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Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

Convicted Of Stupidity

| Finland | At The Checkout, Criminal & Illegal, Extra Stupid

(A customer walks in the store and proceeds to the counter.)

Customer: “I’m so glad they arrange you folk some proper jobs.”

(She then walks into the store, leaving me puzzled with her comment. She returns in a bit with a product.)

Me: “That’ll be €25.99. Cash or card?”

Customer: “Don’t take this wrong, but I don’t want to give my credit card to a convict.”

Me: “A convict? I assure you I’ve never had any problem with the law.”

Customer: “Why do you have bars in the windows, then?”

Me: “Our insurance company insists on having them so you can’t get in by just breaking a window.”

Customer: “Oh…”

(I’ve never seen anyone with such a bright red face before!)

Very Week Time-Keeping

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Spouses & Partners

(A customer, with her husband in tow, seems to be having trouble locating the product she wants on the shelf, so I offer to help.)

Me: “Were you looking for something in particular?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m looking for [product].”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. That product was actually discontinued about six months ago.”

Customer: “What? That’s impossible! I just bought one a week ago!”

Customer’s Husband: *perfectly calm and quiet* “No, honey, it was longer ago than that.”

Customer: “Okay, maybe a month ago, but still—”

Customer’s Husband: *still completely calm and composed* “No, it was more than a month ago.”

Customer: “Well, whenever it was, it was definitely less than six months ago!”

Customer’s Husband: *still taking it all in stride* “No, six months ago sounds about right.”

(At this point, the woman looks pretty annoyed at her husband, but I think she realizes he is correct and there is no point in fighting it.)

Customer: “…fine. I guess I got it six months ago.”

An Automatic Autistic Response

| CA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Health & Body

(I work at a retail store. We are having a donation opportunity for the month of May where customers can donate money toward autism research. We are supposed to ask every customer if they would like to donate. I finish ringing this customers items up.)

Me: “And would you like to put a dollar towards autism research?”

Customer: “You know, kids would stop getting autism if they stopped all that vaccinating.”

Me: “…have a nice day, sir.”