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Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 39

| NY, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

(A woman and her friend come up to my register to pay for her rather large order. She hands me her credit card and continues talking to her friend.)

Me: “I’m sorry, miss, your card was declined.”

(She glares at me before returning to her friend.)

Me: “Let me try it again. Still coming back declined.”

Customer: “How can that be? Are you sure you’re doing it right?”

Me: “It’s hard to do it wrong. I’ll key it in manually. Maybe my reader is broken.”

(I manually key in the card; it gets declined again.)

Me: “I’m sorry miss, your card was declined again. Do you ha—”

Customer: *to friend* “You know? I spend more money in this place than this guy makes in a week.”

Me: “That may be the reason your credit card is maxed out.”

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 38
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 37
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 36

No Eggo For The Vego

, | Australia | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I am serving on the registers over breakfast, when a female customer approaches.)

Customer: “I’m vego.”

Me: *realising she means she’s a vegetarian* “Umm… okay?”

Customer: “So I’ll have a bacon and egg muffin with no egg.”

Me: “A bacon and egg muffin without egg?”

Customer: “Yep, I’m vego.”

Me: “So you want the bacon on the muffin”?

Customer: “Yep, but no egg. I’m vego.”

Me: “…”

Dying For A Discount

| IN, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

(An elderly lady comes up to my register with a full cart and automatically starts complaining about how much stuff she has, like that is anyone else’s fault but her own.. She is one of those lovely customers who puts one item on the counter at a time for me to scan, and complains the whole long while. I know she’s going to have a problem with her total, so I just go ahead and apply the senior discount without her asking; policy is for the customer to ask. After she complains about the total and I let her know how much I saved her, she says:)

Customer: “Honey, could you do any better than that?”

Me: “No, that’s the best discount I can give you this week.”

Customer: “Are you sure? This is just an awfully high total.”

Me: “Yeah, that’s the best I can do.”

Customer: “Oh, well, I just don’t like that total. And anyway, my doctor says I’m going to die soon, maybe tomorrow, and won’t be able to use all of this anyway, so is there anything else you can do?”

Me: “…We can put some of your items back?”