Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

The Sweet Taste Of Karma

| Canada | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Crazy Requests

(I work in a busy chocolate store. One of our more popular items is a mint chocolate bar. They sell really quickly and we often run out of them within two days of the delivery. A customer wants to buy six of them, but we are out.)

Customer: *staring at me and my coworker in utter disbelief* “What do you mean you’re all out?”

Me: “We don’t have any left. I just sold the last few about 10 minutes ago. They’re really popular and—”

Customer: “I DON’T CARE WHAT THEY ARE. I KNOW YOU HAVE THEM! GIVE THEM TO ME! AND I EXPECT THEM FOR FREE FROM ALL THE STRESS YOU’RE CAUSING ME!”

Coworker: “Ma’am, we’re really sorry. We don’t have any left, and if we don’t have any left, that means we don’t have any to give to you. You’ll have to come back another time.”

Customer: “I’M NOT GOING TO COME BACK ANOTHER TIME! YOU TWO USELESS LITTLE SCABS ARE LYING TO ME! YOU’RE HIDING THEM FOR YOUR FAT SELVES! I DEMAND ALL YOUR MINT BARS RIGHT THIS INSTANT! HOW DARE YOU TELL ME YOU DON’T HAVE ANY LEFT! I’M GOING TO GET YOU FIRED FOR THIS.”

(At this point, a little old lady has wandered in, looking disgruntled.)

Old Lady: *taps the screaming customer on the shoulder* “They said they’re out. That means they can’t give you any. What do you want them to do? S*** them out? Because you deserve that instead of the bar!”

(The screaming customer stormed off and we haven’t seen her since!)

No Plaice For A Jedi

| Seattle, WA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV

(I have just placed an order at a fish ‘n’ chips restaurant.)

Cashier: “Okay, here’s your receipt, sir. Your order number is 66.”

Me: “Huh. How many Order 66’s do you get through every day?”

Cashier: “Two, sometimes three.”

Me: “Wow, all those poor Jedi…”

Past The Point Of No Return, Part 5

| Columbus, OH, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Theme Of The Month

(I am working the returns desk. If a customer returns too many times under an ID instead of a receipt, it blocks them in our return system. To help out someone who just wants to use an ID, I warn them about what may happen and try to find the receipt in my computer first. A customer walks in with some closet doors to return.)

Me: “Hello. Do you have your receipt or the card you may have paid with?”

Customer: “No, just use my ID.”

Me: “Are you sure you don’t want me to try and find it? If you use your ID too many times it will block you.”

Customer: *suddenly very angry* “Look! I am a contractor and I am registered with your corporate as a contractor, so I can make as many ID returns I want! So why don’t you just shut up and do your d*** job, or is your job too hard?!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I was just trying to help out. I wasn’t aware you were a contractor and were registered with corporate.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t need your f****** help. Do your d*** job, you stupid idiot. I buy from here all the time and have never been treated so rudely!”

Me: “I AM doing my job, sir, by informing you of some policy you may not have known about. I also politely request you watch your language. You are in a public place and are being very rude to me and the people around you.”

Customer: “I will be rude to who ever I f****** want. I just want you to know you have completely ruined by whole day!” *starts storming off*

Me: *in the most polite voice I can muster* “Well, I hope the rest of your day is fantastic, sir!”

Customer: *flips me the bird* “F*** YOU!”

Related:
Past The Point Of No Return, Part 4
Past The Point Of No Return, Part 3
Past The Point Of No Return, Part 2
Past The Point Of No Return

My Unfair Lady

| Pasadena, MD, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Rude & Risque

(I work in an adult-themed shop. A female customer has just walked up to make a purchase.)

Me: “Hello. How are you today?”

Customer: *grumbles*

Me: “Okay… Did you find everything?”

Customer: *grumbles*

(I take this as my hint to stop trying to be helpful and just get this over with as soon as possible.)

Me: “All right. Your total is [price].”

Customer: *handing me money* “You really should be ashamed of yourself, you know.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “You must not be a proper lady, working in a place like this. Shameful!”

Me: “You mean me working here, trying to make a living and keep my bills down, is shameful compared to you walking in my store to buy smut and hooker clothes, then acting very rude towards me?”

(The customer turns bright red, pays, and leaves.)

R-Word Is R-Rated

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Bigotry

(My coworker also happens to be my very best friend. He is severely disfigured, but sweet and very talented at carving. However, because of his appearance, our manager keeps him working in the back room most of the time. One day our manager is out sick and has left me in charge. My best friend comes out of the back room to bring me some inventory. A customer sees him.)

Customer: “Oh, dear!” *to me* “Bless you, dear.”

Me: “Um, thank you?”

Customer: “For hiring someone like that poor boy!”

(She is speaking as though my friend isn’t standing right beside me. He looks hurt, and I try to hurry the customer along.)

Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with, ma’am?”

Customer: “People like you really are a blessing, dear. Even the retarded need jobs in this country. I would never employ one, but I certainly respect those who do.”

Me: “Um, ma’am, could you please not say that word?”

Customer: “What, retarded? But it’s what he is.”

Me: “No, he isn’t. I’m going to have to ask you to leave, please.”

Customer: “But look at him! He’s obviously retarded, dear. You don’t have to lie. He can’t understand you.”

(At this point, I am very angry and my friend looks near tears.)

Me: “Ma’am, he is not mentally impaired, and he understands every word that we’re exchanging. It’s not difficult to grasp that you’re an enormous bigot, either. Please leave the store.”

(The customer starts to leave in a huff, but pauses to admire some hand-carved birds at the front of the store.)

Me: “By the way, he made those.”

(The customer glares at me and storms out.)