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Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

It Would Be Penny-Wise To Accept Them

| Scotland, UK | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Money

Me: “Okay, sir, that’ll be £[Total], please.”

Customer: *begins rifling through his fanny pack for change* “Oh, god.”

Me: “You all right?”

Customer: “I… just… It won’t…”

Me: “Do you not have the right change?”

Customer: *brings out two fistfuls of change and plants them on the counter* “Oh, god.”

Me: *worried* “Umm?”

Customer: *continues to rifle through fanny pack and draws another fist of pennies* “Nooo.”

Me: “Sir, I think this is plenty. I—”

Customer: *moans as if in pain as he brings out two more fistfuls* “THEY’RE BREEDING!”

(I’m still laughing.)

Cash Back Flack

| New Orleans, LA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

(I am a cashier at a local grocery store. When paying with a debit card, customers can choose to get cash back from their checking account.)

Customer: *absent-mindedly clicks through the buttons on the electronic payment keypad*

Me: “All right, here’s your $50 cash back.”

Customer: “What? I didn’t ask for that!”

Me: “You did, ma’am. You were asked if you wanted cash back, pressed yes, then the $50 amount.”

Customer: “No, I didn’t! I just kept pressing ‘yes!'”

Me: “Well, the “yes” button on the first screen becomes the “yes” button for cash back, then the $50 button for the amount. It’s an easy mistake to make if you’re just pressing it over and over.”

(I am still attempting to hand her the $50 she pulled out.)

Customer: “Well, I don’t want that!”

Me: “I HAVE to give it to you, ma’am. It’s your money from your account. I can’t keep it.”

Customer: “Well, just put it back in my account!”

Me: “That’s not how cash back works…”

Coupon And On And On, Part 2

| Boston, MA, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers

(I am waiting in line for a register. This particular store only has one register that technically is not self-serve. I need to use it because I am paying with my student ID. A woman in front of me is being rung up by the cashier, an older, nice-looking woman who seems a little uncertain throughout the transaction.)

Customer: “No, no! This is wrong! See, I have this coupon and it takes this much off the order, not that much!”

Cashier: “Um, okay, let me fix that for you then.”

(This customer has an entire envelope filled with coupons. I am feeling pretty sure by this point that this woman has calculated everything down to the last cent and is refusing to accept anything else. I end up standing second in line for over twenty minutes.)

Other Cashier: *to me* “You can use this self-serve over here if you’re ready.”

Me: “Oh, no thanks. I’m paying with my student ID so I need to be in this line. I’m not in a hurry anyway.”

Cashier: *looks at me apologetically*

(After the manager has finally had to show up because the customer apparently thinks that she’s been charged for one extra bottle of lotion than she bought – I’m not entirely sure what was happening at this point anyway – the woman finally leaves and the cashier breathes out a sigh of relief. I quickly grab a Snickers bar before I walk up to the counter.)

Cashier: *to me, looking frazzled* “I’m so sorry about the wait. It’s my first day and I’m still figuring things out.”

Me: “That’s okay; we’ve all been there.”

(She rings me up with no problem and just a moment of being shown how to process my student ID by the manager. She bags all my things and I quickly reach in to grab the candy and put it back on the counter.)

Me: “Thank you. Here, this is for you!”

Cashier: “Really?”

Me: “Yup!”

Cashier: “Wow, thank you! Have a great night!”

Me: “You, too!”

(I really do hope her night got better! First days are hard enough as it is.)

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Coupon And On And On