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Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

Noodling Around The Options

| ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Money

(Our restaurant has some pretty popular combo dinners. Some people like to change some of the dishes in them. If the dish they want to substitute is close in price to the original, it’s no problem; however, if they want a more expensive dish, we do charge for the difference.)

Woman: “Yes, I want this dinner here, but what is this?”

Me: “The chow mein? That’s mainly bean sprouts with chicken, little bit of mushrooms.”

Woman: *pulls a face* “No, no, I don’t want those. I’m looking for a dish with noodles. Can I do that?”

Me: “Sure, but there’ll be a small charge for the switch. What did you want in the noodles?”

Woman: “I want to keep the chicken, and maybe some vegetables.”

Me: “Okay, that’ll be a $3 charge.”

Woman: “What? Why?”

Me: “Well, the thing with the bean sprouts is a small plate, and it’s $6, while the one with the noodles is a bigger plate, and costs almost $9. It’s just the price difference in the dishes.”

Woman: *pulls another face* “No, that’s too much.”

(She proceeds to keep the bean sprouts, add a $4 dish to her order, and then wants to pay.)

Woman: “Is a $100 bill okay?”

The Times, They Are a’Changin’

| MD, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Money

Me: “Your total is $4.24.”

Customer: *hands me a twenty*

Me: “Here’s your change.” *hands back $15.76* “Have a wonderful day!”

Customer: “… Didn’t I give you a five?”

Me: “I don’t think so…”

(Customer checks her pocket and pulls out the five she meant to give me.)

Me: “Doesn’t this usually happen the other way around?”

Doesn’t Know Zip About State Secrets

| CO, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

(I’m currently standing at the register. At this time, we have to ask for a customer’s zip code before proceeding with their transaction, and we are expected to get 70% of customers per day to give us one.)

Me: “Hello, how are you today?”

Customer: “Fine.”

Me: “Can I get your zip code, please?”

Customer: “No. I work for the Secret Service and it would be a breach of national security for you to know anything like that about me.”

Me: “Um… okay.”

(I proceed to ring him out for a transaction over $100. We have to ask for ID on any transaction over a certain amount being charged to a card. The guy pulls out a card and swipes it.)

Me: “Sir, I do need to see an ID if you are using that card.”

Customer: “Okay.”

(He then proceeded to take out his ID and show it to me – which had his zip code along with all his other information.)