Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

Don’t Have Baggage About Types Of Baggage, Part 2

| MI, USA | At The Checkout, Language & Words, Popular

(I am a cashier at a local grocery store. This exchange happens between the customer and my bagger.)

Bagger: “Sir, would you like paper or plastic?”

Customer: “Either way works; I’m bag-sexual.”

Me: *stifled laughter*

Related:
Don’t Have Baggage About Types Of Baggage

I’m Not Here All The Time

| ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre

Me: “Would you like to sign up to receive our coupons?”

Customer: “No, it’s okay. I’m in here all the time.”

Me: “Oh, so then you might want the coupons then, because they are exclusive to the people who sign up and they give you certain percentages off your purchases.”

Customer: “No, I wouldn’t use them. I hardly ever shop here.”

Not Going To Have A Nice Day With That Attitude

| UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Popular

(I work at a retail store at the far end of town as a retail assistant. I’m currently serving a little old lady and we’re making small talk.)

Me: “Hi! How are you today?”

Old Lady: *chirpily* “Oh, not so bad, feeling a bit so-so today.”

(We continue to make small talk as I scan her item, everything seems to be going smoothly right until the last moment.)

Me: “…and here is your receipt and change! Have a nice day—”

Old Lady: *outbursts* “THIS ISN’T BLOODY AMERICA YOU KNOW!”

Me: “I… what?”

Old Lady: “I WANT YOU TO APOLOGISE FOR WHAT YOU JUST SAID! TELLING ME TO HAVE A NICE BLOODY DAY!”

Me: *shocked but trying to stay focused* “I’m sorry for telling you to have a nice day…?”

Old Lady: “Good! Now make sure you don’t say it again!”

(She stormed off in a huff.)

A Junior Burger Becomes A Big Problem

| NC, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Funny Names, Popular

(I work at a fast food joint where I mostly operate drive-thru. As any other restaurant, we have a large menu based on the outside for customers to see.)

Me: “Welcome to [Restaurant]. What can I get for you?”

Customer: “Get me two hamburgers.”

Me: “All right, sir, would you like our quarter pound size burger, or the junior sized burger?”

Customer: “…I don’t know your lingo, sir. I guess the quarter pound single, then. Two of them.”

Me: “All right, sir, that will be seven dollars and ten cents at your second window.”

Customer: “Whoa, now. That’s way too much! That isn’t what I wanted!”

Me: “So you would like the two junior hamburgers instead?”

Customer: “Yes, that’s what I want! Jesus.”

Me: “All right, that will be two dollars and fifteen cents. Thank you.”

(The customer pulls around:)

Me: “Two dollars and fifteen cents, please.”

Customer: “I don’t know your lingo here. You guys really need to put up a sign or something out there that tells me exactly what you have and the difference between each entry.”

Me: “With all due respect, sir, we have a large menu just behind the speaker that does just that.”

Customer: *mouth drops open and skin turns red* “Tell your manager that you’re gonna be looking for a new job soon!” *angrily drives away*

Not Interested In Redemption

| Corner Brook, NL, Canada | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Money

(The store I work in gives out $5 coupons when the customer spends $50+ for two weeks, and then the next week they can redeem it. It was the week of redemption.)

Me: “Your total is [over $50].”

Customer: “So I get a coupon.”

Me: “Well, actually this is the redemption period. Do you have a coupon I can redeem?”

Customer: “No, you need to give me one. I spent over $50; I earned one.”

Me: “I’m sorry, we spend two weeks handing them out then a third redeeming them. We don’t hand any more out past the two weeks.”

Customer: “I can see them on your desk! Give me one!”

Me: “We keep those to see how many people are redeeming them. I can’t give you one.”

Customer: “Just give me the f***ing coupon! I earned it.”

(This goes on for a few minutes. It’s a busy season so there’s about 10 people waiting, and since the store is so small, that makes the store pretty full.)

Me: “How about I just give you $5 off instead so you get the discount?”

(She turns to my coworker.)

Customer: “Wow, some f***ing b****es just need to get a hold of their hormones.”

(Coworker says nothing so she leaves. Later I find out she reported me, to which my manager told her I was right.)