if I didn’t use the coupon and only got one burger?”

Me: *That’s [same price].”

Customer: “But how come it’s the same price?”

Depressing Customer Service

| CO, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Health & Body

(A customer and her five-ish-year-old son are checking out at my register. There is a magazine display nearby. One of the magazines’ cover is a tribute to a comedian who recently committed suicide.)

Customer’s Son: *pointing at the magazine* “Mommy, he died. Did you know he died?”

Customer: “Yes, it was very sad.”

Son: “He committed suicide. What does ‘committed suicide’ mean?”

Customer: “It means he hurt himself badly. Now, let’s go.

Son: “He hurted himself and died? I don’t understand. Can I skin my knee and die?!”

Customer: “No, it’s not like that. He was very sad.”

Son: “What? He died of being sad? Why was he sad? Someone said he was ‘depressed.’ What is ‘depressed?'”

Customer: *to me* “Can you explain this to him? I don’t want to.”

Me: “Um, well, I don’t really feel comfortable doing that; I’m sorry.”

Customer: “What? I hate this store. You’re so unhelpful. I’ll be talking to your corporate office.” *drags son out the door*

(I think even corporate will agree that explaining mental illness to a customer’s five-year-old is not my job.)